Run 1855
Date : 20th May 2013
Hare : Swindler
Venue : Somebody Gilchrest park, Tarcoola Crescent, Chevron Island
Runners Lots

The curse is lifted in seven days.

Welcome to the sequel to Ben Hur. Who were all these people gathered in shivering groups on a park the size of a postage stamp? The AGPU was obviously so close you could smell it and it smelled of freedom.

So, Chevron Island, two ways on two ways off (discounting a swim leg) so either a tour round Surfers or Ferry road or a long tour round both. The Hare proclaimed this as the run for the walkers? In which the runners would play second fiddle to the walkers, we must have changed our name to Hash House Amblers.

Furthermore in a completely innovative way, (since Jigsaw’s run a couple of week back) a bottle of ‘High Class’ wine would be presented to the first returner with the key word. How novel. Again.

With a feeling which measured equally of both anticipation and reluctance, we embarked on a semi circumnavigation of Chevron, knowing full well we would be getting off this Gold Coast enigma via the west bridge. Numerous checks were fooling no-one and so it wasn’t long before we arrived at the aforementioned bridge (for the first time).

The trail indicated left and towards the council chambers for the runners – under the bridge for the walkers. The first check showed either left to a dead end or straight on which turned up being a ……….. dead end.

I ended up walking aimlessly for ten minutes, looking for any sign of a trail and was about to give up when I met up with Circumference by the bridge, the trail, apparently, was on the opposite side of the road. Of course, why didn’t anyone think of looking there before? Oh that’s right, according to the markings, it didn’t go that way. This was fast turning into a debacle.

Eventually the trail lead along a path before emerging onto Slatyer and giving a choice of returning to the de ja vu bridge or left to an …….on back obviously.

Back at the bridge, Hashers milled around in utter desperation, the vast majority continued home, I noticed the trail heading north up ferry road, it won’t surprise you I am sure, that after 800m it did a U-turn by the word ‘Dick’ (short for Dicked about) and went straight back to, yes you guessed the bridge once more. Not a debacle, more a travesty.

Once back at the micro-park I observed the general scratching of heads and puzzled glances, what had just happened?

Once settled in the rather refined surroundings of the Hare’s alfresco area, more Nacho’s than you could shake a stick at, were served against the stunning backdrop of Chevron Renaissance etc. A pumpkin soup followed these, which, dependent on your location within the food queue was either delicious or marginally toxic after being ‘watered’ down with red wine.

The mains consisted of what I assume was beef Goulash, rice, sliced baguettes and Greek salad. The servings were generous, the beef tender and the salad tasty, a fine effort. The climax to the meal was apple crumble served with ice cream and caramel sauce, that Swindler certainly knows his way around the kitchen, or does he?

Methinks someone was aiming for nosh of the year. Shame the trophy has already been engraved.

A rather relaxed circle was called with most opting to remain seated. The GM, wearing a hideous Freddy Kruger mask, opened with “Swindler by name, Swindler by nature” and questioned whether the bottle of vino would end up with a Gossips label. The Hare was congratulated on his 68th birthday, he replied with “ Its so good to be with you blokes, you make me feel so young”. Swindlers impressive run count was relayed to the response “we don’t have to worry about Sir Swindler” by Two Dogs.

Ferret was asked to comment on the run, this lead to a ten-minute argument with the Hare about correct markings, Caustic enquired if the Hare had outsourced the run to Cum Smoke, as it was so bad.

Reg was identified as a co-hare and brought out for the onslaught. Despite having attended on only one previous occasion and having never set a run before Swindler seemed to have left most of it up to Reg and strenuously claimed the distance to have been 8.01km. Mr. Garmin (that’s Two Dogs to you) contested this. The score rather generously ended up as 1.08.

Miscarriage described the food as beef stroke-me-off and scored it an 8.01.

Rectum received a bottle of red with a dodgy looking label.

Visitors –

Slug – former Gladstone runner now residing on coast
Mr. Miscarriage – 83 years young and with far more decorum than his progeny
Magician – back from Saigon where he saw testicles (that’s lady-boys for you)
Veteran – Injury prone and adverse to long bouts of travel
Reg – helped cook the meal

Milestone (but too late for a gift) Caustic Crusader with 200 runs – DD

RA dished a DD to Moonbeams for his Franz Klammer get up, Swindler for the artwork on the menu, which unfortunately abused intellectual property. That must be a small portfolio in our hash.
DD to Swindler, Kwakka for the trail, Reg sidestepped the DD with a skill level seldom seen from such a novice hasher. This man has potential.

Charges were asked for and Miscarriage answered the call with a DD to, well who, Princey for kissing cousins, of whom VD adjudicated – seems ok to me. Then a DD to Arse Up as a proxy for Mumbles who recently appropriated Miscarriages shirt.
Caustic volunteered Elvis for sneaking off home half way through the run and hiding in the ladies toilet before rejoining the pack on their way home. Elvis apologized, explaining it was his time of the month.

The circle was then hijacked by the current POW Josephine who was intent on regaining his beloved RA’s position with a strong performance. Those chosen were essentially the current committee –

GM – false charge last week
Croc and Rug – constantly running out of booze
Rectum – Latin for tourists in the trash
RA – failure to stop the rain, apparently he is being chased by a North Queensland farmers co-operative, who are hoping he can end the drought.
Swindler – after taking credit for the food was overheard talking to the boss on the phone asking how to turn the oven on.
Elvis – admission of Eurovision viewing
Slug – arriving on the GC six months ago but not turning up to run until the week before the AGPU.

Slug took out the award, welcome to the GC, as Blackie put it “this is why we can never keep hold of new members”

AGPU seven sleeps and counting. Yeah Baby. Meet 5pm Bruce Bishop car park top level for a few drinks first. Hash formal t-shirts and top hats please. $30 for regular runners and $50 for the bludgers, great value either way.

Remember if you don’t get the job on the committee you wanted then ………………….. You should have volunteered.

End of circle by Franz Moonbeams.

Thanks to Swindler for opening his doors to our rabble, the neighbours wont speak to you for months. Thanks also to Kwakka for taking the trail-marking fall and to Reg for a dazzling display of sidestepping. Good luck as On sec next year Swindler. Sorry was I not supposed to say that.

On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Another tissue of lies.

Run 1854
Date : 13th April 2013
Hare : Committee – Sewerage Remembrance Night
Venue : Alhambra Gardens Graveyard, Nerang
Runners 25ish

Thank God its nearly over.

Despite Zeus wreaking his displeasure on the Gold Coast and ensuring that nothing was left of the trail laid by our beloved GM, nothing appeared to be able to stop our merry ensemble from celebrating the lives of those dedicated to Hashing. Its hard to believe that it is that time of year already, another twelve months down the swany in the blink of an eye, but on the positive side, we have not lost anyone in the preceding twelve months.

Clearly a trail was out of the question, so seizing the opportunity to remain at the front end of the running pack, the GM declared everyone run alongside him. Those who occasionally overtook him suddenly found that they were on a false trail and were called back. A number of re-groups were called which coincidentally occurred when the GM was out of breath.

The route, for those unable to attend and interested, wound its way from the graveyard up Nerang Broadbeach road, through the railway station and under the motorway until railway street where those who wished to stretch their legs could on a sprint home. Not particularly long nor challenging but enough to clean the pipes out and justify two dessert helpings.

As usual, the two main front-runners were Miscarriage and Two Dogs but a noticeable effort was put in by Jigsaw.

Once we were all back (except Truckie who was lost again) the ceremony was conducted in the capable hands of Sir Prince Valliant.

Those lost in the last 35 years were identified as –

First Hill Tanner, Toothpick, Bilge Pump

Former GM’s – Geoff Maiden (344 runs, departed in 2002 at 60 years of age),
Sewerage (527 runs left us 19 years ago at 41 years of age)

Sewerage was responsible for clearing a floor of the Telstra building with his amazing bowel control and for the attendance of other Telstra Hashers namely
Josephine, Sir Rabbit, Commander and Old Fart.

