Author Archives: Botcho

Run 1992

Run 1992

Run: 1992

Date: 4-01-2016

Location: Paradise Point

Hares: Iceman

Runners: 29

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!!! Hope you all had a great break over the Christmas/New Year period and I expect that we are all ready to get back into some serious Hashing this year once again brought to you by your dedicated BTB Hierarchy (that’s “Back To Basics” guys, in case you didn’t already know!!). Tonight’s inaugural run of the year was brought to you by none other than Iceman, doing the whole lot on his own; that’s the run preparation and the nosh…a mighty fine effort there Iceman!

The Run:

We all gathered at the usual Paradise Point meeting place at the southern end of the park at the barbeque shelter and as the time for the run approached, out comes Sir Slab with two plastic containers of gingerbread men, lovingly prepared by Mrs Slab (Freddie) and which we all devoured to give us the requisite sugar hit necessary for the arduous run that lay ahead.

The run description from Iceman consisted of “you head up that way, follow the arrows and it goes in an anti-clockwise direction…it’s not too long and no, it doesn’t go through the Pine Ridge Conservation Park!!”…the latter bit of information being a relief as none of us had any desire to wade through waist-high water the way we did last time we ran from this location and when Flasher set the run.

Yours truly started off with all good intentions of doing the whole run, but after about 500 metres thought better of it and myself, Circumference and Sir Prince did our own “walk/jog”, following arrows until we lost the trail and then we meandered home. From the crowd that was already back at base camp when we got there, it was obvious that many of us decided to ease into the new year very gently!!  Of course there are the die-hards who haven’t let their fitness slip and they came in huffing, puffing and sweating quite some time later…well done Flasher, Miscarriage, Botcho, Rug and the others who took it somewhat seriously. I am reliably told that the walkers did about four laps of the barbeque shelter, caught their breath and sat down to get into the beers and the gingerbread men supplied by Sir Slab. I guess they did have a good excuse as it did start to rain shortly after we had all set off.

The Nosh:

Iceman, you are definitely in the running for “nosh of the year”, but then again it was the first of many to come!! In fine BTB fashion (kindly refer above for the meaning of the acronym), starters were several packs of assorted corn chips and dips and salsas…a fine start to any meal and there were certainly no complaints about it. See…you don’t have to do too much to impress this fine gathering of hashers!!

The mains was a mixture of bread rolls with lashings of butter, copious amounts of healthy salads (one of us was heard to mutter whilst waiting in line “I ain’t having any of that healthy green shit!”) and first-grade sliced ham with several varieties of garnishes available, including hot English mustard.  Many of us went back for seconds and at the end of the night, when Iceman announced that there was much ham left over and that we should take it home, like bees around a honeypot several hashers pounced with their pieces of foil at the ready, grabbing great quantities of sliced ham to take home. It was interesting to note that it was the more well-to-do hashers who participated in this mad feeding frenzy…maybe that is why they are well off…scrimp and save and live on left-overs…that would be right!!!

Dessert…another BTB classic…ice cream cones, plain vanilla ice cream, choc chips, hundreds and thousands and a fresh strawberry for each cone…a classic!!!! Elvis went back for thirds but found that by that time it had all been packed up!!

The Circle:

Some “thank you’s” at the start of circle…firstly, Sir Slab for the gingerbread men….as previously mentioned, they went down a treat. Secondly, a BIG thankyou to our new permanent member from Darwin, Sorry, for fixing our generator…he had to take it to bits to be able to replace a $5.00 part in it…the pull-cord. Thankfully he is fully trained in Honda engines, having been apprenticed to his father in Darwin! Brilliant effort Sorry, thank you!!

Next was an apology from Moonbeams…seems that he has fallen off his bike and has now “taken a bad turn”…sorry to hear this and hope you up and at it again soon. Sir Blackstump responded to this news with “don’t let him die!!! If he does it means I’m next oldest here and next in line..please don’t let him die!!”.

Truckie was asked to comment on the Nosh… “well, the hot English mustard sure cleaned the nostrils out!”

