Run: 1938

Date:22/12/2014

Location: Carrara

Hare: Sir AH

Runners:29

 

Christmas Run 1938 by Sir AH with Santa’s Little Helper

Editors Note:

Due to recents comments as to the credibility of the author and accurary of the written WORDS in future these ramblings will be renamed the TRUTH after a old time Queensland newspaper publication..for those not suffering from neuron degeneration and can remember, this was a newspaper we once had in Queenland that was reliable,honest, trustworthy and never ever let facts get in the way of a good story

 

Sir AH prays at his computer ..”Please , Please GM send me a Little Santa Helper”

Would the GM once again instruct the ever caring and thoughtful Hierachy to swing into action and make these unnecessary arrangments once again for a Santa Helper??

 

A high attendance of 28 GCHHH gathered near the Emerald Lakes Golf Club all excited about the prosects an expensive Christmas present from a Santa helper.

SANTA WARMS UP for the Run

 

It is always a good idea to stretch those hammies before the run!!

A great effort by Sir AH who spent several hours setting a special Christmas trail and walk.

At the pre-run briefing Sir AH started to explain how the run and walk was planned! Sir AH initial composure was quickly reduced to a totally confused state of mind!!

“I forget what I actually did ???”… he was heard mumbling to himself.

As there would be Christmas presents for all at the end of the run and walk, the 28 excited Hashers took off at full speed to get the run and walk over as soon as possible so they could come back and unwrap their Christmas presents.

 

A Bum of a Run

 

With the incentive to run as fast as possible a large group of walkers and runners all set off in the same direction on the well-marked trail.

The run crisscrossed around the golf course, up a small hill, across the bush, around the park etc etc etc. All rather predictable for the location but very well marked.

The first GCHH runners back and heavily sweating were Miscarriage and Flasher.

Botcho ,Truck Tyres , Bent Banana quickly followed with Sir Black Stump, Fanny Charmer ,Rug ,Ferrett ,Sir Slab and Shetland.

Miscarriage gave an unbiased run report “a very well-marked trail but who covered up the chalk arrows?”

It must have been an excellent run as no runners complained about the very short distance of the run so overall all agreed it was a very well planned run by Sir AH.

THE Waddling Walk AROUND THE GOLF COURSE

Sir AH advised that there may be a drink stop or even some golfers on the course waiting for them.These images projected by Sir AH certainly got the Walkers excited.

Blue Card who is reported to have a very good sence of smell in this area. He immediatly got to the front of the walkers followed by Circumference, Hard On ,Nasty, Fuller Shit , RockHard , Slug ,Shat, Big O ,Weekly, Kwakka ,ArseUp,Swindler & Jigsaw who were not letting Blue Card get out of their sight .

This evening the GM arrived late, canceeld the walk ( surprise surprise!!) and decided to stay at base camp and assist Sir AH prepare the Christmas banquet.

Good to see Show Pony out walking and but returned early from the walk to assist the GM on a very important procurement mission that was eventually aborted.

This was a well planned walk around the golf cousre which all walkers completed for the first time.

The Golf Course Location was well selected by Sir AH

The Nosh

Entree

  

 

Main

 

  

Desert

 

A first class nosh with excellent salads and all prepared on location. Great effort Sir AH. It just proved expereince does help!!

Report by food critic Circumference summed up the meal “ excellent handmade and fresh food ..say no more. This is a real contender for the Nosh of the Year”

 

The Christmas Presents

     

Sir AH gets his Christmas Wish from the ever caring Heirachy who provided Santa’s Little Helpers to assist in the distribution of the Christmas presents.

GM immediatly advised that there was to be no fondling the tits of Santas little helper’s.

The CIRCLE

D/D Returning Runners

• Ferrett – on another boat cruise junket but with a gift for the GM that again would touch him deeply
• ArseUp – busy working in HK
• Shetland – now has bus licence at last but not taking passengers
• Miscarriage – arranging our GCHash retirement beachfront home in Cambodia
• Big 0 – back from spending time with Her Majesty but not looking forward to a revisit

D/D

• Shetland – wearing hat in circle
• Flasher- assaulting Sir Slab with his beer at the Christmas party
• Big O – possible assault charges on Lurch
• Truck Tyres- left his phone in his shorts when he went for a swim
• Fanny Charmer- wearing T Shirt – Trust me I am a lawyer

Icings

  

The RA was away on urgent business meetings with his landlord after last week’s Christmas Run had destroyed his office declared that there would be no icings this week. However future retribution would be guaranted.