A toast and Hymn were offered with a fitting tribute recorded by Sir Rabbit.

The pack reconvened at a park in Nerang with a backdrop of real athletes working out in the bandstand. Another personal trainer refusing to pay for premises.

Various members of the committee prepared the food but no dips were evident. (We were spoiled for choice last week). The mains were a chicken vindaloo, boiled rice and a gado gado. If the smell was anything to go by we were in for a treat and the taste certainly lived up to the expectation.

The first signs of senility were exhibited by Ferret,. who was pushed into second place in the food line by an over eager Two Dogs.

Dessert was a classic English trifle (none of that sloppy shit), served with a shovel. As most had partaken in several helpings of curry only a few went for seconds on the dessert. God help any of them getting the POW on top of all that.

Circle was called with the stand-in GM for the night absent. Iceman was too terrified to attend and take the reins, a fail to appear warrant was issued for contempt of the GM. Shat informed us all of Pizza’s continued election campaigning, well we all need a dream.

Caustic Crusader was selected as the (stand-in) stand-in GM and down a large swerving of Dutch courage en-route to the circle.

The power went to Caustic’s head quicker than Rolf Harris’ hand went up (you know the rest) and in an agitated uppity state he demanded the ice as he described the run as a debarcle.

Two Dogs was asked for his input, “ well marked, thanks to scruffy the dog, 3.86 km (and many other stats from Mr. Garmin), new runner seen on trail – ‘Flasher’ – joined the pack for once, under the conditions good, good length so we were back in time for the ceremony “

Of the food Ferret said “ One of Rabbits better curries, nice fluffy rice, tasted fine, not quite up to Rose Line standards “ All the committee out for a DD.

Congratulations offered to Sir Rabbit on his 1500th run to cries of ‘ice the b#st%rd’ and ‘get a life’. DD to a note from reg.

Visitor – Reg (a friend of Swindler) was immediately asked if he was gay, strange that it should be Caustic’s first question, a little too close to grooming for my liking.

Circumference was noted as ‘the most useless RA ever, so much rain you are a disgrace’. Flasher was asked to join in the tirade but acquiesced; Kitchen Bitch was not of the same disposition and assisted in the attack on Circumference.

Flasher was given a DD for pulling his head in, after a year of anti Muslim and anti hierarchy rants combined with an email blizzard.

A comment was made by Circumference about umbrellas and pufters missing from the pack?

Now Loved brought out Show Pony’s lost new shoes and despite Pony’s pleas of innocence a DD was taken from them.

DD to Truckie for arriving late to the ceremony.

Shat informed all of a bike ride at 8am Saturday morning at Kingscliffe bowls club (you best get moving its currently 7.08am). Show Pony arrived for it a week early so another DD.

Sir Prince showed everyone his new Tattoo/love bite and is now acknowledged as an official ‘complete idiot’ by his princess.

POW Miscarriage had to leave early so the GM stood in and selected –

Rug – lost on Thursday s hash run
Jigsaw – recorded 25GB of nothing on flash drives
Flasher – disparaging remarks about the trifle (jealousy)
Josephine – due to his yearlong proxy for the GM’s DD’s
Caustic – for making a terrible GM

Josephine was victorious due to his general dissent.

DD to Ferret who was outed by Croc as a fair weather golfer.

Two weeks to the AGPU

Next Weeks run – Swindler at Chevron Island

End of Circle by a reluctant Josephine

Big thanks to all the committee for pitching in, on what could easily be voted nosh of the year and especially to Mrs. Rabbit for the fantastic Gado Gado.

On On
Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.

HHHello Hashers, Straight from the top, next years Hierarchy. If your name appears here you you could be one the lucky ones!! 2013-2014 Hierarchy

Run 1853
Date : 6th April 2013
Hare : Jigsaw
Venue : Benowa, Gold Coast
Runners 32ish

Weeks left of me penning this detritus – 3.