 It was announced that our newest hashman, son of Brewtus has finally been named…can you believe that it’s Harry William!!! Very royal flavour Brewtus….congratulations to you and Mrs Brewtus.

We then moved on the RA’s spot and Sir Two Dogs showed no mercy…firstly having a go at the gathering in general for all the 5 and 10 cent coins in the booze bucket…”who the fuck pays for a $3 beer with 5 cent coins???”….of course the answer is quite obvious..Flasher!!!

On the subject of Flasher, out the front he came for a down-down for the stupid email he sent (well, I thought it was funny!).

Jigsaw was the next victim for a down-down, for having buggered his knees quite severely due to the fact he now rides with cleats on his bike and forgot that you have to actually get at least one foot out of them when you come to a stop!!

VD was also brought out the front for his dicky knees which are no longer dicky…congrats on a good recovery and welcome back VD…sorry that you will be disappearing soon to Tassie to escape our awful humidity for a while.

Sir Slab came out the front to give a down-down to our infrequent runner Opium…who only runs with us when we set a run outside his house!! Welcome Opium!!

Truckie again was called out the front to account for another “lost wallet incident”…this time it was left somewhere in the Hunter Valley…he protested vigorously against this charge… “it wasn’t like you say RA, it’s all bullshit…you don’t know half the story!”…the point is there is ALWAYS a story when it comes to Truckie…thanks for making it fun mate!!

Finally…of course, Miscarriage had to have a bit of a rant and ridicule someone…poor Bluecard….apparently has a similar action when tackling an ice-cream cone as does the “watermelon boy” at the cricket…pull it up on Youtube..it’s gone viral apparently…and the final final word also from Miscarriage..in the absence of Moonbeams and Josephine…”end of circle”!!

That’s it for this week guys…welcome to 2016!

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

RUN PICTURE GALLERY

Run 1991

Run 1991

Run: 1991

Date: 28-12-2015

Location: Broadbeach

Hares: Latrine and Cumsmoke

Runners: 19

and the On Sec gets writers cramp! Well that’s his story, but as we say  “Why let the truth stand in the way of a good story”

A great night was had by all that attended. The nosh was bloody fantastic, Roast Turkey, salad, fruit salad and  a bottle of Benedictine to toast the night.

Well done.

On On

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RUN PICTURE GALLERY

Run 1990

Run 1990

Run: 1990

Date: 21-12-2015

Location: Surfers Paradise

Hares: Hierarchy

Runners: 39

Merry Christmas everyone!!!… It’s that time of year again…and no, it’s not bloody “happy holidays” or any other such politically correct expression…it’s merry bloody Christmas so a happy one to all Hashers and their families from yours truly and the rest of your BTB hierarchy (that’s “back to basics” btw)!!

 The lead-up:

 Thanks to all of those who undertook all of the preparation that went into making the Christmas run the success that it was, as it involves a lot of work, including discussions with operators of the various drink-stops, telling them that they have to cater for 35 Santas walking in en-masse at certain designated times and most importantly, the organisation of the venue for the dinner, so thank you Sir Two Dogs and Missing Link for the drink stop organisation and thank you Master of C.R.A.P, Nasty, for all your work in organising the venue for the dinner, Niccolini’s, which I am sure we all enjoyed.

The hiccup over which Nasty nearly had a heart attack, with the owner of Niccolini’s telling him at the last minute that having a girl with no top on would be entirely not acceptable, ended up working out OK, with our girl, Crissie, working the tables very professionally and I am sure that we all found her good fun! You will all agree that she was a good sport in the park before we set off to our drink stops!!

The “pre-lube” was held in the park above Bruce Bishop carpark, where our GM, Rug, had organised the nibblies, which consisted of smoked salmon and capers, olives, salami, humos, sausage rolls, chips, crackers and various other delicacies. A fine treat Rug, and thank you! We all devoured it with passion!!

The booze-masters, Brewtus and Weekly, were spared from having to drive tonight as they were capably assisted in getting the booze to the park by our Master of C.R.A.P, Nasty, again thank you for giving the guys a night off from driving.

