Run: 1949

Date:9/03/2015

Location:Cararara

Hares: Jigsaw

Runners: 27

 

POW   Missing

Is this the Missing POW?

Man hands ‘penis’ into Surfers Paradise police station

A man has handed to police at Surfers Paradise what he claims to be a severed human penis. The man, who has not been identified but was wearing a Gold Coast Hash T-Shirt, delivered the alleged member to Surfers Paradise police station, on the Gold Coast, in a plastic bag this morning. He said that his neighbor’s dog found it at Bundall Road , which is about 1km north-west of Surfers Paradise “Police called the ambulance service who inspected the contents and agreed it appeared to be some form of hardened matter that could be a penis,” a police spokesman said today.

“But we are not positive and it is now being taken to a nearby medical facility to be inspected.” First we have to establish if it is human and if it is obviously the investigation will widen from there.” He said that the tissue appeared to have been recently severed. They are now investigating a highly credible report that the GCHHH has it POW missing.

Video of Jigsaw’s Run Instructions

 Video may not work in Firefox

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27 hashers once again waited for the run information from Jigsaw

As you can see from the video the explanation given is by a super-cool and confident Jigsaw. Did he suspect that this was to be the run of the year after his last abysmal attempt?

He gave directions “go that way” which was in the exact opposite direction as to what was expected.

The Run

The Runners were led out by 2 Dogs , Brewtus, Botcho and Bent Banana closely followed by the Walkers led by Shat , Blue Card and Kwakka. Once again it only seemed like only a few weeks ago we were at this location or were we?

The runners and walkers took off up the road with once again the On On called by Sir Rabbit on the Hash bugle.

First back was Sir Prince Valiant who needed a coldie after the long run. He reported that Iceman was missing somewhere on the trail.

Josephine reported it was a well-marked run with lots of chalk and a very good run. This is not what he actually said but we think that this was what he meant by saying “what was he thinking?”

2 Dogs as always providing highly accurate information advised that the run was total of 7.5Km in 54 minutes (a so called 7 minute mile??) and he did note that Flasher once again took a 4km short cut.

The detailed instructions and well-marked trail resulted in a total run success and not the usual Fu###@@ up.

Well done Jigsaw for excellent run in the local area where many runs have occurred. Bent Banana was heard to comment that he went down some interesting new tracks for the first time.

The Run Finish

Once again a tight finish with Brewtus, Bent Banana, Josephine, 2 Dogs, Ballpoint and Botcho in with the first group of returning runners. Due to the well-marked trail and good location no one was lost and within 60 minutes all runners were back to the trailer waiting for Jigsaw to return with post run snacks.

The Walkers

Blue Card supported by his Warrior mates Kwakka and Shat reported that it was an excellent walk and for the first time that a walk had been actually well marked. Once again Fuller-shit did the walk guided by Hard On and Weekly!

The European Nosh by Chef Jigsaw

At last week’s Italian nosh, Jigsaw decided to put in maximum effort to compete with Ex Mamma Mia Chef Kwakka who looked set to take the pole position for last week as Nosh of the Year.

As we can see from the happy look on Miscarriage’s face as he devoured the pre-nosh snacks this was shaping up to be a first class Nosh.

Jigsaw advised that a large amount of pre hash food preparation was involved with top quality food, food quantity, presentation with a lot of in preparing another European feast.The Nosh had been produced as a result of his many years of experience in Europe as a leading chef in some of Europe’s finest restaurants.

Will this be the Nosh of the Year?

Grand Master Kitchen Bitch obviously very impressed at the quality and volume of the Nosh inspected each dish to once again ensure an unbiased opinion.

Ballpoint took over from Resident Food critic Rug and personally inspected and then reported on each dish in great detail and gave some very interesting comments. As a food connoisseur of some note after his recent Nosh performance his comments were taken as very complimentary and it was a very positive with THUMBS UP for a great nosh by Jigsaw!!

The European Nosh Menu

• Spanish bean dip with copious quantities of toasted wafers
• Homemade hot tomato soup sprinkled with something meaty.
• European grilled sausages
• Potato Mash cooked to perfection
• Roasted carrots and fresh peas
• Poached pears and peaches with ice cream Sensational

The GM advised that Jigsaw well and truly produced the Nosh goods and produced a Gourmet Nosh. But for sure it was well over budget so thanks Jigsaw.

Well planned and organised Jigsaw as the food was excellent with reported minimal outsourcing.

The Circle

RA Caustic once again immediately gave orders to the Booze Masters to prepare Ice for any major or more particularly minor misdemeanour. We see our RA testing the ice to ensure it was high quality and very cold.

