Run 1859
Date : 17th June.2013
Hare : VD
Venue : Robina
Runners : 25
The Week That Was!
The GM back from the casino in Sydney with the remainder of the Hash Stash once again wasn’t sure what the number of the run was, hopefully he will sort it out by the end of the year.

He asked Blackie for a report on the run and Blackie said it was all good but he found himself lost on Christine Avenue at one stage.

Of the 26 Hashers on the night, about 12 were walkers who were given once again no instructions just told to take a walk and come back. A few others stayed back to protect the kitchen while the rest went running. Rectum once again the first back to the beer esky’s although it was noted he headed for the ginger beer.

Pile driver was asked to give the Hare VD a score on the Nosh and he came up with a generous 8 for sausages entrée, the chicken schnitzel burgers and salad and the carefully crafted homemade tarts from Woolworths.

Crocodile threw some illumination as to the portion control on the sausages. When he suggested to VD during the cooking that there were not enough sausages to go around, VD replied when I cut them into 3 there will be plenty to go around. An act of loaves and fishes of a biblical proportion! Apparently the sausages used for the entree were a real bargain as the expiry date was midnight Monday 17 June 2013 and much to Blackies delight VD got a great price from Woolworths.

Carefree was called out as a returning runner having been missing for 9 months in Sydney. He said he was trying to work out which one was the best club out of Sydney and the Gold Coast and was confused whether he should have his hat on or off in the circle. No doubt if Alzheimer’s doesn’t strike he will remember that the Gold Coast Hash is the best and it is hats off in the circle.

For some unknown reason Rabbit then produced a special bottle of red (empty) from 1988 and returned it to Sir Prince with calls from the crowd “give it to Pizza to refill the bottle”.

The Scribe is under strict instructions from the previous year’s Hon Sec to mention Flasher every week no matter what. It was reported that Flasher was absent doing an interview with Channel 7 as a promo documentary for his new drug sniffing, privacy invading machine to be installed in rental properties. Some commented “I hope his interview goes longer than his appearance on Who Wants to be a Millionaire”.

Next up Crocodile and Pile Driver who had been selected by the GM to give a special report on the State of Origin. Although the SOI was some 2 weeks ago, it was the GM’s first appearance since the game and he asked for the boys to give a special report.

Crocodile prattled on about having done some research on the game and the State of Origin which he really knew nothing about. He said he was confused by commentators referring to Gallons and Miles when Australian had been on the metric system since 1966 and the commentator should be referring to litres and kilometres? He then couldn’t work out if it was supposed to be Qld born players playing NSW born players. How could players with names like Kickerwangerwocker and Kangawockerfifi made up half the teams. From his observations half the players were imported from elsewhere. To be further reinforced with the names of cockroaches and cane toads as cane toads were an introduced species. Pile Driver then gave a much shorter report on the SOI and said just after kickoff he went to sleep and woke 2 minutes before the end and didn’t really have much to say.

Botcho was then questioned as to whether he didn’t run or walk because he had man flu however advised that he stayed back to supervise VD and his bitch in the kitchen. Botcho reported that there was a real tantrum between the bitch and VD as they argued who was in control of the spatula.

Sir Prince said he had run into Moonbeams who said he wasn’t coming back to a run in winter time until there was a pub run because it was too bloody cold.

Truck Tires scored a Down Down for being the last (other than a hierarchy member) to pay on the night. When asked where he had been for the last few weeks he reported that he had been kayaking and biking around SE Queensland and Northern NSW and had been quite busy. At that point Shat asked “Any Sex?”

Next the POW, Show Pony appeared at the centre of the circle and quickly advised there was only one suspect and he was going to award it quickly and called out Blue Card AKA yours truly in retaliation for having been given it last week contrary to the rules that it should not be given to a hierarchy member. This led to a loud protest from Blue Card that a line had to be drawn in the sand and fair was fair. On 2 counts, first you can’t give it to the person who gave it to you the previous week, and the golden rule about not giving it to a hierarchy member should be reinstated. The GM full of equity and compassion quickly stepped forward advising the only rule was that there are no rules however then he made a rule and said it could not be given to the hierarchy and it could not be given to the person who presented it last week. Blue Card feels we have an excellent and balanced GM this year.

The next choice for POW was Carefree as he had been back on the Gold Coast from Sydney for 3 months and had not yet made an appearance at the Gold Coast Hash and therefore scored the award for the week.

Bent Banana then gave Phantom a DD for what he termed the Norman Gunston Award. Phantom was sporting a few plasters on his face from some recent botox.

Next week’s run is to be set by Bent Banana and will be at Emerald Lakes next to the Michael Angelo statue and the scribe is under strict instructions from Crocodile to mention that it will be a pub run and that we expect to see Moonbeams next week!

Blue Card

Blue Card Joke For The Week

SOME JUST KNOW HOW TO GET THINGS DONE!!!

JUST CHECK THE TIMING

These pictures are said to have been taken by a Hash?guy from Grande Cache,
Alberta, by the Berland River on Highway 40.
Take a look at the time frame in the bottom right-hand
corner of each picture…

It took him just ten minutes to pick her up,
take her to dinner, feed her a terrific
meal and then get laid.
Is this guy good or what?

Run 1858
Date : 10th June.2013
Hare : Rug
Venue : Arundel
Runners : 18

The Week That Was!
About 18 hardy Hashers turned up for the run braving the wet weather. It seems the others preferred to sit at home and vegetate with their ugg boots on watching TV.
The beer supplies had to be forded across the creek to the rotunda in the park. Rectum came to the rescue with a bailey bridge to help with fording the creek. Kwakka, Blue Card and Botcho kindly agreed to forego exercise and guard the beer supplies.

10 runners set off and 3 walkers wandered off into the gloom and had no idea where they were going.
Sir Prince turned up late having driven around the park and Allied Drive for 15 minutes trying to find the start of the run.
After starting off late Sir Prince caught up with Swindler, still walking after 700m and when asked which way to go. Swindler pointed 180 degrees in the wrong direction and said “well the rotunda is that way”.
In the absence of the GM who has now been missing for 50% of the meetings this year, the Acting GM Miscarriage took centre stage at the circle. He advised that he noticed everybody was getting on in years and was concerned about Alzheimer’s setting in and one way to counteract that was to shake things up and do things in a different way.
Staying with that theme he then started the circle with the POW which left Blue Card floundering a bit as he was planning on 15 minutes of the circle to find a few possible contenders.
Blue Card called out a few shortlisted suspects for the POW – Swindler for failing 2 weeks in a row to honour the tradition of a carton of crownies for his birthday, Flasher for being reported in a half page article in the Gold Coast Bulletin for his new invention which sniffs out drugs and all sorts of questionable odours and smells in a rental property. But the award was finally given by a close margin to Show Pony, who was the neighbour of a house boat in which the elderly gentlemen had been murdered 18 months ago and apparently his body has turned up under Show Pony’s houseboat. There is now some reason why he has been catching more mud crabs than anybody else in the marina. Good to see they have a close knit community where they all look after each other.
The RA/Acting GM had previously advised by email that he would be selecting at random an acting RA as he was the Acting GM. He then proceeded to repeat what was about to happen, that we should all be mentally prepared. He then selected Swindler as the Acting RA and Swindler obviously in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, thought that he had been elected as Acting GM and went on some kind of a manic rant until it was pointed out to him that no such important task would ever be entrusted to him and he was the Acting RA.
Swindler then selected a couple of people for Down Downs – including one to Kwakka for being on last year’s hierarchy and coming back for a second term – no shame, and Link for being one of the “Wednesday Wankers” in the lycra bike riding outfits. He reportedly, has now applied to be in the Wednesday Warriors who ride at a more sedate pace on hybrid bikes rather than those high end carbon fibre missiles.
Apparently the entry to the Wednesday Warriors is to sing a war cry in the middle of the coffee shop after a ride.
Sir Prince brought a charge from the floor. He arrived late, couldn’t find the place. He called Sir Rabbit’s phone to get the address. Couldn’t get a hold of him so sent a text to Rugs number, no answer telephoned Veteran and was told to call Blackstump. After calling Blackstump who was in 1770 he said to try Circumference who didn’t answer the phone. So he only thought it fair that Circumference get a Down Down as he was responsible for the online next run announcement which apparently was not working properly.
Sir Prince then regaled us with a tale relating to his position as a board member of the Anglican All Saints School. Apparently one of the parents, aka Miscarriage, had written a long letter as to why his daughter should be released a week early from school so that she could go to Cambodia with the family. Apparently our Acting GM had planned his holiday based on last year’s school calendar!
It then transpired that there would be an unofficial meeting of Gold Coast Hashmen in Camdodia, all being there at the same time – Miscarriage, Rug, Swindler, Flasher and Slug. More Down Downs!
Iceman gave a report on the run, said it was a good run but a few of the marks had been washed out although Rug the Hare said he had re-layed it several times during the day. He was scored a 7.5.
Kwakka gave a report on the Nosh and quite rightly gave it a score of fantastic. Started with the prawn and avocado with a slice of lemon in a half avocado shell followed with by a Yorkshire pudding and beef stew or for the more sophisticated beef bourguignon and then homemade pear crumble with a decadent rich chocolate sauce. He scored an 8.5 and is the leading contender for the “Nosh of the Year”.
Next week’s run will no doubt be somewhere.
Blue Card

……………..Blue Card On Marriage…………….Love is Blind
This guy is Alvaro Alfonso de Miranda Neto:

He was married to — this woman.

