Run: 1779
Date: Monday 5th December 2011
Hare: Sir Slab & Sir Prince Valiant
Venue: Robina Cricket Oval
Runners: 24

Weeks to AGPU: 27
The skies looked ominous and the summer warmth was replaced by a somewhat winter chill, however a good pack of 24 eager runners still showed to what is normally a premium evening event. With the RA working overtime keeping the rains at bay a number of the runners hurriedly offered their services in staying back to help Sir Prince prepare the evening’s feast, thus doubting the RA’s ability.
Caustic lead the pack off dressed in his fluoro orange work wear obviously just coming off a council work site somewhere. We ran across the road in the usual direction but it was not long before looped back towards the start. Over the road and north towards somewhat unfamiliar grounds.

It was only just into the run but serial offender, Flasher, already decided to run past the arrows (wasn’t even a check or on back), and merrily ran his own run, as he does and once again showing a total disregard for the Hare. When are we going to ice this guy!

We emerged from under the bridge again close to home, maybe too close for some, as we then headed west towards the distant Skilled Park. Around the back of the houses through some soft ground and we finally emerged at the Titan’s home ground.

We continued around the stadium and back into more shiggy and soft tracks. I managed to front run and find the distant On Back and decided it was a good time to stop for a leak, however, before doing so I forgot to tell Veteran it was an On Back, much to his disgust.

Slab, following on his bike, managed to keep the diminishing pack on trail, which continued further around the stadium and, south under the road and around the school before emerging near the Robina Town Centre.
It was then through the station and towards the familiar, or so we thought, track home. We managed to run a number of false trails before finding the right trail and the good run home.
Back at home base we found the number of volunteer cooks had swelled with KB, Aussie, Ferret and Botcho all in the mix assisting resident Master Chef, Sir Prince.
We also noted that our tables had been moved due to the arrival of the cricket club members for their meetings. How dare the cricket club invade our privacy holding a meeting at their club house during cricket season! However a few free feeds to several hovering cricket club members ensured we were welcome to stay.

The fine nosh consisted of soup, sweat & sour pork stir fry followed by lychees (cleaning out the local Asian supermarket at exorbitant expense to the Hash) and ice cream. jigsaw gave the nosh a deserved 8.5/10 stating “it doesn’t get any better that this”.

Bent Banana gave the run report an equal mark of 8.5/10 adding it was a good run and well marked. VD gave the walk trail the same accolades.
Of note too was the return of the King, Elvis, seen handing out dodgy T-shirts with hash spelt “Hasn”. Returning runner, BB, from the wilds of Laos gave a sales pitch on his magic pills worthy of the real Peter Foster, not the GM one. As always a great night again by the Sir’s.

Down Downs;
Sir Slab & Sir Prince; Hares
BB & Elvis; Returning runners
Botcho; Allegedly “seeing things” at post Splinter Hash entertainment
Sir Prince; Finding suspect venue following Splinter Hash
Ferret; Being first to enter above mentioned suspect venue
Flasher; Serial offender, doing own run yet again
Caustic; Noted riding home on Hare’s bike
Rug; Last to pay,again
Ferret; Charged by Cumsmoke for excessive “back seat driving” following Splinter Hash
Rug; For forgetting to bring POW, too well hidden and can’t remember where

DON’T FORGET CHRISTAMAS RUN ON 19TH DECEMBER, 5:15 START AT BUDDS BEACH, WEAR YOUR RED SANTA GEAR

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1778
Date: Monday 28th November 2011
Hare: Arseup & Sir Rabbit
Venue: Park @ Benowa
Runners: 31

Weeks to AGPU: 28

The call went to fill in for Now Loved’s run and many an offer came forth, which is fantastic and what hash is all about. Sir Rabbit offered to do the Nosh and Arseup offered to set a run, remembering all at short notice. The venue was the somewhat now familiar park behind Benowa Road. Arseup advised that the run was all on chalk, tipping us off that this was heading to pretty much familiar roads, paths and drains that abound these parts. We were also further told that the arrows had been tampered with, and thus emerged many theories of possible sabotage.

The good size pack took off into the steamy conditions and we soon found ourselves crossing Benowa Road and heading east along the well worn drain headed by regular early front runner, Flasher. The trail continued towards the east.

After a couple of checks and a regroup, ignored by Flasher, we soon ended up backtracking along the canal and in to the realms of the racecourse stable area. Rumblings could be heard in the pack regarding the lack of on backs and trails just finishing. At the back of the stables Rectum and I, running a check, lost the scent but soon picked up the scent of the horse manure and decided our best avenue was to cut through the stables and rejoin the group somewhere around the racecourse.

To our surprise the trail did not head South to Ashmore Road but North and further away from home. I suspect by the direction a few returned that they too thought this was the way home.
We found the trail and caught up to the Hare and Mumbles sweeping the trail. We also somehow managed to catch front runner, Flasher, who no doubt had once again run his own trail and got lost. After a long run, a couple of loops and a nasty little hill on Heeb Street we again emerged at Benowa Road and headed South towards home, some finding the path to the park with others running in on the out trail. A hard 55 minute slog in humid conditions.