Once again members of the Gold Coast hash could smell the AGPU in the offing and consequently turned out in droves to the venue which everyone knew had only one way in and one way out (unless you fancy a swim with the bull sharks)

After the previous week of pre-lubing the Nash Hash, things had returned to the usual status quo, no women, no strange visitors and a large contingent of walkers. Despite the Nash hash some things didn’t change – such as Kitchen Bitch hiding behind the pots and pans to avoid any form of exercise and Cum Smoke arriving just as the food was being served.

The pack assembled in the delightful patio area at the rear of our Hare’s house and were treated to a flying visit by Sir Slab, who once again, was en-route for another holiday. The incoherent mumblings of Jigsaw indicated it was time to leave. As we ran I attempted to process something about gates on a time lock and arrows only on the right unless they are the left.

From the venue we ran left (no markings – great start) but everyone knew where the bridge off this island was located so left it was. Within two minutes we were at a check, lost, on left and then flummoxed by an on back that was facing the wrong way. Great, another marking debarcle.

At this point common sense took over and we all headed for the bridge, immediately prior to which was a sneaky left which ended up indicating through a gate into the botanic gardens. Ah so that’s what he meant by a locked gate.

We skirted the six-foot fence until we found a low spot in the corner and once over (I would have said safely, but Botcho sliced his hand open) we tried to find any form of marking.

Eventually the on sent us through the gardens and swung us around to the right towards Ashmore road. Numerous checks were marked, some ended in bizarre on back arrows, which were facing the wrong way, the hare evidently needs examining for slykdexia.

We were down to four runners by now and I went left calling a hard on which lead down a path to ………….. nothing. Miscarriage, Botcho and Two Dogs ran right, clearly not wanting to check out my hard on (if you excuse the expression) in the direction of the park gates.

I vaulted a side gate, emerged into what I assume was royal pines, ran in the direction of the traffic noise and climbed over the security fence onto Ashmore Road. Hanging a right, I ran down to the park gates where I saw Botcho and Two dogs prowling behind the fence like a couple of zoo animals. Deciding that they were big and ugly enough to get out by themselves, I ran on towards the coast.

As I reached Benowa road, knowing full well I would have to turn right to get back over the bridge, I saw that the semi non existent trail indicated straight on.

Honouring the wishes of the hare, I ran on until meeting up with Flasher, who, yet again, tried to tell me he had been on the trail all night. Does he live in a constantly deluded state?

Informing me that the trail died up ahead, he ran back towards Benowa Road, but U turned after a small guilt trip seeing me refusing to capitulate. The final leg was essentially a small circuit intended to increase the length of the run and it indicated Croc’s name for the redemption of a prize.

Rather unsurprisingly the way home was by way of the bridge and actually had some markings. Overall not a bad length, shame about the gate climb which put off most and the markings sucked like Devine Brown.

Shock horror, every f#cker was back and drinking by the time Flasher and I crossed the threshold, every single one of them had completed the whole trail. Right.

Dips were served in a platter with cremated toast and chips. They appeared homemade and were delicious, not some sloppy sh%t from an Aldi carton. They reminded me of the days when Jigsaw used to provide dips as Boozemaster, you remember, the nights when running out of booze was never an option.

How would you describe the mains? No idea. The pasta and salad were recognizable enough but the meaty thing in creamy sauce? Despite the look of the thing, the taste buds proved the eyes as liars.

Dessert was a large selection of petit fours with custard and ice cream.

Those not suffering diabetic shock due to the sugar content of the dessert, paid attention as the GM called circle.

Bent Banana expressed his surprise and disappointment that not a singular nomination had been made for the upcoming hierarchy.

DD’s immediately to Ferret and Miscarriage, both of whom appeared to shit themselves in unison. Circumference inquired if I had ‘got wind of that’ fortunately not.

Of the trail Miscarriage (or was it Botcho) said ‘never on trail, doing no-no run, helped over a fence, chasing lights in the distance’. Two Dogs added ‘ fairly tame, woop woop, gates locked, Botcho cut to ribbons, no trail, no trail’. Miscarriage rather surreally ended with ‘one in all in’ ??? 3.5/10

Paul (a visitor) and friend of Blue card (so he does have one over the age of 12) said the walk was ‘very good’ but really what would he know?

