Run: 1794
Date: Monday 19th March 2012
Hare: Pizza & Rectum
Venue: Pizza Palace
Runners: 27

Weeks to AGPU: 12
Seems the RA must be a busy little bee these days as he has had considerable difficulty in controlling the elements, either that or he has a weird sense of humour. Pouring rain, sun, showers, more rain, more sunshine, yet more rain, and thus was all day Monday.

Rectum had waited until the skies cleared, yet again, and as late as possible went to set the run only to watch it wash out within minutes of finishing. As a result the venue was changed from the race track to the well utilised Pizza Palace, with only Dicky Knee failing the “find the new venue” test. The solid pack arrived to hear the sad news of the run wash out but was placated by the fine post Saint Patrick’s Day dark brew.

The GM and I informed Rectum a run was mandatory and that the live hare option was inevitable. We suggested he make pace quickly and get a good start as the penalty for getting caught can be painful and or embarrassing, pending which penalty one applies. Rectum quickly disappeared with his new patented flour trail marker.

Meanwhile the pack, unaware of these proceedings, was still tucking into the brew, again skilfully brewed and supplied by host Pizza, adding to the Saint Patrick’s Day theme. Finally figuring the Hare had a fair start the GM called the rabble to order and sent them on their way in hot pursuit. The trail was surprisingly good as we ran west along Slatyer Avenue and soon crossed the road, towards the bush.
The pack was then forced to endure the drain section with ankle deep water now filling the once dry water course. After a few hundred metres, to the amazement of many a resident wondering at the goings on in the drain behind their abodes, we turned left across the slushy grass section.

Rug and I were now in the lead group as we came across yet another drain crossing. Rug tested the depth, thinking it only a few centimetres deep, but in fact it was now well over waist deep as Rug disappeared into the murky waters. Not being in possession of the same, secret agent, survival skills of Rug I quickly decided to head for the road and run around the drain and cross it at the Benowa Road intersection.

I found Rug again as we now struggled to find the next leg of the trail. As I headed north along Benowa Road I spotted front runner Miscarriage in the distance and quickly followed, again finding the trail. Bent Banana and Rug had now disappeared trying to find the trail in other ways. Miscarriage and I continued until we turned east into Cottlew Street East and managed to lose the trail somewhere along this stretch.

We searched high and low but in the end we figured if we continued to Ferry Road we’d find the trail or at least be in the right direction for home. Apparently the correct trail went further north to the Tafe College before looping back south then east parallel to home.

Aussie was out here somewhere as well but as to which section he did is unknown. The walkers, I am led to believe, did a quick about turn at the water leg and returned to the dry conditions and ready brew awaiting at home base. Never the less a great effort in trying conditions.

The nosh, also prepared by Rectum, was an Irish stew with lamb, onions, and vegies, which turned out a treat with plenty to go around, even Blacky had some, which must be a major stamp of approval. A flaming desert of an Irish Cream Brule topped with Baileys followed, again an enjoyable treat.

Rug gave a brief run report saying it was good and he particularly enjoyed the swim leg 8/10. The food was also given a resounding 8/10 as given by the majority.
Thanks to Rectum for the run and nosh and thanks again to Pizza for use of the Palace and providing the brew, though I suspect the morning after might have had some interesting results.

PS Don’t forget the big 1800th action packed, fun filled event happening on the 30th April!!
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Down Downs:
Pizza & Rectum: Hares

Rug: Spectacular swan dive into drain

Flasher: No gift for GM following OS tour to Philippines

Phantom: Returning runner

Splat: New name for son of Head Job

KB: Charged by Miscarriage for not being on electoral roll and thus being unable to assist Miscarriage in forthcoming 157th tilt at a political post

Splat: POW by KB for being fourth member of Village People (go figure)

On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

Run: 1792
Date: Monday 5th March 2012
Hare: Veteran & Sir Rabbit
Venue: Coombabah
Runners: 19

Weeks to AGPU: 14
Aussie’s name had been on the Hare line for months now and yet last week he declared he didn’t know it was his run and he would be in Melbourne anyway.

Don’t worry, the repercussions will be severe and swift, however a carton of Crownies may assist in redemption. Veteran and Sir Rabbit stepped up to the plate with the ever reliable Coombabah Wetlands (aka Shit Farm) as the new chosen venue.

However the skies had not cleared and the climate change storms had continued resulting in a somewhat tame and predictable run. The alternative would have been a very wet and miserable slosh through appalling conditions.

Considering the very average conditions a reasonable pack of 19 runners showed including visitor from the south, Iceman.

Show Pony was spied acquiring some fishing gear and tips from KB he need for catching some monster fish (apparently) residing in his marina. Fortunately the RA was in attendance and had thankfully diverted the rain for the duration of our evening.

The Hare, Veteran, commenced with a 10 minute ramble on the run and checks and thousands of dangerous kangaroos and red paper for walkers and toilet paper for others and in the end it was blah, blah, blah. Instead he could have said he has just set a 7km loop using only one roll of dunny paper and half a bag of flour with one check and watch out for the rabid roos and flooding rivers, simple.

Rectum, Bent Banana and I set the pace with my local knowledge coming into play as we dodged the roos and the water. We came across the one check and walkers trail and continued on our merry loop around the perimeter of the park.

Good running country but not much to report as we returned on the out trail in about 45 minutes with Bent Banana figuring it was about 7.24km and I figured about 7.26km was right.
We arrived back at our road side retreat under the street light to the eagerly awaiting mossie horde, which had figured an extra good feed was on offer tonight.

Sir Rabbit had prepared one of his usual “big pot” surprises of a spag bol type thingy with bread and lettuce followed by lamingtons for dessert.
The GM decided not to ruin the street side ambience we had created and called a very casual “sit down” circle.

He was so astounded at the quality of the food and run created at such short notice that he gave the run a 9.5/10 and the food a 10/10 saying it was the best pasta dish he had ever had. Others agreed that it was the best they’d had that day.

No down downs except for Rug getting the POW (by Flabio) for near gay type infringements on the run amid incorrect accusations about coming from Huddersfield (an English thing I figure).
Iceman, our visitor form Nambucca and Posh Hash chimed in with a joke nearly worthy of repeating (nearly I said).

The seemingly quiet street appeared more like the M1 at peak hour with locals toing and froing trying to figure out why this homeless bunch had descended with their meals on wheels to this neck of the woods. Just as the early circle had concluded the RA could no longer hold back the elements as the heavens opened again and cleared the crowd to return home early trying to explain their “quiet” night at Hash. Well done to Sir Rabbit & Veteran.

PS Don’t forget the big 1800th action packed, fun filled event happening on the 30th April!!
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Down Downs:
Rug; POW, from Flabio, for using pink torch and tip toeing around water on run
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs