A pleasant sunny winter’s afternoon encouraged hashers to the July 2013 Splinter lunch.
The Royal Peacock on Tedder Avenue was the venue for the lunch. Enough punters for a rugby team were about the numbers. Some dressed up like they were going to somewhere after the lunch especially Truck Tyres looking rather dapper in his white sports jacket.
Carefree joined us on his way home from the cricket at Lords and visiting Prince George and Mum at the Lindo Wing while in the UK.
The first beer of many consumed on the day was from the Burleigh Brewing Company.
After entree papperdams, mains were ordered and naan bread and condiments soon were scattered across the tables in the shade of bottles of wine.
Lots of musical chairs took place as the diners circulated themselves socially during the afternoon. Kitchen Bitch wore a chef’s cap which would not have looked out of place on My Kitchen Rules.
Rug showed his future hash cash economic skills (if and when Blackie ever retires) by collecting more cash then the numbers present for the next big Lotto.
A bar across the road was suggested for after lunch drinks where Cooper’s ales were enjoyed by all. Hashers then made their own plans for the remainder of the afternoon.
Botcho organised travel arrangements for some which was greatly appreciated.
From there on, it was all downhill for Sir Rabbit and Circumference who went to their own after party firstly at Tonic on Chirn for more craft beers and then to Bonus Bros for a Moroccan pizza which after a tandoori lunch made next morning very interersting especially on top of aching heads.
RUN 1865
Date :29/7/2013
Location: Helensvale
HARE: Botcho
Runners: 29
Once again we were honoured with an appearance by Cum Smoke. Good to see he brought his mate Big Unit! The Big Unit chatting with Flasher…. I heard the BU complaining about a pain in the neck. No not Flasher just cause and effect from chatting with Flasher.Sorry Flasher but I am under strict instructions from Rectum to give you a special mention every week.
8 walkers and 18 runners hit the trail this week.In the absence of the GM the RA took on the self appointed joint role of GM/RA and called the circle in the Helensvale Tavern car park before dinner.
Flasher said it was a good run until he got lost. Iceman gave him instructions to follow him…. Big mistake. Botcho told a shaggy dog story about being chased by a dog while setting the run. There seemed to no real score but Ferret mumbled to the On Sec give him 4.77.
A DD to Josephine, Caustic and KB for email spam about a certain round ball match in Melbourne.
A minutes silence for Useless a past Hasher in the club who passed away recently. Ferret reported that Useless introduced him to Hash in Singapore where a week later Ferret met his future wife and Useless was best man at his wedding.
RETURNERS
The athletes returning from a Peptide fuelled bike ride in the Phillipines were front and centre.
Ferret as the oldest took 1 for the team and got the DD.
Shat when asked to report on the trip said everybody behaved and they inspected a lot of Catholic Churches. Yeah right!
Sir Prince was awarded the “Plastic Plucked Chicken” to take to Myanmar as the stand in “Yellow Jersey”
Ferret called out Flasher for being a media tart for having his photo on the cover of the Hash Magazine.
Everybody then adjourned to the Tavern, selected a special person for a 2 for 1 meal to the delight of Moonbeams but the despair of Hash Cash.
That’s it for this week see you all next week.
PS Keep the emails about “Hash Shit” or bear the consequences in the circle!!
Blue Cards Lesson For The Week
Short Lesson On Towel Heads…
In these troubled times, it has become very difficult to distinguish the good towel-heads from the bad towel heads. Just where are the moderate Muslims, anyway? Do they actually exist?
The following is provided, to help you distinguish between a BAD “towel-head” and a GOOD “towel-head.” You must study the pictures carefully so that you will not confuse the two in a moment of indecision … It could save your life! This is a bad towel head
RUN 1864
Date :22/7/2013
Location: Pacific Pines
HARE: Circumference
Runners: 16
The weather was like a balmy English spring evening – drizzleing and miserable but the Hash Gods no doubt at one with the RA turned off the liquid sunshine for the time of the run.
6 walkers and 10 runners turned up for the usual Hash Mash.
The walkers walked and the runners ran!
Prior to the Nosh the constabulary turned up had a quick chat to a couple of hashers and soon left mumbling something about “old farts running in the rain”. The boys in blue were no doubt attracted by the fire in the brazier which Josephine insisted on lighting with some painted fence wood (2 weeks in a row).
The GM called up the circle between main course and dessert just to show he is not afraid to make drastic changes to protocol.
Hare – Circumference:
Flasher reported it as a good well marked run in a typical Flasher suck up and awarded 7.2 and an additional .5 of a point for the fire which had nothing to do with the hare.
Botcho provided a second opinion and in a Margaret and David “At the Movies” moment also gave it a 7.2.
Rug reported on the Nosh marinated chicken pieces and salad. Nothing better than a nice hot meal on a winter’s night, unfortunately this wasn’t it.
Score 6.8
Truck Tyres as a second opinion. The tinned beetroot and tinned pineapple was really good and the bread rolls weren’t too old.
Score 6.9
Jigsaw received a high commendation for being stand in boze master and providing excellent dips.
Returners
Flasher back from Cambodia after meeting up with Misscariage, Testacles and Slug presented the GM with a special stubbie holder.
DD’s
• Rectum for mentioning he wanted to go home to see the Test which had actually finished.
• Rug for being a suspect in leaving a used condom in the RA’s unit in Thailand
• KB under a cloud of suspicion for having taken peptides and performance enhancing drugs as he was spotted on the run running.
Charges
Rectum gave a DD to Croc for backing the Blues. Croc responded that he had tuned in to watch the second match, fell asleep and woke up to find the commentator talking about the Blues beating the Reds 57 to 42 but it finally dawned on him that they were talking about the other match – the second coming of Kevin Rudd.
POW
The GM on behalf of VD in his absence gave it back to VD in absentia.
Next Weeks Run
Botcho and Moonbeams. Nosh at the Helensvale tavern with 2 for 1 meals organised. Choose your “special friend” early in the night.
See you next week.
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Bluecard’s Joke Of The Week
Global Economics Explained Through E Cow Nomics
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
Republican Capitalism otherwise known as tea party economics a la : LEHMANN BROS, GOLDMAN SACHS, BEAR STERNS, CITIBANK ETC… CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. Forget about milking them.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive (not quite as nice as the good looking sheep though).
