Author Archives: Botcho

Run 1840

Run 1840

Date : 4th February 2013

Hare : Testicles and Grand Canyon

Venue : Virginia Grove, Southport

Runners 28ish

Weeks to the end of my thumb regenerating – 3?

Finally we get to run 1839 after last weeks attempt failed due to Mother Nature. Before we pile into the run report, lets not forget the excellent splinter lunch and golf day for those who could, held at Botcho’s Pizza Palace. Another fabulous turn out and food to satisfy the most discerning of diners. Once the clouds had cleared and visibility returned, you could even see the mountains of Montana from Helensvale.

Well it started as a happy re-union at the home of one of the Thirsty Thursday Harrierettes and finished with most of us in fits of laughter. After a week’s hiatus thanks to the gods, many arrived with the best intentions of getting a run in this week – I observed both Kitchen Bitch and Pizza donning the trainers, would it be a walk or a run? Apparently neither, just getting the feet comfy for drinking.

Whilst awaiting the arrival of the pack, Missing link chauffeured several Hashers to the venue in what appeared to be the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo. Clearly Link was Shaggy, Caustic was a passable Fred; Swindler could only be Velma, which left Head Job as Scooby himself.

It was a beautiful and gusty evening on the coast as our hare Testicles gave a word for word rendition of the run preamble from last weeks Thirsty Thursday Hash run. Having already inquired if it was to be an identical run I was informed NO its at least 30% different. Wish I had been scribe then as a quick ‘cut and paste’ would have saved me half an hour tonight.

For the benefit of those who were not there last Thursday, the trail meandered from the venue in the general direction of Ferry road, where, taking our lives in our hands, we crossed, ran alongside a storm drain, through several streets, back over Ferry road and more or less directly back to the venue. The trail was clearly marked but had little in the way of checks and was lacking in duration. 24 minutes and it was all over, although a healthy pace was maintained. Good effort by the runners and nice to see Mumbles back in the fold.

Whilst awaiting the food an open bar was announced, the GM shouting everyone free beers, yes that’s the kind of committee we are. One that bribes your loyalty. Politics looms.

The freebies didn’t stop there, arising from his bed at 3.30am, the GM had personally been out prawn fishing and had cooked the catch for our hors deuvres.

The food was served. At this point I normally use words such as gourmet, epicurean, smorgasbord or shit burgers (in the case of Josephine’s runs) but these fail to hit the mark when describing the sumptuous feast that was laid before us.

A plethora of delicacies assaulted the eyes, beetroot, bean salad, asparagus, salami, fresh leg ham, olives, mixed salad with feta, carrot, pasta salad, potato salad and a delicious stuffed chicken dish. Words fail me.

Circle brought to bear by the birthday boy who was given in impromptu hashy birthday.

Testicles summoned and would have been placed on the ice but there wasn’t enough (makes a change from the beer and wine)

Flasher stated “ a very good run but done the week before” 8.3/10. This score was met with distain by most. The GM stated that the food was in the running for nosh of the year and that a voucher could be on the way (Ferret suggested one from the back of a Coles docket)

Returners –

Pizza, had been in Melbourne which is why you could only hear him faintly over the last two weeks.

Swindler, baby-sitting in Cambodia, this lead to cries of “some call that pedophilia”

Leaver – Head Job – travelling to Europe/Sydney/Christmas Island, the GM left

him with the parting words “the good news is that you’re not coming back”

The powerless RA took the lead and brought out Ferret who gave us the opinion that ‘The hierarchy is a bunch of sucks for cancelling last weeks run” He was given a DD for his lengthy diatribe. PS who gets sued when someone dies under a fallen tree when the authorities have told everyone to stay indoors?

DD to Hard On for a particularly horrible hash shirt lent by Pizza.

Pile Driver gave us an update on his extensive ankle injury, which has fortunately improved so much he has reduced the size of the bandage. It currently looks like mismatched socks.

Sir Slab was thanked for generously bringing mangoes, which had actually been brought by Kitchen Bitch.

Caustic informed all of his role as a test pilot for mental health issues, of course this lead to a feeble punch line I cant even be bothered to type.

Flasher having another senior moment was brought out by Ferret for a DD due to lost property; unfortunately Ferret then used the moment to locate some of his own lost property and was given a DD for his troubles.

KB has found some underwear which suspects as Rock Hard’s, surprisingly there were no takers.

POW Nasty asked his bromance mate Head Job to chose a recipient. Most hashers grabbed chairs, cushions and blankets to get comfy, as this was likely to take some time. Head Job selected –

Rectum – for rightly asking how the Welsh rugby team had done against the Irish

Jigsaw – worried about not getting home in time for the Q and A program

KB – for a comment about a fat arse/gut

Sir Rabbit – not really sure why

Caustic (you were always going to get it) – for the following comments-

“I have only been awarded the prick once this year”

“You big fat Welsh Lesbian” (inaccurate comment, Head Job is not really big)

Caustic came out on top.

DD to Rectum for 100 runs.

Blackie came second at this week’s competition prompting the suggestion that he should take out his wallet before running.

Pizza, who had entertained well throughout the evening, went out on a low note by murdering another joke.

Next Weeks run – Flasher at Tamworth and Discovery Drive.

DD to Flasher and Ferret again, you just can’t keep good men down.

Moonbeams currently working on his overseas home.

Circle ended by Josephine who has clearly been practicing at home.

I would like to thank Testicles for asking Grand Canyon to do the food, top job.

On On

Rectum

Hang On a Sec

Don’t believe a word of it.

Hash Men on Tour in Cambodia

Dear Botcho
Please advise our beloved GCMH3 members that we are thinking of them in this time of crisis.
We have just convened our emergency meeting here and have concluded that we can’t do very much for you all except drink more beer and red wine and say FU to you all.