 

Useless T- Shirt Award

 

Missing in action

Hopefully it will re-appear soon as whoever has it is Useless and obviously deserves it??

Prick of the Week

Given by it owner Cumsmoke to Botcho who then forget to bring it.

Report by GM

GM in full Hash Formal dress called all to order and apologized for running late as his Christmas waxing appointment had taken longer than usual.

The first 6 months of the Hierarchy Year for the GM Kitchen Bitch in this honored position has been a torrid time full of fine gourmet meals, continuous hash fun, lots of laughs, heaps of action and impeccable organisation. The GM will take the well-earned rest over the festive season for that holidays he deserves with some of his friends. See if you can spot the GM in this group at a recent Mankini convention.

 

NOTE:

Next week run by Miscarriage Starts at 5pm

    

 

 

Enjoy the Christmas Season and try not to end up like this during the holiday season

 

End of CIRCLE ……. @ 8.50pm

 

Swindler

  Click on Santa for this weeks pictures

Run: 1937

Date:15/12/2014

Location: Broadbeach

Hare: Hierarchy

Runners:45

 

The Christmas 2014 Run 1937

Pre lube Location: Homeless Shelter near Kurrawa Surf Club Broadbeach

The Start of the Run

45 excited Santa’s gathered under the Kurrawa Homeless Shelter to discuss the spread of goodwill toward all .The Santa’s , all proudly wearing their Christmas T -Shirts decorated with photos of their revered Hierarchy, quickly began to embrace the Christmas cheer.

        

Thanks to Booze Masters Slug and Rockhard for providing Ice cold Crownies and the pre lube snacks lovingly prepared by Hierarchy Hare Master VD.  

With the sounds of ringing bells from the leading Hash Santa’s Sir Rabbit and Sir AH the large group of excited Santa’s were let loose on Broadbeach. They were led out by the Grand Master KB who directed them towards the Oasis to bring Christmas cheer to all

From here on this meticulously planned and choreographed event could only go one way!!!

Yes…you guessed. A total debacle with a series of unplanned events guaranteed to create havoc amongst this fine group of revelers

 

The Goodwill Stops

The very noisy group we led by the very excited hare Sir Slab. This happy group of Santa’s Helpers dispensed Christmas gifts to all and sundry along the way through the Oasis Mall, a couple of refreshment stops, a slice of Pizza bread and onto the G Link train towards that mystery destination. Just follow the trail to the destination were the instructions.

 

The Venue – the Lull before the Storm

   

The last few months of preplanning by Hierarchy was coming to the proverbial head to make this another memorable Hierarchy event. Excellent effort by RA Caustic in setting up his office as the venue. The Hierarchy enjoyed a quite relaxing beer in RA Caustic’s offices as they discuss the venue preparation and fine tune the evening format.

More excitement as on arrival each GCHHH was given an expensive Christmas gift of a Beer Holder complete with Hierarchy Photos ..a real treasured memorial hash gift that no doubt will become a collectors item.

And then the party got going – FOS says it all with Hard On, Now Loved & Seedy

 

The Music Man Sir Rabbit

If only they would let me turn up the music!!

Entertainment

Dream On on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Early in the Night

Once at the dinner venue, the beer and red wine flowed without restraint. All present were soon well oiled and eager for the party games planned by the GM.

As the night progressed so did the average alcohol level intake and the need to just wander around having a great time, becoming more and more under the weather and, well, obnoxious? There were mumbling, ‘He’s gotta go’.

For some reason Ferret was complaining about nothing happening and wanted to go home. Strange he decided to stay all night?? Show Pony & Moonbeams took up front row position so as not to miss any action while Blue Card, Rockhard and Now Loved received the Intensive care award for their ongoing thoughtful consideration all evening.
The Games

The Boat Race Team A & Team B

In all the excitement Flasher’s full beer went over the coach and judge Sir Slab.