 

                  The RA quickly got the Nosh Chef & Hare Jigsaw into the circle for a detailed explanation of the run and nosh. Before he could proceed Jigsaw just gave up and sat on the ice!! For the first time in a living memory the RA was lost for words.

The group circled around the GM and Caustic while Jigsaw patiently sat on the ice. All in wonder at who would be next!!!

Then Botcho for no reason at all was the brunt of the RA and made to undergo the vengeance followed once again by Weekly for the reason of being there again.

The Circle frivolity was then abruptly interrupted by a disgruntled neighbour calling out from across the dark park to all and sundry “Shut the FU$#@ UP”

The RA was lost for words and took the advice of the not so friendly neighbour. The GM then continued the circle continued in a very quiet and dignified manner.

Down Downs

• Hard On and Swindler for 100 very fast walks.
• Ballpoint for advising he was successful in his recent nocturnal activity after the Christmas cocktail party.
• Iceman for not telling a joke.
• Kurt the Ripper ( friend of Bent Banana ) for being visitor to our Hash

 

Useless Shirt – Missing

GM Report

Next week run by the GM himself.

The GM advised that his run the next week would rate as a …“Hash Night not to be missed”

At 9.18 after much laughter & frivolity it was the those familiar but very quiet words of Josephine ……… End of CIRCLE

 

Swindler

 

Run: 1948

Date:2/03/2015

Location:Bundall

Hares: Kwakka & Moonbeams

Runners: 32

 

Splinter Lunch at Southport

 

The Video of Did Hard On enjoy his steak at Splinter Lunch?

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Phantom takes his first ride on the G LINK all the way to Surfers Paradise Irish Bar

 

 

Run 1948 with Kwakka & Moonbeams

2 March 2015

The Video of Run Instructions

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32 hashers eagerly waited for the run information from Kwakka or Moonbeams or 2Dogs?

No was really sure who did what but Kwakka was overheard to say as he was spending all day in the Mamma Mia Kitchen he would not have time to set the run and needed help with outsourcing the run instead of outsourcing the food.

As you can see from the video the explanation is almost impossible to understand!! See if you can work it out.

Once again those excited words from Moonbeams of “walkers go that way” the Walkers took off in the direction of the Rowers Club leaving the runners behind for more detailed instructions.

 The Run

The Runners with detailed instructions from Kwakka then raced out behind the Walkers lead by Flasher and Botcho. It only seemed like 2 weeks ago we were at this location or were we?

Then for the first time in recent Hash Run memory Kwakka’ s plan worked. Runners and Walkers grouped up at the Bundall traffic lights.

A slow amble across the road by the runners and walkers as they discussed world affairs. Then the On On was called by Sir Rabbit on the Hash bugle.

Sir Black Stump reported it was a well-marked run with lots of chalk and a very good run.

2 Dogs as always providing highly accurate information advised that the run was total of 7.1Km but he did note that Flasher once again took a short cut.

For a change the detailed instructions and well-marked trail resulted in a total run success and not the usual Fu###@@ up.

Well done Kwakka and Moonbeams for excellent run in the local area where many runs have occurred.

 The Run Finish

The tight finish with Iceman, Brewtus, Bent Banana, Josephine, 2 Dogs, Ballpoint and Botcho in with the first group of returning runners. Due to the well-marked trail and good location no one was lost and within 48 minutes all runners were back to the trailer and finishing off the free crownies supplied by Sir Prince Valiant who celebrated another birthday.

 The Long Walk

Shat reported that it was an excellent walk and for the first time that a walk had been actually well marked. Fuller-shit did the whole walk guided by Hard On and Weekly!

The Winners Circle

The RA quickly got the Nosh Chef & Hare Kwakka with the Assistant Hare Moonbeams into the circle for a detailed explanation of the run and nosh.

The Losers Circle

“If only I could have run faster” commented Josephine “I would have beaten Botcho and 2 Dogs but I tell you it’s not easy to run with a roaring roger ‘…I guess Josephine forget to take off the POW while on the run!!

The Great Italian Mamma Mia Nosh by Chef Kwakka

 

At last a return to Gourmet Food as Ex Mamma Mia Chef Kwakka looked set to take the pole position as Nosh of the Year.

 

Kwakka advised that a large amount of pre hash food preparation was involved with top quality food, food quantity, presentation, time etc etc etc etc The Nosh had been produced as a result of his many years of experience as leading chef at Mamma Mia in Ashmore.

 

It does appear that he may have called in some assistance from family expert’s including his Italian Mother in law Philomena who as many know has a secret nokki recipe that she refuses to give to anyone.

 

At last we could forget the Hash Nosh Crap of Tri Hashalon week with “Bring your own Tin of Food” which was rated the WORST Nosh of the year to date. Missing Link is still overseas in the hope we will forget .Oh Yeah!!!!

 

Will this be the Nosh of the Year?

Grand Master Kitchen Bitch obviously very impressed at the quality and volume of the Nosh took over from Resident Food critic Rug and personally inspected each dish in great detail and gave the positive THUMBS UP!!

The Great Italian Mamma Mia Nosh Menu

• Italian Meat balls entrees. delicious
• Nocci …made to an old Italian recipe not just a price
• Schnitzel steaks. Cooked to perfection
• Italian Salads .fresh and delicious
• Tiramisu Desert. Sensational

The GM advised that Kwakka well and truly produced the Nosh goods and produced a Gourmet Nosh. But for sure it was well over budget so thanks Kwakka.

Great to have back the Nosh Gourmet Food Quality.

Well planned and organised Kwakka as the food was excellent…maybe more outsourcing is the real answer to top quality Nosh.

The Circle

The group circled around the GM and Caustic in anticipation of another pending announcement with more freebies for the Hash members.

No such luck for RA Caustic once again immediately gave orders to the Booze Masters to prepare Ice for any major or more particularly minor misdemeanour.

 

Icing Vengeance at its worst as RA Caustic goes into an icing rage

  

 

• Kwakka for bring a Warrior. No mercy even after a great Nosh
• Blue Card for driving his 4 wheel drive normally
• Weekly for charge against Pile driver who was absent
• Sir Prince because it was his birthday
• Ballpoint for opening his mouth and using the C@$# word
• Jigsaw for nothing at all
• Krit for being new to our Hash
• Flasher for no present for GM
• Weekly again for just being there
• Iceman for telling a joke

 

 

Down Downs

All the above plus

Circumference as a RR from NZ with an amazing gift for the GM of an all-day sucker!!

 POW

Awarded by Josephine after a great deal of deliberation and listing several deserving recipients who were not attendance the finally was left with only Aussie. (did deserve this !!!)

It does appear that Aussie may have taken a bribe from Sir Prince and his TriHashalon Team and he failed to award the first prize to the team for Sir Slab, Rockhard & Josephine who according to Josephine were the definite winners of this treasured trophy.

 GM Report

Hashy Birthdays

• Sir Prince Valiant
• Caustic
• Show Pony

• Next week run by Jigsaw ..need GPS as in the bush

• GM advised that his run the following week would rate as a …“Hash Night not to be missed “

 

Proudly Weekly stepped forward to accept the accolades for the organisation and donation of this amazing perpetual golf trophy.

 

At 9.35 after much laughter & frivolity it was the those familiar words of Moonbeams that’s echoed over the assembled mob ……… End of CIRCLE

 

Swindler

 

Run: 1947

Date:23/2/2015

Location:Ashmore

Hares: Weekly & Bent Banana

Runners:35

 

• Pile Driver undertakes major repairs to the Hash Trailer to make it safe from explosion, fire, high centre of gravity and implosion. Thanks Pile Driver.

• Hard On celebrates another milestone birthday with Crownies all around!

 

• Gold Coast Warriors meet at Montmartre wed am for discussions on matter of great importance.

Run 1947 with Weekly & Bent Banana

23 Feb 2015

The Video of Run Instructions

[fvplayer src=”http://www.goldcoasthash.org/wp-content/uploads/BB-Video-pre-run-23-feb-2015.mov” width=”568″ height=”320″]

35 Hashers eagerly waited for the information from Bent Banana.

As you can see from the video the explanation is almost impossible to understand!! See if you can work this out!!.

• “How long is the walk?” asked Now Loved
• “Walk is 4/5 of the Run” said BB
• “If you Walk and Run it is 62.5 min and will take 1 and ¼ times the Run”
• BB then asked all the Question: “how long is the walk?”

Stunned silence as all tried to work out the answer to this complicated question .See answer at the end of the Truth.

Once again those excited and repetitive words of let’s go that way !!! several of the hashers took off in different directions…some never listen!!.

The Run

Fanny Charmer reported it was a great run with a total of 5.9Km. He missed the drink stop (mainly because BB decided not to put one in because of the possible rain).

2Dogs, as always providing highly accurate information advised that the run was not 5.9 Km but 6.5 Km so obviously he over-ran the checks or Fanny Charmer was a shot cutting Pri@## as 2 Dogs insinuated!!

However for a change the detailed instructions and well-marked trail resulted in a total run success and not the usual Fu###@@ up.

“Experience counts” noted Miscarriage.

Well done BB for excellent run in an area where many runs have occurred.

“I did the first run ever from here” reported Josephine and they have copied me ever since.

The Run Finish

Very tight finish with Miscarriage, Ballpoint and Botcho in with the first runners. Due to the well-marked trail and good location no one was lost and within the hour all runners were back to the trailer and finishing off the free crownies.

The Walk

Now Loved reported that it was an excellent walk and for the first time a walk had been actually well marked. Shat did the walk guided by Truck Tyres and they came in last…figure that out!!

The Winners Circle

The RA quickly got the Nosh Chef Weekly and the hare Bent Banana into the circle for a detailed explanation of the run and nosh.

 The Losers Circle

“If only I could have run faster” commented Fanny Charmer “I would have beaten 2 Dogs”

FOODS ON!!!

The Nosh

As expected this was to be at last a return to Gourmet Food as the GM took up pole position at the trailer.

Weekly advised that a large amount of pre Hash preparation was involved with top quality food quality, food quantity, presentation, time etc etc etc etc … Would this be the Nosh of the Year ???

Could we ever forget Hash Crap of last week with “Bring your own Tin of Food” which was rated the WORST Nosh of the year to date. Missing Link decided that best he go overseas for a month or so in the hope we would forget ..Oh Yeah!!!!

It was reported that Iceman was taken down by food poisoning after last week meal! Good to see he had now recovered although he did look still a little green behind the ears. As his joke was certainly not up to usual standard he is obviously still mentally affected by the sickness affliction.

 

Resident Food critic Rug can be seen here inspecting the food and gives the THUMBS UP!!

Proudly Weekly stepped forward to accept the accolades for this fine Gourmet food.

Under intense interrogation by the GM, Weekly advised:

• Entrée Platters of Cheese and savouries …outsourced to Paulette
• Honey spuds …outsourced to Paulette
• Top quality steaks. outsourced
• Salads .outsourced
• Desert …outsourced

The GM advised that Karma was truly satisfied as Weekly did his arse on the food costs by the time he paid all the respective parties.

Well organised Weekly as the food was excellent…maybe more outsourcing is the real answer to top quality Nosh.

Great to have the GM back to keep up the Nosh Gourmet Food Quality.

The Circle

The group circled around the GM and Caustic in anticipation of a pending announcement.

No such luck for the Caustic immediately gave orders to the Booze Masters to prepare Ice for a major misdemeanour.

The RA Icing Vengeance

Sir Prince Valiant for breaking the Golden Rule of Hash by leaving behind his new shoe box last week as rubbish at the Hash venue.

 Down Downs

• Elvis away for 2 years playing soccer around the World.
• Truck Tyres for several offences including abuse of RA

• Miscarriage for his long story of the bulldozer and Pajero at Gilston.

• Blue Card for not minding his own business and advising TT to take off his hat when in circle

• Brewtus and Elvis for meeting at the girl guides hut …interesting !!

POW

Awarded by Jigsaw to Josephine for being one the very early recipients of this treasured trophy.

 At 9.15 after much laughter & frivolity it was the those familiar words of Moonbeams that’s echoed over the assembled mob from high in the grandstand gallery ………      End of CIRCLE

• Answer to Question: how long is the walk?
• 5 x ¼ = 12.5 min
• Run = 50min
• Walk = 40 min

 

 

Swindler

Run: 1946

Date:16/2/2015

Location:Bundall

Hares: Hierarchy

Runners:38

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sir Black Stump wins:

• Australian Distance Championship
• 2nd World masters over 65

Congratulations from the GCHHH for an amazing effort.

The Tri-Hashalon Run 1946

Gold Coast City Council Civic Centre Bundall Road

The Start of the Run

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38 excited TriHashalonites gathered around Van Diemen (VD) who had just flown in from Tasmania especially to control and organise this ground-breaking event. Thanks VD for making this special effort.

VD then went into the very detailed run instructions. However Shat decided to get telephone advice from his good friends at the Australian Institute of Sport to assist VD.

VD then appointed his team of professional and very unfit Marshalls of Acting GM Caustic (foot in plaster) , 2 Dogs (weak legs) ,Truckie ( not well) to monitor the teams.

With the excited repetitive sounds of let’s go!!! The swimmers headed towards the lake at full speed as the remaining team members of the 11 team cheered them on.

The Swim Start    

   

Yes. you guessed. A total debacle with a series of unplanned events guaranteed to create havoc amongst this fine group of swimmers as no one was really sure which side of the buoy to swim around, no lifeguards or back up emergency measures to help save Fanny Charmer from the events that was to rapidly unfold.

   

The Swim Finish

The group of weak kneed, breath gulping and panting swimmers were greeted by Acting GM Caustic who had prepared a nice Cold Aldi meat pie for each swimmer to eat before their next team member could commence the next leg of the bike ride.

Pile Driver, one of the early swim arrivals found eating the meat pie between gulping big deep breaths of air a little daunting!

 The Bike Ride Start

Then out went the 11 Warriors one by one. These finely tuned bike riders have been training 3 times a week for this last 12 months for this event. Phantom, Rockhard, Jigsaw, Nasty, Kwakka, Shat, Blue Card, Fanny Charmer, Sir Slab, Swindler and Seedy. What a fine bunch of highly tuned athletes.

    

The Bike Ride Finish

It does seem that several bike riders took short cuts and were unable to see the correct trail!! Kwakka, Blue Card and Hard-on were disqualified by the judges Aussie and 2 Dogs and Truckie for short cutting.

The Run Start

Lack of detailed instructions resulted in a total run Fu###@@ up. Some went around the run circuit once like Sir Rabbit, some twice like Ballpoint, some 3 times like Bent Banana and Miscarriage and while Flasher never sure of where he is went around 3.5 times.

The Run Finish

Absolutely no idea except we did see Cumsmoke collapsed on the ground complaining he needed to work tomorrow!!

The Winners Circle

Of the 11 teams each one claimed to be the winner. I guess they all were as they competed but as always only one true winning team!!

Computer driven results produced by 2 Dogs (without his computer …figure that out!!) gave the winning team advice to VD.

Winning Team

Phantom * Head * Sir Prince Valiant

The Losers Circle

If only the other teams had this type of moral support to keep them going

The queue for the Finisher T Shirt quickly grew as the Finishers were eager to collect their FREE Collector’s Item memorable T Shirt. All agreed it was a fantastic design (great design work by VD) with the hierarchy photos and was a wonderful memento of this event.

  

 

FOODS ON!!!

The Nosh

Again a large amount of pre Hash hype about food quality, food quantity, presentation, time etc etc etc etc … Would this Hash Crap live up to these expectations!!

Bring your own tin.

   

The result looked and tasted nothing like the photos below.

Rated the WORST Nosh of the year to date.

   

The leading hash food connoisseur on Irish Stew, Rug ….absolute Crap and the recent hash of Nasty’s Aldi Pies and peas were much better!!!

Josephine …trying to outdo Sir Rabbit’s comments of “great tomatoes in the Nosh “ declared ….Brilliant food

Blue Card as always living in another world agreed with the Sir Rabbit and declared…. Excellent Food

Well done Missing Link for your great effort but the ingredients supplied to you were obviously not so good.

Food comments and Score of -Minus1 officially endorsed by the Rug says it all!!!

Where is the GM when he is most needed!!

The Circle

The excited teams circled around the Acting GM Caustic in anticipation of a pending announcement. It was suggested that there may be a readjustment of the team positions.

No such luck for the Winning Team as Acting GM Caustic immediately gave orders the Booze Masters to prepare DD for the winners as their first prize.

Well done Phantom, Head and Sir Prince Valiant.

Returning Runners then got a DD

• Mags .away for several years but forgets where he was
• Swindler in China and Indonesia planting trees
• Seedy baby sitting in Bathurst

Acting RA Aussie

Down Downs

 

• Cumsmoke abuse of Acting RA telling him that he still had lots of room left in his new single

 

• BallPoint for being the only person who went around the buoy.

 

• Blackie as a ring-in to the event and a serial overtaker on the event

 

• Pile Driver for sitting on his dinner plate and breaking into in 4 tiny pieces

 

• Missing Link & Flasher for complaining about the Hierarchy photos on singlet being to small

 

• Cumsmoke, Ballpoint and Sir Slab for complaining about the food ..Sir Slab then decided as One Sir drinks all Sirs drink roped in the Sir Rabbit , Sir Black Stump , Sir Prince Valiant and Sir AH

 

• Miscarriage for his long Valentine story that went nowhere and ended nowhere

 

• Hard On as a winner of the Melbourne Cup Sweep ( all were surprised that he forgot to collect it ??)

 

• Sir Prince Valiant for new shoes

 

POW

Awarded by Nasty to Jigsaw for running Nasty off the bike track and causing injury to his leg.

 

At 8.58 after much laughter & frivolity it was the those familiar words of Josephine that’s echoed over the teams ………      End of CIRCLE

 

Swindler