Run 1877
Date:21/10/2013
Location: Burleigh Heads
Hare:Elvis
Runners:19

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

By 6 PM only 8 hashers were there. By 6.15 the numbers swelled to 16, a reasonable quorum,  and by the end of the Run there were 19. Not bad with so many away. We gathered in the bushfire-prone area beside Elvis’ mansion in West Burleigh where we received news of the Run and his plan to eat at a local Thai restaurant. Moonbeams who eats Thai food every day did not look too excited.

The Run: It was into the bush and up hill for a while, then after circling around the bush perimeter it was back into the bush, then over hill in the bush, followed by a big bush crossing, then eventually down a bush bike track to the tarmac of West Burleigh road. Rectum was way out in front (followed by Dogs) with his experience of bush bashing in Mt. Tamborine,  until we eventually came across an area of missing trail. Apart from this one stuff up, which I will record as interference by school kids, it was a clever and well marked trail with good use of bush.  After the bush sector it was up and over Heartbreak Hill opposite Fleays, with all runners back under the hour. Miscarriage put in a final good performance as he was no longer handicapped by the bush crossing without a torch. Silly bugger!  A quick beer out of the pony van then on to the nearby Talle Thai.

The Nosh: It reminded me of a wine and cheese tasting affair. You know, nibble, nibble, some liquid, more liquid, another nibble then its all over. The food was very tasty and extremely edible, but there clearly was not enough, with some memorable stuff ups by the owners. One rice bowl, consumed by 5 was supposed to service 19? Long delays between dishes and rather than several large servings of a limited variety, there were many small lots of many different varieties which didn’t seem to go anywhere. At our large  table end it was chicken, followed by chicken and then some more chicken, all in sample portions. But upsettingly the next tables of 3 and 4 had fish, prawns, soups  etc., but no rice and in small servings. Many left contemplating a Macca on the way home. Maybe we should have paid more and avoided being served a child’s meal, I don’t know!

The Circle:      Miscarriage was straight into it as usual , with DDs:

The 4 hungry bastards, Botcho, Blackie, KB and Rock Hard, for having a separate table and ordering additional food for their private party

Caustic Crusader, who was obviously caught out for likely short cutting the Indy run,  for which he claimed victory, yet struggled in near last tonight.

Shetland,  out of Show Pony, for being too competitive and forcing our beloved acting GM to within seconds from a heart attack, on a challenging run home.

Lee, out of Cambodia, loosing and missing the way (somewhere?).

Lurch and Lee, the stand ins for the original Twins Arnold and Danny.

POW:  The very popular choice of Rock Hard, beat 3 other contenders, for his passion for gluttony.

News: Lurch updated the group on Cumsmoke’s inappropriate and unsavoury recent activities, which this scribe will not put to pen. But needless to say completely in character with our absent one.

The Hash committee is feeling “Joe Hockey” stress in balancing the budget and while beer prices will remain $2 & $3, there should be no more “pub” runs until the Christmas Party. Furthermore, it was unanimously approved that financial measures should be introduced whereby the current overseas travellers should pay a penalty on their return, as they are not around to support the club when in need for the full year, yet they enjoy all the freebies throughout the year.

Splinter lunch at Lola’s, opposite the Bowls club in Broadbeach, with Moonbeams sponsoring the first round of beers.

Next weeks Run will be in the Paradise Point area, where Two Dogs has threatened Flatulence it must be, or else.

Circle closed by our living legend Moonbeams at 8:45 PM.

Great Run Elvis.

From Joke Master Cicumference

Do Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips?

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS**, **

BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO

CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED

A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN

MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN

AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?

It?s so easy to fool ole folks!!!

;

Run 1876
Date:14/10/2013
Location: Main Beach
Hare:Two Dogs
Runners:26

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

The Two Dogs Super V8 Hash Run

The handicapping was complete and a staggered start from outside the Southport Surf Club saw the hashers leaving in waves with the those still not at the stage of needing knee replacements out of the blocks last.

The hashers ran and walked between the Super Car barriers and the light rail construction site.

After most hashers had crossed the finishing line Truck Tyres was seen starting the run in the wrong direction. Go figure?

First order of business was an important announcement from Show Pony the Booze Master. He announced that there was a reversal of the decision by Swindler the acting Booze Master and all drinks were now $3. The Pony had spoken. This announcement was considered to be of much greater importance than the abolition of the Carbon Tax and was accepted with a lot of nodding and comments like “well done Pony” and “about f……… ng time”.

Show Pony having a good sense of diplomacy and politics failed to mention that the $3 beers were from Aldi and imported from obscure countries in South America.

The nosh was a hierarchy responsibility but the GM making a rare appearance had decided to impress by going for a solo production of ham burgers aka hash burgers. Butter for the bread roll? Sorry forgot but put on the mayonaise instead.

The GM called the circle to order. Two Dogs was called out to present the trophies.

First Prize went to Caustic who scored a backpack, cap and other valuable items.

Second Prize went to Rectum, on the edge of a complete emotional breakdown after being beaten by Caustic accepted with great humility a pair of binoculars. Very useful on Mt Tamborine for spying into the bedrooms of the Gold Coast.

Third Prize went to Veteran who was awarded a camel back water pack useful for ultra marathons in the Simpson Desert.

The walkers over achievers award went to Slug who received a bottle of red of doubtful quality. A walkers special mention went to Carefree who had left and gone home to watch 4 Corners. In his absence Blue Card was awarded a T Shirt advertising a local radio station. Two Dogs how do you get these rare and priceless items?

Latrine was back from a year in PNG building an ice cream factory. The worst year of his life capped off by the last manager who hated yanks. Welcome home Madam L.