Pin the Christmas Bauble on the Nipple

It was finally decided as an equal tie with all winners receiving a fine bottle of red wine.

As the Evening Progressed

 

Report from Capri on Via Roma:

It appears that last night just before 10pm the Centre Manager went out to lock-up the centre and he saw 3 men having a chat next to the bench seat near the main entrance. They continued to talk all the way along to the Post Office. One man was seen rapidly moving his arms trying to scratch his very sore and itchy back after recent major back surgery. Two others were trying to assist him but he wanted to scratch his own back as it was very sore so he asked them to leave him alone so he could personally scratch his own back.

The Centre Manager mistakenly for some reason interpreted the man’s behaviour towards those who were assisting him as aggressive and obnoxious behaviour. The Centre Manager then phoned the police and he gave them his interpretation of the situation. The Centre Manager then phoned security to let them know that police had been notified and were on their way.

There apparently was a staff and client Christmas party up on level 2 building 1. It appears that a couple of men may have possibly come downstairs as one of them was not feeling well during the party because of pain from recent major surgery on his back. The large elastoplast dressings on his back were becoming very sore and itchy on the wounds giving the impression that he was exhibiting aggressive behaviour.

The other 2 men then left the injured man in the car park and he was noticed staggering around possibly from the combined effects of drug medication and possibly alcohol. He apparently was walking in front of cars that were leaving the centre and was seen talking loudly to other people leaving through the car park. The police arrived and they approached him and asked him for identification and he spoke loudly to the female and male officers who then handcuffed him and arrested him. We suspect he has a hearing problem that causes him to speak loudly.

The police did call up to the Staff and Client Christmas party asking:
“Did anyone here witness a person being ejected and roughed up?’  “all present answered Nooooo.”  

‘Was anyone here involved?’  “again all present answered Nooooo.” …  

Shat very concerned asked one of the police, a policewoman, where is the guy now.  ‘In custody’, she replied.  Hhhmmmnnn

Report from inside the Staff party by an Unbiased GCHHH Observer:

At around 10pm a trigger finger point was moving towards an inevitable conclusion. Four of the GCHHH including Head Job & Missing Link assisted Big O down the stairway as he wanted to get out into the fresh air.  BIG O was in severe back pain as he was lashing out trying to scratch his back, struggling, kicking as they tried to help through the door and guide him downstairs.

One report was heard “I didn’t see what happened downstairs, though I’m told one of our blokes, Lurch, a giant of a man, slipped on the steps and fell on top of him and this temporarily pinned him down.

Anyway, the helpers all returned to the party and all returned to normal … until the police arrived.  Someone in the restaurant below had called the police about a man being in severe pain. We gather that when the police arrived at the party scene they found BIG O was in an unintelligible state and in agony. The police misinterpreted that he had assaulted some of those that assisted him.  The police then came upstairs and confronted the group.
Report Direct from Big O on events at Capri on Via Roma:

Yeah!!   Yeah!!   Yeah!! As he burst into happy song at the first drink stop: ‘My boomerang won’t come back, my boomerang won’t come back …’

Little did we know the pain he was in? To cheer him up Shat had invited Big O to the annual Gold Coast HHH Christmas Run, with everyone wearing Santa t-shirts & Santa caps.

What a brave soul is BIG O as the pathological check of the huge lumps surgically cut from near his spine showed it is very aggressive growth and they didn’t get it all. He was temporarily stitched up and has been called back for further intensive surgical procedures next year as they can’t fit him in this side of Christmas so just filled him up on strong medication.

To correct the course of events as above when the police came they were seeking the person(s) who BIG O had allegedly assaulted (not the other way round as was initially thought). It appeared BIG O may have mistakenly been seen as taking a swing at the police while trying to scratch his itchy painful back as he was heard howling in pain.

Big O advises that the police handcuffed him and he spent the night in the Southport lockup. He said they hurt the stitches in his back where he had the surgery, which caused him to resist arrest as he was in agony with the pain so on.  He is now obtaining a doctor’s report, including the effect alcohol has on the medication he was taking when this incident occurred.