It was pleasing to see that some of our more infrequent attendees came out of the woodwork to join in the festivities, including Elvis, Swollen Colon, Fucks Off and Big Mac, to name a few. Lurch, whose life has somewhat unravelled of late, was a late starter, missing all but the last drink stop so it was good to see him there too!

We all missed seeing Showpony on the night, wondering if he had taken to heart the debacle of the previous week and with some Hashers having heard that he was “going to give Hash a bit of a break…like about a year”…..come on Showpony, you’re one of us…we want you back…the debacle happened, you copped shit in true Hash fashion, you apologised and it’s all over…got it? It’s all over!!!  Future absences will be looked upon extremely unfavourably!!!

The “Run”

The first drink stop on the “run” tonight was at the Fiddler’s Green on Cavill Avenue where we all imbibed at leisure before moving on to the second drink stop, the Lansdowne Road Irish Tavern where our accompanying girl, Crissie, made a few eyeballs pop out when she started flashing some of the drinkers present…the incident with the two gay Japanese guys was funny….and speaking of Japanese, out of somewhere there appeared Miscarriage’s twin brother, funnily enough also dressed in a Santa suit and proceeded to chat up two Japanese girls sitting outside…the conversation did indeed look intense and I am sure that phone numbers were being exchanged….hmmmm….that reminds me that one of our Hashers…..no names mentioned, but newly single I believe, asked me for a certain participant’s phone number…and no, that participant is not a male!!…hmmmm.

From there we moved, after the regulation two pints each, along Surfers Paradise Boulevarde, through the Hilton complex and onto Cavill Mall for our final drink stop, Kitty O’Shea’s on Cavill Mall. Missing Link and yours truly had been advised by the manager of this establishment on our pre-run reccie of the drinkstops that our girl would be welcome and “as long as she stays inside the premises she can do what she likes” which meant that we were all treated to a bit of an “eye-full”, as were a couple of young blokes sitting at the bar who got a bit hot under the collar!!!…..now that is the sort of welcome we like from any venues we attend!!   Good fun had by all here!! From there, it was more mayhem and yahooing through the mall, wishing everybody good cheer, including the two “statue” buskers…on on to the dinner venue!!

The dinner and “circle”

Well, I will keep this brief, but what looked like being a total Hash debacle and quite frankly, a total “fuck up” ended up (as I predicted it would happen Link!) a corker of a night, with great food, plenty of wine and beer and with much merriment happening during the course of the dinner, one of the highlights being a very enthusiastic and animated rendition of “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”, led by Elvis, Caustic and Flasher….it was side-splittingly funny. An added bonus…the threatened intolerance regarding our girl never really happened and she worked the tables very capably, joining in the festivities and bringing a smile to a lot of the faces in the crowd!! Onya Crissie!!

Our esteemed GM got up on a chair at the end of the night for an impromptu circle and to thank everybody for coming and to wish all a Merry Christmas…I could have sworn he was talking jibberish thanks to the effects of alcohol….both on him and myself!!

Nasty, as Master of C.R.A.P you have excelled yourself…thanks a heap mate..I know you stressed it…told you it would all work out on the night…you certainly pulled a rabbit out of the hat!

Again…MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!

Fanny Charmer

On Sec.

RUN PICTURE GALLERY

December Splinter Lunch

December Splinter Lunch

Host: Caustic Crusader

Location: Broadbeach

Date: 18-12-2015

Hashers: 29

It was high noon as we gathered at the Envy Bar for pre lunch drinks. After a few cleansing  ales, it was then On On to the Little Malaya Restaurant.

Our Host for the day Caustic Crusader had organised a Thai Buffet for $25 per head and I might add that it was BYO beer, wine and no corkage. Great job Caustic!! I Had to feel a bit sorry for the other customers as we took over the joint  in our  usual Hash style. We could have been a bit loud at times.

Sir Rabbit was lost for words when it came to his customary closing speech so he had Nasty assist him. Aussie took his hat off in support of a great ventriloquist act. After lunch it was On On back to the Enyy Bar for a few more cleansing ales. The wise ones departed around five, except for a few…but that’s another story. Well done Caustic another day of Hash Fun and a few toooo many beers.

RUN PICTURE GALLERY

Run 1889

Date: 14/12/5015

Run: 1989

Location: Oxenford

       Runners:29

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Tonight’s run took place adjacent to one of my workplaces, the Oxenford Youth and Community Centre, which was indeed fortunate as a few of us had to make good use of the facilities in the centre tonight. The run tonight was brought to you by Flasher as the hare, who went to great pains to emphasise that he was only responsible for the run and had absolutely, repeat…absolutely NOTHING to do with the so-called “nosh” which was “prepared” by Showpony…and I purposely use inverted commas to describe it, but more about that later!!

It has been suggested to me that the run tonight should have been called the Jonestown Massacre run…and for those of you who were present, the following photograph may well remind you of what happened on Monday night…………..

jones town

…..yep, there were hashmen all over the place, in various states of gastro-intestinal disrepair!!….some normally hardy souls including Josephine, Sir Blackstump, Swindler, Magician, Sir Prince Valiant, Big O and Bent Banana all succumbed to the noxious offering which had been described as Show Pony’s Poisonous Pies” which we all thought was supposed to be a bit of a joke, but sadly gents, if it was meant to be a bit of a joke, it certainly backfired BIG TIME!!! I am told that never, repeat..NEVER in the history of hash has there been an intention to harm the participants, but quite frankly, many of us felt that this was indeed the case on Monday…..here is but one sample of several angry emails that I have received today…..

“those hares last night could have killed somebody; seriously. Blackie has had issues with a hole in his stomach, Big O is supposed to have had an ulcer and Now Loved is full of radiation. Josephine & Magician could have had a heart attack and they were obviously in serious discomfort, laying on the ground in agony.That prank may be suitable for adolescents but out of place for us old farts.
I had several good chucks when I got home, by forcing my finger down my throat, as I had serious stomach cramps”.

I can only sympathise with the writer of this email regarding trying to rid his stomach of its vile content because more than one of us tried to do the same thing after ingesting the SHIT that was dished out to us!!…as for whatever else was on offer, which I believe may have been chicken and prawns, well, fuck trying that for a joke!!! I personally was in too much pain and in quite some distress not only at my own pain, but at seeing others suffering equally if not more badly than myself to contemplate having either any of the mains or the dessert that was on offer…and I know that many of us felt the same way.

The run:

Given the events that followed the run, I could not even be bothered with gracing the run with any words….am I offending anybody by adopting this attitude??…see if I give a flying fuck!!! As far as I am concerned, whoever had anything at all to do with organising the debacle ought to seriously consider their future as hashmen, they really should…isn’t it supposed to be about mateship and having a good time together??? Well tonight demonstrated that some don’t give a shit for the welfare of their fellow Hashmen…to see those guys lying on the ground writhing in pain and not give a shit???……I am SO ANGRY!!!! ….and to then have the gall to laugh about it??? Give me a fucking break!! Personally if it had been me that had had anything to do with the events of tonight, I would make a point of absenting myself from Hash until the events of tonight had been long forgotten…SHAME, SHAME, SHAME ON YOU!!!

The Circle:

There were some funny incidents in Circle tonight, but all, in my mind at least, long forgotten and paling into insignificance due to the total fuck up that was tonight…all I can say is that the PRICK OF THE WEEK was well deserved and ought to stay with the recipient in perpetuity!!!

Don’t agree with anything I’ve said???….take it up with somebody who fucking cares!!!…want to have a go at me about what I’ve said???…ohh, please…as they say…have your go!!!

 

This Weeks Pictures

ON A PLEASANT NOTE TO END THE REPORT WITH…..WEEKLY’S SON BRADLEY WILL BE PERFORMING ON CHANNEL 9 THIS SATURDAY AT THE IGA CAROLS SO PLEASE ALL DO WATCH HIM!!!

 Fanny Charmer

On Sec.