Sir Blackstump was back with us after a successful but cold competition at the World Masters in England. 12th in the Run Swim Run event. Great effort!

Sir Prince was in trouble with the RA for always getting a DD and increasing the overheads of the booze master.

The POW awarded last week to Bent Banana could not find a suitable recipient as all the usual suspects would be away for 3 weeks in Myanmar and China. Bent Banana showing true leadership awarded the POW to himself. Where is Flasher when you need him?

Next weeks run by Lurch and Flatulence (maybe) to be held somewhere. Rest easy Ferrit has the Hare Line under control, well the jury’s out on that.

See you all in 3 weeks time when we get back from hash duty in  Myanmar. In my absence Bent Banana has kindly stepped up and will be the Hash Scribe.

HASH V8 Handicap 2013 – post race results

JOKE OF THE WEEK

The Blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that  location.

She responds ‘It’s really cool.

If you put your ear up against it, you can  smell the ocean.’

Run 1875
Date:7/10/2013
Location: Merrimac
Hare: Truck Tyres
Runners:29

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

About 28 hashers including 3 visitors turned up for the Truck Tyres Birthday Octoberfest Run.

The GM ingratiated himself early in the night by announcing there was a complimentary German beer for all.

Surprising for an all male hash there was a rather attractive blonde Frauline turn up for the Octoberfest Run. Rather attractive – not really, downright ugly is closer. She looked like a cross between Broome Hilde, Eva Braun and Kitchen Bitch. Go figure.

The run was different. The hare Truck Tyres turned up at 5.10 pm and on discovering the pack had already started on the run sad “Shit I haven’t finished setting the run” and took off like a scalded German cat.

The run was all over in about 35 minutes. Through St Michaels school, around the block, twice around the sports field and back to the Hash Trailer in the school ground.

Truckie was off to a questionable start on the Nosh when he had catered for only 20 with his German sausage and bread roll routine. In a last minute formation of a Plan B he took off only to return with some questionable chicken rolls. Not very October Fest. He redeemed himself with a tasty apple strudel flown in from the Black Forrest.

Lee, a visitor from the Hash in Cambodia when asked “Who made you come” replied Miscarriage.

Lurch got a DD as a returner with the only excuse for being AWOL was it looked like rain a few times.

Cum Smoke claimed he had been overseas to Cambodia and a few other places but the word on the street was that he had been married and has given up his addiction to porn.

The RA appeared in a white flowing robe more reminiscent of an Arab oil sheik than a German. A few charges from the RA..

• KB for ripping off fellow hashers with over priced free range eggs
• Mags from Brisbane put on the ice
• RA away last week because he was having the 60 minutes camera inserted where the sun don’t shine
• Sir Prince for not yet having the camera experience
• Flasher put on the Ice … He didn’t deserve that

Caustic Crusader gave away the POW to Bent Banana….. He didn’t deserve that.

The V8 Super Cars Run is being organised by Two Dogs. No doubt it will all be clear soon but I have no idea what is happening.

Next Weeks Run from the BBQ area near the Southport Surf Club.

END OF WORDS

JOKE OF THE WEEK
By Caustic Crusader

A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes…

The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”

He gets her name, address, tax file number, etc. and then asks,

“What’s your occupation?”

“I’m a prostitute,” she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, “Let’s try to rephrase that.”

The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.

“No, that still won’t work. Try again.”

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”

The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”

“Well, I raised 650 cocks last year.”

“Chicken Farmer it is.”

Run 1874
Date:30/09/2013
Location: Ormeau
Hare: Sir slab
Runners:21

A special run this week. A joint run with Brisbane Hash from the Shearers Arms Tavern at Ormeau.

About 50 hashers turned up and it soon became apparent that the average age of the Brisbane Hashers was similar to the Gold Coast Hash.

The runners ran and the walkers walked!

The Hare Sir Slab always at home in the saddle rode his bike as tail end Charlie to make sure nobody got too lost and ended up on the M1.

It was interesting to see some of our cost conscious hashers inquiring as to the drink prices at the Brisbane Hash Booze Bucket trying to get a cheaper price to the $3 drink price instituted recently by Swindler. Speaking of Swindler he was a no show. Not sure if he was afraid of a revolt or was out spending the super profit being generated on the booze.

The 2 GM’s circled everybody up.

What was an immediate shock to this scribe was the not 1 but 2 ice carvings placed in the centre of the circle. It didn’t take long before a miscreant from Brisbane Snappy Tom was called to sit on the ice carving which was a good representation of a huge ice phallus! The crowd had great pleasure in seeing him slide off and end up with gravel impregnated in his fundamental orifice.

Sir Prince in fine form as always reported after a hard Friday at his JOB turned up after the splinter hash last Friday at the Lansdowne Pub to find Kwakka in a particularly untidy shape. Not wanting to leave the Brisbane Hash out of the fun Sir P called out 2 of their members and our own Slug for being in a certain cathedral in Angeles City when Sir Prince and his fellow bike riders dropped in their recently.

Shat conspicuous by his absence got a special mention from the Brisbane Hash for bringing us into disrepute for failing to turn to a court appearance recently as reported ” Peter Foster – Arrested” for failing to turn up at court. See the full story

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5lyhdh4tvu13uv1/Peter%20Foster%20Arrested.pdf

After being told on the website to bring a plate, knife and fork we all headed in for a pub meal – come back Sir Blackstump the surplus is turning into a deficit.

Next week’s run an October Fest Run 5pm start from the German Club.

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

This weeks  Joke of The Week from Caustic Crusader….