He is charged with causing a public nuisance and is to appear in court on 13 January. It does appear from all reports he was in severe pain and heavily medicated so no doubt he will plead temporary insanity and hopefully get the charge against him dismissed.

The Aftermath Report by Caustic

The Centre Manager has kindly forwarded to RA Caustic the enclosed photos showing unauthorised setting up of a BBQ and the damaging of private property.

The Centre Manager also alleges he was personally pushed and assaulted by attendees at the Staff and Client Christmas Party when he making my way downstairs to go home last night. Did anyone notice this alleged event?

The Centre Manager also alleges he was further abused when he asked the BBQ personnel what was going on. Again did anyone witness this alleged event?

The Centre Manager advised to have also received phones calls from various people complaining about actions last night and this morning at the Staff and Client Christmas party. Can anyone assist us with information about any actions last night?

The Centre Manager respectfully reminded RA Caustic that Capri on Via Roma is private property and the absolute least he should have done is to advise management of our planned activities and invited him.

The Centre Manager advised that he will be sending RA Caustic a bill for the costs incurred in cleaning up the site and for his time dealing with this matter as well as Personal Damages for Loss of Face in not receiving an invitation to the best Staff and Client Christmas Party so far this year at Capri on Via Roma.

    

Well done to the GM and the Hierarchy for another high quality Hash event planned to perfection.

 

……………………………………10.30 pm END OF Party

 

Next Monday Run By Sir AH

Don’t miss another Hierarchy Sponsored Event

On On   Swindler

Click on Santa for Run Pictures

Run: 1936

Date:8/12/2014

Location: Broadbeach

Hare: Tranny, Bondage and Nasty

Runners:34

Hash Christmas Run on Monday 15th

 

Dress:   Hash Christmas T-shirt, Santa hat, red shorts with bells on sandshoes.

Venue & Start Time: 5pm Sharp Kurrawa Park (south of surf club) – don’t be late and miss the opening events

Book in now with Caustic $25 (Actual Value – priceless)

December Hash Formal Cocktail Party Report

Thanks to the hard working Hierarchy for creating an amazing event – another great Hash Night

A special thanks to Weekly for arranging his son Bradley Pavarotti to sing on the night.

Virgin Broadbeach Run 1936 with Tranny & Bondage

With ex virgin Nasty as the Live Hare

Promoted by the Virgins as a run in Virgin territory? Who are these virgins kidding!!.

34 excited athletes circled around the nervous hares as they issued the run instructions.

“Just follow the live hare as the run markings were washed out due to the storms”

“Sorry but the drink stop with the promised entertaiment is also cancelled”.

Yes..a great start for these virgins ..a total Fu..k Up from the start.

Would this run even rate on the scale of recent hash runs ??

In the wash-up it was noted that there were only 13 runners following the Hare with 21 walkers ffollowing the GM of which 14 walkers ended in the broadbeach bar with GM and Sir Prince.

 The Live Hare Run

Tranny & Bondage had spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked Broadbeach run. Tranny advised that he would sweep the trail to prevent any hashers losing their way (can you believe that he could even think this). But he obviously knows the age of many of the hashers and this was a very considerate plan for this virgin territory trail!

The runners quickly settled in behind the hare bike and while the walkers went in the opposite direction towards the Boardbeach hotel.

First runners out behind the hare were Bent Banana, Rug , Circumference ,Fanny Charmer and Botcho.

It was good to see that Sir Slab had fully recovered from the severe accident on the trail last week and was running well. Josephine was seen looking for the checks that did not exist .

On On was then called several times on the run as the group all moved toward Pac Fair they were saved by Sir Black Stump with his assistance to get them going the right way. Truck Tyres and 2 Dogs soon became leading runners.

Some runners this week did most of the run and it was by all accounts an excellent run for the 2 virgins.

The run time was 35.65 minutes..Run distance 5.55 km.This all the information we have as 2 Dogs advised his GPS failed in the Pac Fair car park. However elevation could not be measured but it noted that it was the height of the escalator at Pac Fair.