Moonbeams said of the food ‘What was it? Salmon, chicken, rabbit (couple of black swans missing from the lake – GM) quite tasty, middle of the range 8/10.
Since when was 8 the middle of 10? None the less, Kitchen Bitch rightly pointed out that Jigsaw’s sister-in-law would be proud of that.

“Prizes” of Gossips wine were handed out to Caustic Crusader (not sure why) and Rectum, I think mine was mislaid in the swimming pool, where, if any of the salty chlorinated water has got into the bottle, the wine would have been improved immeasurably.

Anyone experiencing a distinct seafood flavour to KB’s eggs this week, will not be charged extra, its due to the left overs from Wednesdays pre-lube.

Visitor – Paul, Returner – Pile Driver, DD to both and Blue Card who managed to forget how the DD song starts. God help him with the national anthem.

Mention was made of Sir Prince Valiant who was here for the very first run 35 years ago which just goes to show how much he needs a life.

Circumference began the RA’s session keeping Sir Prince in the circle and dished him a DD for falling over for no apparent reason. (see its not just Rock Hard who’s losing it) Sir Prince told us about Saturday mornings run where Botcho and Flasher acted as a tag team on some couple (didn’t catch the names) Botcho assaulting the husband whilst Flasher assaulted the wife as though he was a long lost uncle. No change there then.

DD to Moonbeams for a devious plot to obtain free booze at last weeks run with an RSL voucher and Show Pony for a distinct lack of subtlety when emailing Missing Link.

News of Latrine – at Brissy Nash Hash, commented ‘plenty of piss (rehab in the offing), good runs but served sandwiches, yogurt and an apple as nosh.

POW – Shat called out Miscarriage for causing Botcho to hurt his hand on the trail, Sir Prince Valiant for cheating on Saturday mornings run, culminating in a fall and a trip to accident and emergency. Miscarriage was deemed to be the common denominating factor and was handed the prick. He then took the longest time on record to skull the yard.

DD to Blackie for the most flamboyant of swan dives on trail and congratulations also due to his making the world triathlon event next year.

Next weeks run – Sewerage memorial run at Nerang

The GM was quizzed over the trailer debacle at the pre lube and informed us of Iceman as temporary GM next week, this prompted the question “will we get chairs like the voice”

DD to Show Pony for an infected ear piercing, which was swallowed to the cries of ‘Gay old C*nt”.

Circle ended by Moonbeams.

Thanks to Jigsaw for having us at his house and reminding us what gourmet dips are.

On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.

Run 1852

Date    :           30th April 2013

Hare    :           Circumference and Now Loved – trail

Sir Prince Valiant and Kitchen Bitch – food

Venue :           Brisbane Nash Hash prelube at Elephant Rock, Currumbin

Runners         40ish

Weeks to a bloody good piss-up – 3.

After a drive of epic proportions I arrived at the venue to find a respectable number of hashers (both locals and visitors alike) gathered close to Elephant rock with the beautiful gold coast lights twinkling to the north of us.

Kitchen Bitch had firmly ensconced his position next to Sir Prince alongside our Trailer and both were hard at it, preparing the nosh.

Bent Banana welcomed one and all before leaving us to our hares for the evening, Now Loved and Circumference. We were sent on our way south running parallel to the shoreline with arrows, which seemed to be getting progressively further apart.

Checks regularly cropped up on the route, the second of which lead us up a seemingly endless set of stairs. We were sent left towards the wildlife sanctuary and left again back to the waterfront where the final check caught a few of us out, everyone else headed inland and began a climb which looked as though it would never end.

Once over the brow it was a short jog down hill to find we were back at our point of origin.

The food was well on its way, despite the large number, the cooks were coping more than adequately.

Subs paid and free drinks vouchers received, the conversations between old mates continued until food was served.

Surprisingly no starters, with the mains consisting of a mixed salad, bread buns, steaks, beetroot and onions. A tasty steak sanger so good a second had to follow.

Thanks to Sir Rabbit for hand picking the meat.

Dessert in the form of ice cream, cream and fruit salad followed and once polished off, the circle was called.

The hares were brought out for down downs and a selection of the visitors likewise. It looked like a badge collecting convention.

A speed drinking competition was introduced by the GM with several of the visiting competitors being nobbled with baby feeders.

Charges were asked for which lead to DD’s for the GM due to poor route instructions and Black Stump for cocking up the combined hash phone help line.

POW Rectum had little to say, citing KB for almost over cooking the steaks, Blackie for walking into the hash trailer but selecting Shat for his stylish bike fall last Thursday.

The GM asked several for speed charges (30 seconds or the DD was for them) and most were able to trump up a charge at short notice.

No one knew where next weeks run is, including the trail master.

Nash Hash prelube tonight at Pizzy Park, kick off at 4.30 but YOU MUST BE THERE TO REGISTER BEFORE 6PM. Cost is $30 and about 80 attendees expected.

Three jokes by (? Seen him before, but no idea of his name) all of a high standard and with great delivery. Iceman I hope you were taking notes.

End of circle by the one and only Moonbeams.

A big thanks to Circumference, Now Loved, Sir Rabbit and especially to Kitchen Bitch and Sir Prince Valliant for helping to make the night a success.

Apologies for the brevity but not a lot happened, I wanted to get this out for before tonight’s event and …………….I didn’t make any notes.

On On

Rectum

Hang On a Sec

Don’t believe a word of it.

Congratulations to Sir Prince Valiant who celebrates his 35th  anniversary with Gold Coast Hash House harriers1/5/13. This dedicated Hash Man was on the very first run.

 

Run 1851

Date    :           22nd April 2013

Hare    :           Caustic and Iceman

Venue :           Reedy Creek

Runners         30ish

Weeks to the new hierachy – 4, be afraid, be very afraid.

Lots of men came to the run. It was a good run in the bush. The food was nice and the circle was fun. Josephine you can stop reading now. Anyone with an intelligence quotient of more than 15 please read on (apologies a handful of you are excluded).

Seriously though, adult illiteracy is a big problem in Queensland, so we should support him. If you need help you can ring 07-844258922 or 07-T-H-I-C-K-T-W-A-T.

Finally the arrival of the long awaited Gold Coast ‘Brigadoon’ or the ‘Reedy Creek Classic’. Who knew what to expect, if the hype was to be believed then we were in for a treat of immense proportions (well according to the gospel of St. Caustic anyway).

Arrival at the venue showed a perfect picture postcard view of the Goldie from an elevated vantage point. Privacy looked to be assured as development of our cul-de-sac had yet to start and the only nearby dwelling was unoccupied. It was easy to tell we were down south by the sound of the melting polar icecap and by the fact that VD and Sir AH had made an appearance. Strangely though it was a no-show by the Bitch.

Chairs and tables were set up and the brazier stoked and ready. Some questioned the quantity of piled firewood as the athletes warmed up for the main event.

Our Hare Caustic explained the continually changing hash rules and markings and set us on our way. The walkers were each charged with bringing a log back for the fire.

The trail lead from a path onto a dirt track at which point we were on flour, undulating was one way to describe it, f*cking hilly was another. The trail was well marked with a multitude of checks and demanding to say the least, especially the numerous rocks with the potential for ankle breaking.

It essentially looped clockwise before entering a small quantity of bush and emerging very close to the point of departure. Very little was experienced in the way of tarmac, especially if  you were one of the front-runners who cut the last corner.

6.33 km according to my phone app and about 55 mins worth of a proper hash trail in the middle of nowhere. The only minor criticism was the lack of a re-group.

A commendable performance at the front by Truck Tyres, also of note was Flasher not short cutting and putting up his hand for most of the checks and lastly……..Cum Smoke who ran the whole thing. No seriously, he ran the whole thing. Okay, he says he ran the whole thing.

Once back, it was evident that some of the walkers had raided a building site evidenced by the pile of treated pine alongside the Brazier. The smarter among us, took up a position upwind to avoid the poisonous fumes.

Iceman our food hare looked decidedly out of his comfort zone and explained he had a troublesome day. Maybe he was worried that the food would not meet the standard of the run.