The Nosh consisted of garlic bread, green salad, pasta capricosa. This was finished with ice cream blocks served by Arseup, during the circle, from the famous Sir Rabbit’s musical vending contraption thus silencing the wingers who had complained about no dessert being served with dinner.

Mumbles gave the food report saying it was good but there were no tomatoes with the salad and gave it a stiff 5/10 (prior to knowing about the dessert) so another 1 will be added. The run report by myself was more praising than others who complained about no on backs and dodgy arrows but given it was a last minute fill in effort I gave it a 6.5/10.

We also heard that the 28th of November was the anniversary of arrival for several of our immigrant members being Rug (6 years), Caustic (23 years) and Mumbles (43 years I think). It was suggested we should have a joint annual run featuring Haggis as the Nosh, warm Pommy beer and a run shrouded in secrecy.

Now loved has also been given an all clear, which is great news and a well deserved early Christmas present. Dicky Knee has also returned with the Melbourne weather finally getting to him.
The Saturday night Cocktail Party at Bumbles Cafe was also mentioned with over 50 attending and a great night had by all and hopefully now an annual event.

Down Downs:
Ross, Dicky Knee, Rock Hard & Swindler; Visitor and returning runners

Arseup & Sir Rabbit; Hares

Kwakka; Failing in his left hand monitoring duties several weeks ago

Ross; Not singing

Crocodile; No crownies brought for birthday, we still await

Rug, Caustic & Mumbles; Immigrant anniversary

Mumbles; Failing to own up as returning runner

Rug; POW (by Old Fart) for failing to call on during run
—————————————————————————————————————————
REMEMBER SPLINTER HASH THIS FRIDAY 2ND DECEMBER AT BENOWA GARDENS CHINESE. HOST IS MAD MIKE. 12 NOON FOR 12:30. BYO

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1777
Date: Monday 21st November 2011
Hare: Old Fart
Venue: Old Fart Land, Pacific Pines
Runners: 28

Weeks to AGPU: 29
We headed off to Old Fart’s place with not a storm cloud in site, obviously the RA finally had to intervene thus ensuring a potentially dry run. Apparently the Hare did try to set the run on Saturday but the clouds started rolling in, forcing a change of plan and the need to set the run in disguise. Good numbers arrived despite a few of the pack away on their annual boys camping pilgrimage over the border, although I think the term camping may be a bit understated given the equipment this lot packs when they go on tour.
As expected in these parts hills were to play an integral part of the evening and this run was to be no exception. Away we went down the hill then up and down again and running about a kilometre before the trail ran out, the first of a few dodgy on backs.
Back up a side road and down more hills before heading along the bike paths, parkway and towards the infamous Pac Pines pub, no drink stops noted. At this point Rectum joined us in his new company vehicle, but not for a run, just looking for the GM, grovelling no doubt. Onwards we went towards the edge of the Nerang State Forrest with no Mumbles in sight to help us get hopelessly lost.
We continued into the forest and soon diverted off the perfectly good trails that abound in these parts and trudged our way, up a hill, through the dense undergrowth. Again we emerged on the right side of the forest and continued along the streets. All I could hear along most of the run was Caustic and Arseup discussing their Friday night escapades in Surfers, dressed in rain coats and loaded with lollies no doubt given it was Schoolies week.
We finally headed towards home but between where we were and where we had to go stood a rather large hill. And so it was as over the next 20 minutes or so we trudged up and down seemingly endless hills upsetting the local dog population. After 70 minutes the front runners got home and Flasher, who finally managed to stay on trail for 90% of the run still short cutted at the final leg. This was obviously a revenge run for Old Fart for having a late finish at last week’s event.
During the circle Arseup was asked for his run report which was given a good mark of 8/10 despite the hills and getting lost. Sir Rabbit commented on the nosh of Lasagne, bread rolls and ice cream saying it was fine but rabbits need their greens and the nosh lacked this but still got a respectable 7/10. Also Ferret helped out with the Hash Cash duties obviously wanting to fund his next tour of duty, thanks. He also concluded proceedings with a joke, but not before presenting the GM with a gift (wife impersonator) obtained on his recent holiday with the boys.
Thanks also to the guest scribes for their contributions over the past two weeks due to my absence, bloody work will do that you know.

Down Downs:
Nut Cracker, Rainbow, Flatulence; Visitor and returning runners

Gavin (aka) Show Pony; Returning runner and funny name

Prawn Star; Leaving for 2 months to Philippines

Old Fart; Hare

Caustic & Arseup; Friday night escapades

Moonbeams; Something about blowing horn and making Show Pony fall

Two Dogs; Self imposed and fessing up to being absent for 2 weeks, staying in beautiful down town Morayfield

Old Fart; Getting lost on own trail

KB; “Peter Foster” comment to GM

Arseup; 100 runs

Old Fart; POW, awarded by Pizza for being a “good” prick for looking after the trailer

Crocodile; Birthday boy, we await the crownies

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs