Run: 1927

Date:6/10/2014

Location: Burleigh Waters

Hare: Truck Tyre

Runners: 25

 

We acknowledge in this week’s Words Dirty Dancers thanks to the Gourmet Hash for the kind donation to the Cambodian Children’s Charity. We collected $150 on the charities behalf from the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash runners. Well done and a special thank you to all those who contributed.

 

Run 1928 with Truck Tyres

Who said Truck Tyres would forget to turn up, maybe would forget the food , or lose his way setting the run ??

Would this be the night that all those “Truckie Rumours” were put to rest with an excellent night of top quality nosh and great run.

Promoted as a sole effort with no outsourcing by Truck Tyres as the Hare ,the Nosh Chef and assistant Booze Master.

A high attendance of 25 hashers for a holiday day run was impressive as the word was out that Truckie had been preparing the nosh and run for the last couple of weeks so all looked promising.

The group of 24 dedicated athletes asembled in the Library Carpark for an early start in the bright afternoon sun. In fact one athlete named VD arrived at 6.10 in time for the nosh..( In another senior moment VD forgot the start time that on public holidays we always start at 5pm !!!)

Yes, this is Truck Tyres at the pre-run briefing explaining how the run is planned!!

• Will he be able to redeem himself this week and save himself from an icing!!
• Will the Run and Nosh compete as the Best Trailer Nosh and Run of the Year.
• Will we be able to understand his directions.

The pre-run briefing from Truck Tyres was very detailed with promises of more of the same ,same, same ..unfortunatley in his excitement truckie parked his 4 wheel drive over his hash marking so we could all only guess what they were!!!

As always Truck Tyres did not let truth get in the way of a good Hash run briefing. With arms waving in all directions as he held a large piece of gyprock he advised runners to take off with those mumbled Hare Words …“walk out there and turn left “

The GM dressed in the G Spot Hash Shirt and his trademark flip flops was obviously ready to take up his usual postion next to the wine as he called the rabble to order and sent the group on their way at 5.10 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ .

This time with support from Sir Rabbitt ,Botcho and Caustic ,GM gathered them around the trailer as they discussed the fine wine that needed tasting for an important event.

After so many this year of so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow for Truck Tyres.

The Run

Truck Tyres spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked as he advised he did several recces to set it up. Well done for the extra effort Truck Tyres.

The runners raced up the roadway while Truckie instructed the big team of Walkers to remain behind for a detailed briefing.

Bent Banana and Circumference led the runners out of the carpark. 2 Dogs ,Jigsaw, Fanny Charmer , Missing Link , Rug and Iceman were in full flight up the road hard on their heels. Good to see new runner NOW keeping up with pace.

On On was called several times on the run as Sir Blackie , Lurch and Rockhard moving fast soon realised they were following Thirsty Thursdays markings!!.

The first runner back sweating was Circumference via the incorrect rail..he ran for a total of 24 minutes and came back puffing and sweating.

Run Advisor 2 Dogs advised the run based on his GPS was 1hour and 3 minutes and run distance 9.7 km. Well done those few hashers who did the whole run.

Run Critic 2 Dogs then also advised it was a great run with excellent markings.

Sweep Bent Banana again noted that most runners this week did not do the full run except him but said was by all accounts it was an excellent and well planned run by Truckie.

Good effort Truckie for an well planned and well reccee run.

The Walkers

         Q: Name the walker wearing the blue shirt

Warrior Now Loved, recuperating with a fractured scapula after his altercation with a couple of lycra bike riders, led the pack around the lake.

Again this pathectic bunch who turn up each week for the wine and food, this week decided that as they could still see in the daylight and not suffering from night blindness they would do the 6km walk. Yes..this is one of the walkers.Sir Prince Valient not really wanting to be with the walkers.

The walkers this week did quickly move around the lake and most were surprised to see so much wildlife at this time of the day as they struggled around the sandy pathways.

Hard On ,Kwakka, Shat ,Swindler and Blue Card (proudly wearing his new blue hasadashery shirt) enjoyed the slow amble as they discussed world affairs.

The Trailer Nosh

For Nosh Chef Truck Tyres it was always going to be a hard act to follow after the recent weeks with prevois contenders saying that at this stage they had been voted “The Best Trailer Nosh of the Year?”

The feeding frenzy commenced once word was out that the homemade chicken noodle soup actually was full of real chicken pieces.

Resident food Critic Rug “..excellent chichen soup, lagagna was full of flavour and the homemake trifle was amazing’ ..this bought loud applause from the assembled mass.

Lurch commented that he could not believe that he was in the “Garden of Pleanty”.

Botcho gave an unbiased opinion that the salad he assisted to prepare was very well put together.

Well done Truck Tyres for no outsourcing and providing a trailer 3 course meal with zero outsourcing. A great effort and very tasty homemade food recipes that made this an excellent hash night of quality and true homemade hash nosh.

Menu:

• Chicken Soup with fresh hot Turkish breads.
• Homemade lasagna with heaps of fresh salad.
• Lashings of homemade trifle.

The CIRCLE

Once again our GM complete in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and the Moses Staff and long flashy pants opened the Circle.

DD to:

• NOW for his association with Weekly
• Sir Black Stump left his hash plate behind at last hash run
• Now Loved for damaging the Lycra bike rider.
• Truck Tyres for Hashy Birthday
• Blue Card for interruption of GM in the circle
• Lurch for returning runner as he was very busy “dealing” last week

Icing

Weekly has been at the unfortunate end of the RA Caustic final judgment seems to get iced every week. But this week Weekly was not on the roll call!!

The RA desperate to use his carefully prepared ice try was looking for a candidate. Would Truck Tyres be able to stay under the radar and saved from an icing after a great run and great homemade food.

Afraid not as RA Caustic sought vengeance on poor Truck Tyres. ……..but all decided in full chorus that better Truckee get iced than they do so let Caustic take his deranged vengeance on Truckee.

Fortunately Bent Banana has developed and patented a unique an anti-icing tool that he kindly loaned to Truckee to reduce the pain and suffering

All agreed so unfair!!

Useless Shirt:

Still Missing in Inaction

Prick of the Week:

Still Missing in Inaction

Report by GM

GM introduced and gave a warm guest welcome to:

• Mark “NOW” .Nephew of Weekly
• GM announced the mixed Hash Tails Cocktail Party on Saturday 6^th Book now as seats are limited.

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted a thoughtful gift from Now Loved. This unique gift at great expense just returned from Bali. A flying Air Asia key ring given for free to all passengers.

GM advised next week run will be by Aussie at Nerang Brewery. Oktoberfest Run. Run $20 includes unlimited beer and food with PRIZE for best dress.

End of CIRCLE …….by Two dogs @ 8.10pm

 

Swindler

 

Run: 1926

Date:29/09/2014

Location: Molendinar

Hare: Show Pony & Flasher

Runners: 32

Link to pictures Mobile

Gold Coast Gourmet Hash

There is no doubt that the Words in last few weeks have tested the intellectual capacity of our Gourmet Giants. After a few weeks of high quality intellectual Words heavily punctuated with terminoilogy that needed a Urban Thesaurus to find synonyms, antonyms and understand the related meanings your old On Sec is back. Yes, at last a detailed description of the evening events and the weeks Hash News told with truth with never letting the facts get in the way of a good story.

Special Thanks to Ballpoint and to Fanny Charmer for their deep and meaningful contribution to Words while I was os. Total sympathy to Aussie for destroying his computer hard drive with the evil Red while attempting to write the Words but no thanks whatsoever to M. Latrine for a total dereliction of duty in the face of that evil enemy Red.

 

NOTE:

This week Words has a question for members that our GM will ask next week at Hash. Will you know the answer or will you be humiliated in front of your fellow hashers??

 

• Blue Card has reported all parts are working well again after having a 2inch diameter Bunnings garden hose inserted into his manhood by a 20 year old nurse in Pindari Holiday Resort. Sounds a bit Kinky!!

• Warrior No Loved while racing along Hedges Avenue at full speed to meet his fellow warriors for the Friday morning road race was taken out by a couple of lycra bike riders…he is now recuperating with a fractured Scapula and from all reports he will be off the road for a few weeks.

 

• Crocodile recovering well from recent op and will be back to Hash next week

 

• Moonbeams returned from train trip north on his new electric bike will be back next week

 

• Front Runner Botcho has fallen in a heap. He was given special dispensation by GM to sit in circle after reporting in with Shaggers Back.

 

• Flasher will be the MC at his daughter’s wedding this week. Have a great day

 

• Sir Slab on marathon charity bike ride in SA

Run 1927 with Show Pony & Flasher

A joint effort by Show Pony & Flasher with Flasher as the Hare and Show Pony the Nosh Chef.

Promoted as another Run and Nosh of the Year resulted in a high attendance of 32 hashers for what was to be a totally predictable evening.

Yes, this is Flasher at the pre Run briefing expaning how it would all work !!

Will Flasher be able to redeem himself this week and save himself from another icing!!

Will the Run and Nosh compete with Miscarriage as the Best Trailer and Bush Bush Run of the Year.

 

The group of 32 dedicated athletes circled under the stars on the concrete driveway of Show Pony’s factory with only the glowing light of Flasher torch illuminating the markings .Thanks Show Pony for creating a unique venue ( how did you ever think of this venue??) and be very well prepared to make another great Hash night..

The pre-run briefing from Flasher was very detailed with promises of forests, shiggy , water , dirt tracks, wild animals etc

As always Flasher did not let truth get in the way of a good Hash run. Finally with arms waving in all directions he advised runners to take off with those mumbled Hare Words …“walk out the gate and turn left to the top of the road “

The GM dressed in flip flops and obviously ready to take up his usual postion next to the wine called the rabble to order and sent the group on their way at 6.20 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ . Once again he immedialty set about that impoatsnt event ..setting up the fire in the Beer drum ..so no doublt as he was to stay behind he would be near the warm fire.

Yes, our GM is a very thoughtful person and dedicated to the Hash to ensure we are truly the GCGourmet Hash as he forgoes his exercise each week to ensure the meal is perfect.

After so many this year of so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow for Flasher and Show Pony.

 

The Run Warm Up

This week we saw 2 Dogs and Fanny Charmer doing stretching exercises.

 

The Run

Flasher spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked as he advised he did 3 recces to set it up. Well done for the extra effort Flasher.

The runners and walkers raced up the roadway only to find after 600 metres had to retrun to where they started with Flasher waiting for them.

They all then moved into the dark abyiss across the vacant land with torches blazing to find the promised forest.

Flasher , Caustic , Miscarriage, Bent Banana and Ballpoint were leading the runners up the concrete pathway into the dark abyiss of the nearby forest adjacent.

Good to see new runners NOW and SOW keeping up the pace with Shetland hard on their heels.

Jigsaw, Fanny Charmer , Veteran ,Truck Tyres, Rug ,Josephine and Circumference were in full flight up the rocky and slippery hill. Flasher was waiting at the checks to make sure each hasher went the right way ..well done Flasher for your assistance in saving your fellow hashers by the altercation with the driver of the car who attempted to run you over.

On On was called several times on the run as Miscarriage ,Iceman and Rockhard moved into the tunnel of love to disturb a young couple enagaging in an activity that most Hashers have forgotten.

The first runners back via the incorrect rail though the bush at the rear of the Show Pony’s factory were Caustic & Veteran at 6.41pm ..yes..they ran for a total of 21 minutes and came back puffing and sweating.

Flasher somehow managed to get back first again but it seems he was very worried about the missing Truck Tyres so he raced out again into the dark looking for him.Very thoughful Flasher ..you should me more appreciated!!!

Sir Rabbit,on the comeback trail came in sweating profusely. Missing Link appeared with Sir Black Stump ,Truck Tyres, Sir Prince Valient and Josephine in a lather of sweat.

2 Dogs advised the run based on his GPS was 1hour and 13 minures and run distance 9.01 km. Well done those few hashers who did the whole run.

Run Critic 2 Dogs advised it was a very good run with excellent markings

“Run went well for the the first 600 meteres until we ended up back where we started with Flasher waiting for us “ 2 Dogs also commented “Amazing how Flasher found new territory” .. Ballpoint concurred that it was an excellent run.

Run Critic Josephine commented the run was well over time and the “on backs” were rediculous..no one really cared as they all unaminously decided Flasher did a great job and Weekly should be iced instead of Flasher.

Sweep Bent Banana noted that most runners this week did not do the full run but that said was by all accounts an excellent and well planned run by Flasher.

Great effort Flasher for an well planned and well reccee run.

 

The Walkers

 

Again this pathectic bunch who turn up each week for the wine and food ( and to get away from the wife) pretend to walk. Yes ,this group grows bigger each week and moves slower.

The walkers this week did quickly move forward across the grass using and some supporting equiptment as they struggled up the steep roadway.

Again we see those ex runners Van Diemen and Full of Shit who enjoyed the slow amble are now classified to the ranks of the dedicated professional walkers.

The dedicated professional permanent walkers of Carefree, Hard On , Weekly, Kwakka, Sir AH & Swindler all moved out as usual at snails pace which they kept up for the 2 km walk .Great comraderie these brave bunch of Hash Walkers continue to experience.

Full of Shit not used to city life somehow got lost on the Walk..What a worry he is becoming!!.

 

The Nosh Soup Kitchen Line up

Yes..it could well be the Rosies line up!!