Flasher with Two Dogs somehow managed to get back first again ..well done. Brewtus ,Lurch and Missing Link came in next in 37.9 min followed by and Truck Tyres and Fanny Charmer in 38.69.

It was reported that Jospehine ,Sir Black Stump, Circumference and Rug took the short cut and did not do the full run.

Run Critic Sir Slab “ The Hares put in a lot of effort and with no experience this was a great effort but again failed to provide a drink stop”.

Circumference also got in on the act and commented “Amazing how the Virgins found new territory after all the runs from here”

Botcho confirmed new territory..”first time GCHHH had ever run the bitumen road in Ventura Street”.

Great effort Tanny & Bondage for an excellent run.

The Walkers

                  

One of the biggest group of Walkers ever from GCHHH went in the opposite direction to the Runners.

The dedicated professional walkers led again by Grand Master and RA Caustic with Kwakka , FOS ,VD , Shat, Seedy , Swindler, Caustic, ,Sir AH all moving in one direction towards the Broadbeach Hotel for the proposed drink stop. They were very surprised to see that Sir Rabbit and Sir Prince were already there waiting for them.

Hard On ,Slug ,Weekly, Jigsaw, Blue Card , Shat ,Now Loved and Pile Driver all completed the walk in record time to also meet at the drink stop.

Comraderie continues for these dedicated Hash Walkers.

The CIRCLE

The Grand Master made a GM decision due to lack of food and what was looking to become a complete debacle called the Circle Up Now instructions.

Immediatly Ex GM “feather duster” Now Loved was given a DD for talking over the top of the GM.

Shat was unable to control his excitement at getting his Christmas T shirt with heirachy photoes and immediately spilt red wine all over it..another DD

Then the food arrived..

CIRCLE SUSPENDED

The Nosh

 

For the Hare Tranny and Nosh Chef Bondage it was always going to be a hard act to follow after the recent excellent efforts. Would these virgins be voted “The Best Nosh of the Year?”

It was unlimited help yourself food so many had second helpings as long as you got in quick.

Resident food CriTic Shat asked what the secret ingredient in the potato bake was corRect when he said “LARGE amounts of Salt “

Jospephine did comment that it was nice to find a potato in the Potato Bake.

Well done Bondage for using this secret recipe that has been tightly held in your family for many YEARS. You provided the meal with NO outsourcing…a Great effort that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of quality and true HASH nosh in AN excellent location.

CIRCLE REOPENED

DD to:

• Flasher & Truck Tyres for sitting down in circle
• Bondage ,Tranny & Nasty as Nosh Chef ,Hare and Live Hare
• Sir Rabbit for supply of great music at the cocktail party
• Rug for tempting Miss SA with a beagle
• 2 Dogs for his skill at fixing the temprite and saved the Cocktail party.
• Rockhard for dangerous driving after the cocktail party
• FOS for call beyond duty by helping at Cocktail party set up
• Seedy, Bondage & Tranny as returning runners.
• Sir Black Stump for over achievement in the winning the over 60, 0ver 65 ,Over 70 and Over 75 Triathlon.
• Wallflower Awards to Botcho ,Iceman , Kwakka, Sir Rabbit , Sir Prince and Pile Driver

Useless Shirt

 

Last week’s awardee Truck Tyres proved a worthy recipient as he forget to bring it tonight

Prick of the Week

Cumsmoke who last week got the POW registered as the unhealthiest Hasher of the month at the Phantom blood pressure run decided to stay away this week for some reason ??.

Report of Grand Master- KB

Yes .this is our GM enjoying the beach walk as he promises that this year it will be his goal “to get fit with great walks followed by Gourmet food that he will personally supervise.”

This week our GM walked all the way to the Broadbeach pub and back. Great effort GM

The GM had personally promised to assist the Virgins to ensure that this week’s run was not as predictable as suspected. Greta work GM to get the run back on track to erect the tent and lights. Another success!!!

GM advised:

Sir AH run week 22^nd December not to be missed as Santa’s little helper will be there!!. Everyone to bring a $5 Xmas present

Next Splinter lunch at Latin Quarter hosted by Sir Slab on 19^th Dec

 

End of CIRCLE …….by Josephine @ 8.58 pm

 

 

Swindler