Her name is Cibele Dorsa.
She is a Brazilian swimsuit, Victoria ‘s Secret, and Playboy model.

He divorced her because he fell in love with this woman:

These two are very happily married right now.

Some people argue that love is blind.

This story clearly proves it…

It proves that men are capable of real love; truly seeing
a personal inner beauty, not basing their decisions
solely on looks.

Oh, by the way…
the new girl is Athina Onassis.

She is worth 12 billion dollars.

Kinda brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it?

August 1978 GC HHH FIRST OVERSEAS TRIP, to Port Moresby’s 250th run
‘Maurie “ First Hill Tanner “ changing local baby

First Hill losing pants with Kwakka on right hand side

Sir Prince AND First Hill with locals

left to right: SIR PRINCE VALIANT,WEEKLY JOHN DALEY, ALLUSIVE ALLUSION TERRY MORROW FOUNDING GM, GREG MASON, PORTNOYS COMPAINT,KWAKKA WAYNE NOLAN

Run 1857
Date    :    3rd June.2013
Hare    :    Missing Link
Venue    :   Broadbeach
Runners : 26

The Week That Was!
The Splinter Lunch at the Latin Quarter, Broadbeach proved to be the normal circus. Organised by Swindler and Nasty jointly, although rumour has it Swindler did all the work, having to have a practice run the Friday before with a few other desperates while Nasty was busy attending to the Nasty Party who have registered to make a run at the next election. Apparently Tom Waterhouse is giving very long odds for anyone wanting to back the Nasty Party.
A crowd of about 20 included the appearance of Fucks Off, the past business partner of Hard On . There was discussion of giving him a new name Period as he only regularly turns up once a month.
The Ex GM BB apparently enjoyed himself as he did not return home Friday night and was discovered sleeping in the hedge in the front yard of his daughters house at 9am Saturday morning. Also worthy of a mention, the 2 desparates below who arrived home at 9.30pm after doing a pub crawl from Broadbeach to Chevron Island. They thought they would quietly enter the residence of Kwakka for a last drink!

On to the run last Monday night at the park on Bermuda St (Cnr Fremar St), Broadbeach Waters. About 26 hardy souls with 8 gentlemen walkers and 18 runners. Link advised that the walkers could go whichever way they felt like and the runners should go off and follow the clearly marked trail.
The new GM Now Loved headed up the circle and was well prepared with a lot of briefing notes. Although having well prepared notes he welcomed everyone to run number?? and then didn’t know the number. Good start!
So as to alienate the old hierarchy he called them out for a Down Down but there were complaints “they should be iced”.
The Hare, Link was called out. Flasher awarded him 7 out of 10 for the best run of the year while Two Dogs gave him 1.5 out of 10 for the worst run of the year. So being a fair crowd they averaged and awarded 4.25 on the voices.
Pile Driver was asked to comment on the meal and said it was good but gave a less than generous score of 5. Nasty giving a second opinion said the entrée was very light as was the dessert, however gave top marks to the beef curry with a large array of condiments and side dishes.
A few returners this week, Nasty is going to Christmas Island to give a quote to install the saunas and gymnasiums for the boat people. Head Job has just returned from working on the island and gave a long discourse about working on the island but really said nothing. He did own up to getting lost on a Hash run on Christmas Island not withstanding he had a large Hash cow bell around his neck. He said if you turn left instead of turning right even on a little island you can get lost.
Next it was the new RA, Miscarriage to take the stage and although he is a shy and retiring type he managed to entertain the troops with gusto.
All Sir’s got a Down Down out of respect for Sir Rabbit who was not in attendance. Show Pony managed to have his new Hash shorts on backwards. As a sign of total disrespect the RA called out the new GM for a Down Down for a recent frontal lobotomy operation to dull down his mental capacity so that he could continue in the fine tradition of a GM. Dangerous stuff!
Flasher was awarded the trophy for ‘Worst Nosh Of The Year’ last year as a temporary stand in and second place getter for the winner, Pizza, who was not in attendance.
Sir Slab presented an expensive set of free road maps and brochures that he had collected on his trip as a special gift to the new GM.
And just to prove that no good turn goes unpunished, yours truly the Hon Sec after providing a box of crownies as a birthday boy was given 2 Down Downs during the night and the POW for absolutely no good reason. So much for the suggestion from the new GM that the hierarchy does not get given Down Downs or the POW…yeah right! See you next week.
Blue Card
………………………………………
POVERTY IN AMERICA…….
Will Australia fall into decline also?

Run 1856
Date : 27th May 2013
Hare : Committee AGPU
Venue : Bruce Bishop car park, Watermark bar and Darcy Arms
Runners A good 40

Weeks to being back on the committee – 208

Boy I have waited for this for some time. It was worth the wait.

A five o’clock start heralded the commencement of the final run of the 2012-2013 committee. Arriving a tad late Caustic, Cum Smoke and myself observed a very healthy turn out partaking in the obligatory nibbles and quality beers. As a member of the outgoing committee it was fabulous to see the fake smiles plastered over some very worried faces. Even better than that was the look of complete certainty exhibited by several, convinced within their own minds, that they would not be required to perform next year. Yeah right.

VD questioned if the email sent out by Croc earlier in the week was correct or not whilst attempting to convince himself that no one would select a committee member who would be away for the next six months. Don’t believe it, you were remarkably close to selection.

Living on the promise of a warm fleece for my run achievements I stood and shivered as Sir Rabbit explained that would occur later.

After much backslapping and self congratulations (gee we are a humble lot) the next stage of our journey was contemplated then delayed as we awaited the arrival of Sir Prince Valliant and Miscarriage. The former arrived and we departed, the latter arrived minutes after our leaving, checked in the Irish pubs and, as he left his mobile at work, ended up with a fish and chips supper for one.

The rest of us ambled to Watermark for a single beer, which once consumed instigated the cries of “more beer”, not wearing the extra cost Blackie quickly shut the bar down and we were ushered to our final destination – The Darcy Arms or ‘the head office’ as several of our fold fondly refer to it.

Half of us dived to the bar for either Guinness or Kilkenny the rest hit the tables for a variety of good quality reds. The committee smugly sat at the ‘top table’ clearly happy with the overwhelming acceptance of the venue and booze, by the pack. For the last time, You’re Welcome.

Montana assisted in the presentation of some quality shorts with an innovative approach to handing them out.

A tasty bruschetta was served and the awards commenced whilst we awaited the delivery of the mains.

Worst run – Cum Smoke at Broady (the try to avoid, map debarcle), runners up Latrine (bus run) and Caustic (the no run wash out).

Best run – Josephine (parkwood at its best), runners up Truck Tyres (Burleigh boardwalks) Botcho (Helensvale bush).

Worst Food – Pizza (hot plate pantry surprise), runners up Swollen Colon (gruel and mushy pasta) Flasher (Helensvale food with the flavour removed).

Best Food – Kitchen Bitch (roast lamb at its best), runners up Truck Tyres (noodle soup) Botcho (all his food is good).

On reviewing the runs and food it was genuinely difficult to find three poor runs and food, the standard this year has been excellent, especially the food; which on many occasions has bettered that served on splinter lunches by professional caterers.

Most number of runs – Sir Rabbit (you really need a life)

Best committeeman – Rectum (try-hard).

By now some seriously HUGE steaks served with chips and salad had arrived on the scene so it was hard to maintain anyone’s attention. The fighting irons (knives and forks to you non northerners) were picked up and the delicious sauces were poured. Quiet resumed.

You know the steaks are big when a large number of plates were collected by the waitresses, still loaded with food.

The awards continued –

Prick of the Year was a complete walk over for a thousand reasons; runners up were not required as Flasher hoisted the honour. Well deserved.

Those responsible for milestones were recognized with long sleeved fleeces (bit late I was roasting hot by then).

1500 – Sir Rabbit
1300 – Sir Slab
800 – Josephine
500 – Flasher
200 – Crocodile
200 – Cum Smoke
100 – Rectum
100 – Veteran
100 – Shat

Finally the best bit arrived with the selection of the new committee

Trail Master – Ferret (seemed very excited)
Booze Masters – Show Pony (usual bemused expression)
Iceman (worried expression)
Hash Cash – Black Stump (volunteered 2nd term)
Hash Flash – Kwakka (volunteered 2nd term)
RA – Miscarriage (lost in Surfers)
On Sec – Blue Card (utter disbelief)
GM – Now Loved (in denial)

The new committee were welcomed in and the old, told to piss off.

Good luck to you all, I hope you enjoy it as much as we have this year.

Thanks to all those who put in the effort to attend, run, cook, assist with the cooking, set a trail, tell a joke or contribute in some way or another.

On On

Rectum
Ex On a Sec on behalf of Blue Card (still recovering from the shock)
Another tissue of lies.