For Nosh Chef Show Pony it was always going to be a hard act to follow after the recent weeks with every one saying that at this stage they have been voted “The Best Trailer Bush Nosh of the Year?”

It was looking like the GM Kitchen Bitch who continues to brainwash us that “the hash in now truly back into gourmet” may have had no job this evening due to the Show Pony’s professional pre-planning and outsourcing. But thanks Show Pony for letting GM flip the eggs or our GM would have felt totally left out and deflated that he had no job!

Resident food CriTic Fanny ChARMER …” nearly blew my arse out but was cooked to perfection” while Sir Prince noted that “if he farted he may end up in Oodnadatta”

Shetland gave a totally Unbiased report: Excellent food and beautifully presented…IT’S obvious he knows where his bread is buttered.

Well done Show Pony for providing a Trailer 4 course meal with Lots of Outsourcing…a great effort and excellent food that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of quality and true HASH nosh in a great location.

Menu:

• Pre-dinner snacks of Smith’s Potato Crisps
• Top quality and very tasty Goulash Meat and vegies served with hot Turkish breads
• Korean Kimchi something?? with cabbage ,rice ,noodles that tasted sooooooooooooo good.( great outsourcing Show Pony )
• Homemade ice-cream and Chocolate Mud Cake.

 

The CIRCLE

 

 

Our GM complete in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and the Moses Staff and long flashy pants opened the Circle around the glowing fire he so proudly created.

 

DD to:

• Flasher & Show Pony for Hare and Nosh
• Sir Prince for wearing his ISIS jacket

1. WhEre was thIS photo taken oF PhantoM & Sir prince

• NOW & SOW for their association with Weekly
• Blue Card for interruption of GM in the circle
• Ballpoint for creating 40 plastic images of himself to bait Pizza
• VD and Missing Link for damaging Aussie on the recent bike ride
• Shetland for failing his bus drivers test just for writing off the bus

 

Icings

• Weekly as he gets iced every week and this week was for the joke he told
• Bent Banana for developing and patenting a unique an anti-icing tool

 

 

 

 

Useless Shirt: Missing in Inaction

 

Prick of the Week: Missing in Inaction

 

 

Full of Piss and Wind Award

 

Blue Card awarded to Ballpoint. No one could understand why?

 

Report by GM

GM announced your ever caring hierarchy will this year have a mixed Hash Tails Cocktail Party on Saturday 6^th December. Book now as seats are limited

 

GM introduced and gave a warm welcome to:

Mark “NOW” .Nephew of Weekly

Brad “SOW’ …Son of Weekly

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted a thoughtful gift from Swindler who just returned from Japan. It will certainly be a welcome addition to his Mankini wardrobe.

 

GM advised next week run will be by??…“he could not remember who”

Suggest you check your Hairline!

 

 

End of CIRCLE …….by JoSephine @ 9.25pm

 

 

Swindler

 

 

 

Run: 1925

Date:22/09/2014

Location:Burleigh Waters

Hare: Caustic, Kitchen Bitch & helpers

Runners:36

Link to pictures Mobile
Making a Hash of Scotland
Chatting to most Gourmet hashers last Monday evening, I got the distinct impression that ‘relief’ was the order of the day as the sky had not fallen in despite the Scots voting to remain firmly attached to the welfare teat of Mother England. The thousand year old umbilical chord is said to be in pristine condition too….Scotland the Brave indeed!!!!!!
Rock Hard, an astute Planet Earth observer and a current affairs ‘freak’ was by far the most animated:

-“It fuc*!<n shits me to tears this bullshit about how teeny weeny Scotland punches way above its weight. What the f#*k have the Scots ever done for the fuc*!<g planet? Fuck all that’s what…… apart from Scotch whisky that is.

-“You mean” I said sheepishly, “apart from:

Penicillin;

Porridge;

the Propeller;

Postage stamp glue;

Paraffin;

Pencil sharpeners;

P-trap toilets; and

Piano foot-pedals”

-“My point exactly” he continued, these bastards couldn’t organise a root in a bloody brothel. Fuc#!<n useless they are.”

-“But didn’t they also invent:

Capitalism;

Chloroform;

Colour photography;

Chicken Tikka Masala;

Cloning (Dolly the sheep);

(Billy) Connolly;

Christmas trees;

(Root) Canal therapy; and also

Condoms

-“Maybe they did” he replied, “but that’s nothing to write home about. Fuc# me!!”

-“I think you’ll find that they also had a hand in:

Telegraphic transfers;

Tartan;

Televisions;

Tea bags;

(Rubber) Tyres;

Tampons;

Trains; and

Tea towels”

It’s a moot point but Rock Hard makes it well: no one remembers how great Scotland was and how the world has benefitted from its genius. No one remembers because if contemporary Scotland isn’t quite the arsehole of the world, it is most certainly its armpit. The spirit of William Wallace (remember Aussie Mel on his big black horse inspiring his troops to a famous victory over the Pommies with the words: “the enemy may take your life……..but they will NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!!”), that spirit is long dead. And in its place there is a nation so pathetic………….. so feeble……….. so bloody useless that it can only but wallow in a swamp of welfare dependency. All paid for by the Poms.

Our very own CAUSTIC CRUSADER was born and bred in that swamp. At 15 years of age he weighed in at a very healthy 120kg, made up of deep fried cheddar sandwiches and his penchant for deep fried Mars bars. He would scoff a couple for brekky (without toast), two more for lunch and another one for dinner, after his deep fried cheese sandwiches. He’d left school by then and turned to a life of petty crime. His old man had a word:

-“Wat d’fook d’ewe tink yor doon Jimmeh?” Straighen yor fook’n self ooot or yor orf too fook’n Australia”.

-” d’the ‘ave Mars bars n’ Australia?” was all CC could respond.

It’s fair to conclude that the intervening years have been kind to Caustic. Not only has he evolved to become one of Australia’s most eminent and (in)famous scientist, but he is also a pillar of the GCH3.

The run on Monday was a tribute to his progress as a human being but, more generally, to the greatness of the human spirit. It reflected his trip in life from the struggle of the Glaswegian beginning (climbing the bushland of the West Burleigh headland) to the enlightment period of the new world -Australia- (the placid, peaceful banks of Tallebudgerra Creek and its sandy beaches). Proving his Hash credentials once more, CC treated the pack to sought after ‘virgin territory’ i.e. a patch of bushland not yet decimated by wide-eyed developers or previously hashed. It was 9kms of pure Hashing bliss.

During the ensuing crit’, resident run assessor Two Dogs, could barely contain hisself:

-“Fuc#! that was good” he said excitedly, “just like having a good Chinese”.

Miscarriage thought the run was “a bloody brilliant Hash experience” but for the fact that he found the terrain “too flat”.

-“I like me runs like I like me custard” he explained, “with bloody big lumps in it”.

Shat was asked to comment on the walk and he too was very complimentory (Q: does this bloke ever have a bad word to say about anybody or anything?)

-“A lot of the walkers thought the walk was a bit too hard and a bit too lenghty GM, but I thought it was just perfect”.

But as good as the run was, it was his effort in the culinary stakes which truly set CC’s run apart from the usual debacle. Buggered runners were greeted with delightful finger-foody, tit-bitty, Quichy thinggies oozing with taste and flavour. Entree comprised of bbq seared fresh tuna wrapped in crisp lettuce leaves and seasoned with a lovely San Choi Ban type dressing. For Mains, the troops were treated to a Steak sanger, unlikely to make the Michelin star rating system, but a steak sanger to die for. Aged beef fillet par excellence.

It is indeed a measure of the Gourmet quality of the feed that by the time dessert was served, resident guts Lurch could not indulge hisself. “Sorry mate but I’m just too bloody full”. He missed out on a crispy waffle topped with marinated strawberries and a dollop of double cream ice cream and sauce.

Sounding out a crit’ on the nosh, GM Kitchen Bitch was overwhelmed by a massive: “Nosh of the year” refrain. Circumference presented the only dissenting voice when he said: “Bloody great tucker CC but the caramel sauce on the ice cream was, in my humble opinion, slight overkill.”

Circle time and the Grand Master got to work immediately. Weekly was iced for not paying attention to Lord GM and, despite his valid reason that he’d left his hearing aid in the car, his pleading fell on deaf ears. While he was cooling his bollocks, GM introduced Weekly’s nephew, a Hash virgin, and asked to rate his uncle. He appeared a decent enough lad but he is a dead set fucking liar.

In another example of the quality of the night’s fare, Rug was given a Down for an uncharacteristic display of poor manners. Upon being called to the feeding trough, and instead of lining up in a prim and proper Pommie way like the rest of the troops, he burst his way into the queue eager for his plate to be filled. He showed absolutely no remorse.

RA Caustic got in on the act, and much to everybody’s astonishment he said: “Today’s Hash was a stand-up Hash, so all you lazy bastards who sat to eat come in here for a Down.” As the Circle distintegrated, 30 blokes stepped into its imaginary centre and copped their penance.

Shat was called in to replace Weekly on the ice for the petty crime of calling the RA a ‘c###’. And quick as a flash the GM interrupted: “Remember fellas that this is a new-age Hash and we do not condone personal abuse. Those of you who feel slighted please understand that the Hierarchy feels your pain and wish to apologise most profusely. Having said that, it is entirely OK for the Grand Master to call you c#nts a bunch of fu#kin# c#nts.

Weekly, revelling in his ‘Useless’ sweater, was asked to handed on. “I feel most comfortable in this” he said “and I’m most reluctant to pass it on. “However I reckon Hard On deserves it…..”

Sir Prince Valiant entered the Circle to handover the POW. He looked particularly handsome with the condom on his noggin.

-“I have 3 candidates for this much sought after award, but really it can only go to one bloke: Cumsmoke, for ripping off my neighbour and pulverising her rose garden, you’re the POW.”

There was a last call for Bent Banana to be iced for RA abuse. Caustic revealed that he had wanted to ice BB earlier but with the shortage of ice and the fact that BB has a habit of leaving behind all sorts of bits and pieces from his arse, he decided that decorum should prevail and iced him last.

Before closing the Circle, a sheepish Rock Hard asked to say a few final words:

-“It is clear that not all Scots are useless; it is also clear that in Caustic Crusader the spirit of William Wallace lives on and on and on and on….

And on those heartfelt words, Josephine closed the Circle.

On2,

BallPoint

Run: 1924

Date:15/09/2014

Location:Burleigh Waters

Hare: VD & Slug

Runners:29

Link to pictures Mobile

Due to the Stand-in stand-in Scribe Aussie  getting pissed and spilling red wine on his laptop and duly farking it we requested contributions from the Hash as follows;

 

 

 

 

Why did I volunteer to be the stand In On Sec.

My memory is bad at the best of times!! Even worse after a few reds. The story about me spilling wine on my computer was my best yet.

I won’t be asked again!!

 

 

Showpony’s recollection

 

Sorry RA I can’t remember that far back only that Flasher left his hash mug behind. Devastated!! Did anyone find it ? Apparently there is a Handsome reward

And a Down Down for stupidity

 

 

Sir Rabbitts recollection’s

A stand out would be SOW Son Of Weekly impersonating Pavarotti and doing a great job. Flashers dress up as a Rabbi was a show stealer. Weekly was dumfounded why he got a down down for his sick joke. Excellent job of the food and presentation. Well orchestrated and entertaining circle. I just love the chook on top of the staff, gives the performance a bit of class and looks great in the photos. The run would have been a lot better had the hare or a representative guide us through the partially washed out trail. All in all, another great hash night with a good balance of events unfolding in a perfect order. Looking from SOW’s first impression, I reckon he must of thought we are a well organised and somewhat orderly gathering for a bunch of mostly old c–ts. Give yourselves a pat on the back. I’m not in favour of punishment for someone stepping up with good intentions fucking up their laptop with red wine, but a severe reprimand should be in order for anyone consuming piss in the vicinity of a keyboard or any electronic equipment should be advised. After all: electronic stuff is allergic to all forms of liquids. It’s now time to select the beverages for tonight’s activities.

On On

Sounds like a Down Down for the Stand-in Stand-in Scribe !!

Two Dogs Foggy Thorts

I feel a very cheap red wine inserted​ via the other end would suffice as punishment RA,

As far as I can remember :

• It pissed down just prior to the run
• Half the run was washed out, splitting the pack
• Some how, as per usual, the pack re-emerged from various directions to find the last few kilometres of well marked fresh trail
• About 4.76kms and 32 minutes for the lead run pack
• It was rumoured some had retired to the nearby Footy Club fro refreshments
• Food by VD of cheese whatsits starters, schnitzel main and what ever it was dessert was excellent
• Somewhere during proceedings we had opera singing, or was that the piss taking effect
• Great effort by Slug & VD in some times difficult circumstances

 Sounds like a Down Down for the Stand-in Stand-in Scribe !!

Bent Banana’s Bletherings

GAGADIYR

(Go And Get A Dick In Your Ear)

Flasher that little Jew said that!

Just thought I would let you know.

Maybe I will get a credit towards my next DD

On On BB

Sounds like a Down Down for Flasher for RA abuse

To which in normal childish Hash fashion Flasher replied

BB..You miserably wanker…and knowing that Caustic will be at a low ebb seeing Scotland is staying British!

I think you should be on ice again so you can leave your little brown mark…

On On, Flasher

• Sounds like another Down Down for Flasher for RA abuse

BB;s reply to Rabbi Flasherwitz

I think Caustic would believe a retired banker, before a moslem islamist who recently converted to Judaism.