The old faithful of starters – dipping chips and dips were fine, but the mains?

WOW is how I would start, Basmati rice light and fluffy – perfectly cooked – was the best I have had on a run and the chicken curry likewise. The chicken didn’t just fall off the bone but it melted on the tongue, delicious heat and just enough sauce. Ideal for the time of year.

Hand made ice-creams (shame about the budget vanilla) were lifted with the addition of fresh strawberries and mock-o-late sauce. Nice job. Clearly a conspiracy for run and nosh of the year.

The inaugural meeting of the Gold Coast knitting circle took place during the food, Cum Smoke, Sir Ah and Truck Tyres all swapped recipes and cooking tips to commemorate the purchase of Cum Smoke’s new Slow cooker (seems appropriate somehow).

Bent Banana called the circle to bear and invited out Caustic and Iceman. Iceman took time to give us a little history lesson, apparently Hitler conceded to Henry VIII this day in 1509.

 

The GM extolled the virtues of the venue – ‘great spot, new place, spent ages finding it’

Flasher was asked to critique the run – ‘pretty damn good, not enough hills or rocks, very good’

Of the walk, Ferret described his near heart arrhythmia due to a particularly large spider combined with a Sir Prince Valliant practical joke and complimented the new territory.

Rug said of the food – ‘Excellent, wonderful, I really enjoy swallowing whole chicken bones (some alleged it as Ibis) a good 8/10 which Moonbeams explained was better than a bad 8/10.

DD’s to two of our elder statesmen Moonbeams and Flasher, a Hashy birthday to both. Flasher revealed his birthday pressy from Mme Lash as a ticket to Iron Man 3D, Two Dogs suggested it was for a cinema in Darwin and came with a one-way plane ticket. Personally I didn’t agree, if I wanted rid of him, Darwin would not be far enough.

Returner –

Arse Up (who has lost 10kg on the HIV diet) – been to the Nash Hash in the Philippines where he met up with BB, Armpit, Testicles, Pit Stop and others.

Pressy for the GM, a flammable toothbrush kit.

The RA entered the circle by enquiring who had collected the wood as most appeared to be sat on their arses drinking the Hash out of piss. DD’s to VD, Shat and Sir AH all of whom did actually collect wood whilst drinking their own piss, never let the truth get in the way of a good charge. A poor joke ensued which was overlooked after Ferret entertained us with an amusing ethnic offering.

Sir Slab presented the GM with  $3 note which sounds to be worth exponentially more to those living in Cuba.

DD offered to Cum Smoke for almost yodeling on the trail, Sir Rabbit suggested

Using the trumpet, should mouth to mouth be required. DD to Hard On for standing in for kitchen Bitch and Caustic for bagging the Hash Trash.

DD to Now Loved for destruction of Hash property (a chair) to cries of you fat B#st#rd. Cum Smoke established a Now Loved spiraling crime pattern, first car door handles now outdoor furniture, where will it end.

POW Josephine confirmed he is a simple-minded man who was unable to come up with anything so he gave the Prick to Rectum, (with only 28 sleeps until the AGPU). Indicative of this year’s hierarchy, Rectum accepted the award without claiming a committee exemption nor substituting a proxy.

LAST REMINDER – the bike ride is tomorrow (Thurs) at Pizzy Park, Miami, near to the tennis courts. There are two choices, a 10km one for the mentally and physically handicapped, shirt lifters and pedophiles, alternatively if you still own a set and regularly produce testosterone there is 19.3km for the men.

DON’T FORGET – NASH HASH NEXT WEEK SO OUR RUN IS ON TUESDAY.

There will be a Monday run at the Border Hash but it is very close to Cockroaches territory. Also a prelube on Wednesday

If you are unsure, ask somebody who cares, clearly not our hash then, or look at the web.

End of circle almost by Jospehine who unwisely attempted to tread on the toes of Moonbeams.

Thanks to Caustic and Iceman, well worth the journey down and nice to see our excellent trailer being put to good use.

On On

Rectum

Hang On a Sec

Don’t believe a word of it.