On On

MC Link Magician and Swindler on tour
photo_opt

Run 1839

Gentlemen,

Plan A, the Cricket match is cancelled
Plan B, the Live Hare Run is cancelled
Plan C, the Piss Up at Sir Rabbit’s bar is cancelled.
In keeping with Emergency Services directives to stay indoors and off the roads i.e. not to go out unless absolutely necessary, all hashing activities for today are unfortunately cancelled. 
Sorry about that but I am sure Mrs. Rabbit will be happy. 
My diet for the remainder of the week will now include lamingtons and pavlovas!
No need to blame our RA as it turns out the power of prayer worked after all. It was just that there
were many many more praying for rain lately than our lone RA opposing rain.
new
On On
Bent Banana
Grand Master

Run 1838

Run 1838
Date : 21th January 2013
Hare : Shat and Veteran
Venue : Macintosh Island, Surfers Paradise
Runners 31

Weeks to Swindler taking over as On Sec- 22

Reminiscent of an English evening at the height of summer, it was cold and pissing down at the venue, despite this the attendance was high, possibly due to the zero chance of finishing the trail drowned in sweat because of the heat.

Veteran addressed the troops with a slightly different version of Sit Slabs piss weak excuse from last week, raining, blah, arrows might not be there blah, what ever happened to live hare? In his defence a runner had been deployed with the knowledge of the trail in the unlikely chance that someone should get lost. Remember those words.

Off we trot over Macintosh bridge towards Main Beach, the trail showed right then over Main Beach Parade, seeing fresh toilet paper I ran towards Surfers, but it died out after 500 metres. I looked for the pursuing pack of which there was none, made my way back to the bridge, still no pack nor arrows evident.

Left with no choice I became a live hare for myself and ran up the spit (where some more arrows were come across). The trail, I am informed, went up to Marina Mirage, past Peter’s chippy before returning back along the boardwalk, through the yacht club and down Teddar.

Once safely back at the venue I was approached by the concerned well-wisher who was wondering where I had got to as no one else was prepared to undertake the trash notes.

Shat had finally made an appearance and was busy watching Sir Prince and Kitchen bitch sort out the food. Henry Faroe, the architect of the ten principals of management, would have been delighted at your use of ‘Delegation’. Again.

Once self served, I tucked into a delicious beef salad, spaghetti with assorted meats and fresh rolls. Sir Rabbit approached and asked “what would you call this then?” The best I could do was SPLOB, – Shats party left over bits. Not only delicious but a wonderful indictment of what can be done with left overs to turn them into a second meal.

Dessert came later, chocolate cake, Ice cream and mangoes, with or without grit, your choice.

Circle convened by the GM and the hares brought out. Swollen Colon, who has been absent quite a bit this year, was invited to do both critiques. Waiting for VD who was taking a leak behind the wheelie bins (a theme continued throughout the circle, despite a nearby council toilet, there’s nothing like evacuating your bladder in public.) “Ran with Blackie, hard to keep up with, well marked (sure) more checks required 7.8/10
“Spaghetti Bolognese kabanosi chilli, I told Shat it deserves food of the year, but I was pissing in his pocket” 7.2/10

DD to the hares who were left with the wise words of Sir Prince “now f%ck off and give some young blokes ago”

Shat brought back to circle and given a Hashy birthday.

Visitors/Returners Jigsaw, with family
Swollen Colon, not getting into it, not getting out of it?
VB, not sure what he said but it had sex in it somewhere
Shredder, hanging out with old Ferret
Semen, 14 months in a Phillipino

R.A.’s 15 minutes started with a Tassy update from VD – “more tourists please” it would seem even Tasmanians realize the problems with inbreeding and require a larger genetic pool. VD also warned against fighting fire without the right equipment, exhibited by singed pubes.
Jigsaw DD from new shoes, usual excuses fell on deaf ears
Two Dogs DD thanks to his namesake in Sound Garden. (living on Ephraim, does he even have a garden?)
DD to Swollen due to Semen’s pyrotechnic induced incontinence.
Kitchen Bitch DD for dropping the mangoes.
Nasty DD for a charitable bike ride dressed as Elvis, exposed by the Gold Coast’s new super grass Sir Slab who went on to charge Sir Prince for failing to attend said bike ride and Missing Link for 9am stubby. Anyone thinking of doing a bank job? Don’t invite Sir Slab.
Hard On DD for attending in non-hash shirt. Again.

POW Croc and Rug bleated about the lack of booze situation, which had lead to their obtaining the prestigious award. They went on (at great length) and blamed half the hash for absence of grog. Those chosen were –

Bent Banana – not buying enough
Blackie – giving free booze (not likely)
Caustic – for buying too much
Aussie – three stubby holders
Two Dogs – drinking VB when black available

The winner (?) was identified as Nasty due to the common denominating factor that he was present on all the occasions when the booze ran dry.

Burka of the week held over, Flasher not taking the GM up on his invitation to put a joke on the web and currently considering renouncing his religion.

Congratulations to Blackie who won another aquathon. He was so fresh at the end he even had enough left in the tank to assist the guy in second place get his wheelchair out of the water after the swim leg.

Splinter lunch reminder – 930 Tee off, 1230 lunch at Botcho’s

Next Weeks run – Hierarchy at the newly renovated Sir Rabbits Bar and grill, Aussie day run with a difference.

Circle ended by Josephine, who’s getting very good at it despite forgetting the words this week.

Thanks to both Veteran and Shat. Thanks also to our designated kitchen assistants Kitchen Bitch and Sir Prince without whom certain runs would be neither gourmet nor ready until Tuesday.

On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.