On ON

BB

• Sounds like another Down Down for Flasher for RA abuse

The RA’s Punishment list

 Down Downs –Weekly, SOW, others

Useless Shirt-SOW

POW-Prince Valiant

 Outstanding Event-SOW singing a Pavarotti aria or 2

 Nosh: Starter:Toasties  Main Chicken:Schnitzel  Desert:Some good sh-t with custard and ice-cream

 End of Circle 9.13pm (approx)                                                                                                                  On On RA/Caustic

 

 

 

 

 

Hardons Contribution

Caustic,

Botcho has photos and these may help in the recollection Mine are gone Regards HardOn

 

My deduction (before I forget) is Alzeihmers is alive and well in Hash

Ballpoints Contribution

Dearest RA,

On the subject of the ‘Words’, Fanny Charmer mentioned ‘en passant’ two weeks ago that I would be doing them last week. “You remember” he said to me, “Swindler asked me to do them last week and you agreed to do them this week”.
-“Did I?” I said to him most surprised. “I can remember no such thing”. But he was most adamant………and most animated that I’d forgotten.
Later that evening he returned: “sorry BallPoint, it was Latrine that Swindler asked, not you ole mate. You two look so much alike you could be bloody twins and I got all confused, silly me”, and he toodled off with egg all over hisself……

TWINS!!!
Is he for fucking real?
Still, if Arnie and DeVito are twins then maybe……..

That being said, I think you’re barking up the wrong tree RA, in seeking to punish the ‘stand-in stand-in’. For what do you make of the clown who made the fateful decision to give an even bigger clown (Mademoiselle Latrine) the prestigious task of writing the run report? Is it any bloody surprise we have a cock-up on our hands??? That’s where your arrow should be pointing RA, towards On Sec Swindler. Particularly when one considers that he has a perfectly able and most willing Acting On-Sec, champing at the bit to put ballpoint to paper.

I can’t recall seeing the Swindler on the ice so methinks it may be an opportune time to introduce him to it.

In concluding, you and the the rest of the Gourmet hashers will be most relieved to know that Hash normality has finally been restored: the On Sec was in touch with me mid week and requested that I do next week’s ‘words’, something which I will delight in doing.

Your run I believe RA?

(Gotta handed to the big bloke Swindler, he learns fast from his fuck-ups……)

On2,
BallPoint

Run: 1923

Date:8/09/2014

Location:Coombabah

Hare: Rug

Runners:33

Link to pictures Mobile

Tonight’s run commenced from Grassy Park in Hansford Road, Coombabah, a well known run location and one used by tonight’s hare, Rug, on at least one occasion that your humble scribe can recall. For those of you who don’t want to read the entire run report, suffice to say that Rug’s last run was a total debacle, with fellow hashers having to rescue the nosh on that occasion, markings dissolving in the rain and consequently, a large number of hashers having no bloody idea where they were. What a contrast tonight was and Rug has obviously learnt from prior mistakes!! The run was great and the nosh was par excellence. For those of you with a bit more attention span, please move on to the next paragraph.

As the scheduled run start time approached, being 6.15 pm, we all asked the obvious question “where’s the bloody hare???” who explained later that he had had a “senior’s moment” and thought that as the previous week he had set the same run for the Thursday Hash and it started at 6.30, we also started at 6.30. He’s only done 386 runs with this Hash, not that many really, so quite understandable that he would get confused about the time we start!!

 

The run itself was WELL OVER eight kilometres in length, well marked with clear chalk markings on the bitumen legs and most of the bush markings consisting of little piles of shredded paper, probably all previously being marked ‘top secret’! It was hard work and your humble substitute scribe was not the only one who commented after the run that he busted his balls keeping up with other runners so as to not be left out in the bush on his own with all those critters that come out under cover of darkness. There were ‘roos, cane toads and goodness knows what else out there; a scary thought indeed if you’re in the dark on your own.

The walk also was commented upon as being long and Show Pony whinged that the sweeps were not doing their job (sweeps? What sweeps??) and it is too hard for our less able walkers to suss out all the checks and it would be nice if those front runners/walkers could rub out the false trail marker at each check so that the pack can stay together.

The first ones home from the walk and the run very quickly ensconced themselves in the chairs at the table closest to the fire in the brazier. A very relaxed and jovial gathering consisting of Carefree, Shat, Kwakka, Weekly, Moonbeams, Prince Valiant, Hard On, Phantom and Circumference. They looked like they’d been there all night!

 

The hare avoided an icing by the skin of his teeth for setting a run that almost went over the hour limit. Madamoiselle Latrine decided to ride off on his rickety bike immediately after the run, probably in disgust at the length of the run and Sir Rabbit tried to order two pizzas from your trusty stand-in scribe who must have looked like a waiter taking orders with his notebook in hand. Meanwhile, Ballpoint had to be yelled at to get his act together, stop crapping on about his glorious design for the Hash retirement village in Sihanoukville and pay his run fees!

At 7.40 your humble stand-in scribe mentioned to the GM that Iceman still had not finished the run and should we send out a search party, with the response being “fuck him”! Iceman eventually turned up at 7.55 pm, complaining that there were about 15 checks and it was hard work when you’re checking them on your own!!

The nosh tonight consisted of entrée of Chicken and Corn soup, with the option for those of us with a bit of class of adding soy sauce and/or sesame oil, with the reaction from most being “why would you want to put that shit in it?”. The soup was popular with most of us having seconds but some (Weekly) having sevenses. Mains was chicken and pork adobo, a Philippino specialty and clearly outsourced to Mrs Rug. Dessert was a lovely cup of strawberry Romanoff, with a treat at the bottom of chocolate and hazelnut ganash. Yep, the gourmet truly is back in the Gourmet Hash…and our visitor Kritt (as in Kritter), from Singapore thought that this was just a “Monday men’s hash”…how wrong could he be!!

 

The Circle

 

 

 

Circle tonight was a SIT DOWN affair!

Your humble stand-in scribe was truly shocked, thinking this was some sort of ploy to get everybody iced as this was something unknown to him as a newbie Hasher.

 

Two dogs thought that we were all going to now be subjected to a “sermon by the fire” from the GM.

Iceman was asked for his critique of the run and described his “demi-loop” which turned it into a 12 km run for him. No wonder he did it on his own! Ballpoint rated it a “shit-house run” and Two Dogs, one of the few remaining “true runners” in this Hash said it was “too fucking long but it could have been worse”. Ferrett, who did the walk, said it took 7 ½ minutes over the hour and in his view the hare should sit on the ice for 7 ½ minutes as a consequence, further adding “we stuck with the hare and thank God we did otherwise we’d still be out there!”.

Circumference was asked for his view of the nosh and replied “excellent”. When asked to expand on this comment he replied “when you’ve hit excellent, you can’t say anymore”, leaving the GM lost for words! Weekly loved the starter so much he had 7 serves and Carefree thought it was a crab bisque!

Visitors – Krit – from Singapore – when introduced, the first quick comment was “wonder why they called him that…they mustn’t be able to say “L” in Singapore!”..get it??? A well deserved down-down!

It was announced in circle that Sir Rabbit is an avid op-shopper, having now shopped for Prince Valiant and the GM, putting them both in the “sartorial elegance” class. Any orders for splinter lunch gear, etc, will be gladly filled by Sir Rabbit.

 

 

Our stand-in RA, Cumsmoke passed on a message from  Rectum, stating that loved coming to Hash on Monday, enjoyed the running, the food and mostly the comraderie and fraternity, something that he will miss.

Prick of the week, handed over by Blue Card to none other than Flasher…this after some strong contenders being brought out to the front – Sir Slab for daring to try and infiltrate the Warriors wearing Lycra, Moonbeams for riding an electric bike on the Warrior rides, and Fuller Shit for supplying him with this dodgy merchandise…and the reason for Flasher trumping them??? Of course, for NO GOOD REASON!!

Ballpoint got a down-down for being from Adelaide…something to do with AFL or some other crap like that! Who gets all this football stuff anyway?

Moonbeams got a down-down as a fine for his electrifying antics on the Warriors rides but as he is medically incapable of drinking, Show Pony gladly stood in as proxy down-downer for Moonbeams, complaining that having to walk out to take his down-down was a longer walk than the one he’d just completed.

Ferrett got a down-down for putting then Councillor Grant Pforr in his place at a run last year in this very location, indicating to him that “we are the Gold Coast running club and we have authority to run in any park on the Gold Coast on Mondays” and he was believed!! Hahahaha!!

A highlight of circle was the proud presentation of a blue WARRIORS PREMIER CYCLING TROUPE vest to Moonbeams by Shat. Congratulations Moonbeams!!!! Wear it proudly…your fellow Warriors certainly do!

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly was complimented on his honesty in asking who had lost $20 that he had found and then proceeded to tell a crap joke about a similar topic!

Your friendly substitute scribe got a down-down for his uncanny likeness to the captain of the Sea-Shepherd.

 

 

 

 

 

That concluded our circle with the closure being called by Moonbeams.

On on,

Fanny Charmer