Author Archives: Botcho

Run 1957

Run: 1957

Date: 4/5//2015

Location: Carrara

Hares: The Sirs

Runners: 39

Run 1957 – The Sirs Run. Gold Coast Hash Birthday. It all started just around the corner from tonight’s location, way back in 1978.

hash first run venue

The #1 run venue has long gone.  Surfers Paradise raceway

The Sirs Run…it was always going to be a special one, wasn’t it? All of us had fond memories of last year’s Sirs Run from Sir Rabbit’s house and the delectable (no, I am not kidding!) English sausages that he provided. Apparently, and tragically, I am assured by Sir Rabbit that they are no longer available.

Tonight’s run started with the hash trailer having to be expertly manoeuvred through the gap in the fence and into the park off Hickey Road at Carrara. There were millimetres to spare and as yours truly was at the back of the trailer, pushing on it so it didn’t roll down the hill at breakneck speed, several other hashers were at the other end pushing it down the hill!! Nearly a hash debacle with yours truly almost squashed under the trailer.

The troops gathered and Sir AH proceeded to put up a giant galvanised pipe flagpole, strapping it to the lightpole above the barbeque area and shorting out the light in the process! Luckily we are totally self sufficient for power with the hash trailer.

When the trailer flaps were put up we all looked on with astonishment at the sight of the new tables and chairs. Gone were the crappy black chairs that were all falling apart, all replaced with beautiful new red padded chairs and mould-free tables!!

The RUN:

A record number of runners set off for a run that had been set by Sir Slab, who swept the trail on his mountain bike, ensuring that we did not stray too far off course. As there had been about half a metre of rain over the weekend, we knew we were in for it in terms of mud and other shiggy. We were not disappointed and the run went through some quite treacherous territory, but luckily no mishaps by Miscarriage or other runners. All got back safe and sound, albeit a little soggy and muddy, but all agreed it had been a great run. Two Dogs and yours truly clocked it at 6.5km. Sir Blackie must have found the run boring because he engaged in frivolous shenanigans, including stomping past runners in the muddy bits, throwing up mud and slush all over us and on several occasions also trying to shove runners in order to throw them off balance and fall into the mud. Luckily nobody succumbed to these vile tactics!!

There were a record number of runners tonight, approximately 20!! Congratulations guys and nice to see the less than frequent runners such as Arseup, Cumsmoke, Pile Driver, Latrine and Seedy running with us tonight

A last comment about the run was that it kept the runners together, including, unbelievably…Flasher!! At one stage we all thought we must have been off trail and on one of Flasher’s wild goose chases as he stayed with us all the way!

The walkers all complained that Shat had gotten them totally lost in the backblocks of Carrara, at one stage being heard to mutter the words “Errr…I think I’ve got the map upside down!!”. Four hardy souls apparently did the full walk…hmmm…so 4 walkers plus 20 runners equals 24…take that away from the 39 attendees tonight and that makes 15 others who probably just hung around and drank all of our red wine!!

The NOSH:

The sirs did NOT disappoint…starters were some lovely spring rolls and dumplings, all fried to perfection in the hash woks. Sir AH walked around serving everybody and making sure we all got some of the goodies. Main course was a lovely Thai style chicken curry with vegetables and bamboo shoots and with rice cooked to perfection, although somebody had the audacity to complain that it was “gluggy”…don’t listen to them Sir Rabbit..it was great!…as were your sausages last year! Latrine was effusive in his praise of the Nosh…what a gentleman! Sir AH excelled himself in the preparation of desserts…lovely jelly and fruit cups topped with flavoured yoghurt…and Mrs Charmer enjoyed some of the left overs that I took home to her!

The CIRCLE:

First things first….Weekly was called out and immediately iced for telling the GM to fuck off! Argument ensued for several minutes as to why Weekly considered it necessary to have uttered those words but this won him no favour and the ice it was! Visitors and returning runners were welcomed and the GM was showered with gifts, however undeserving and unappreciative he may have been!

The GM announced that due to the black hole in hash finances now being so huge due to the purchase of the new hash furniture, the Paris trip for the hierarchy is now cancelled.

Congratulations were given to all the Sirs on their great run and nosh…well deserved it was too!

Returning runners this week are Flasher, Pile Driver, Seedy and Miscarriage. Visitors are son and step-son of Sir Prince and their friend Matthew from the UK. Welcome guys and a well deserved down-down for bringing our average age down considerably.

Mme Latrine was called out to the front and castigated by the RA for his antics at the Splinter Lunch, essentially draining everybody else’s bottles of wine! The icing that he received was however not for that but for his deviant act in seat-sniffing…those of you who are interested can obtain more details from the RA at your leisure…the details should not go into print lest they offend some of our non-hash readers!

Truckie was, as usual called out to the front and iced, this time for sending a stupid email to Missing Link about the car rally. It is in the carpark of Outback Australia that we are meeting, is that perfectly clear Truckie??

P.O.W passed from Iceman to Flasher this week, for the offence of breaching carpooling protocols. The Useless shirt has gone walkabout with none of us having any idea who has it!!

Moonbeams performed his usual duty at the END OF CIRCLE. (He actually tried to do it about half an hour before circle closed!)

I think that is all I can think of this week…

Signing off for now…

fanny charmer2

Fanny Charmer

Substitute to the Substitute to the Hash Scribe

Link to Hash Pictures

Run 1956

Run: 1956

Date: 27/04/2015

Location: Paradise Point

Hares: Ice Man

Runners: 36

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Anzac Day Road Bike Victim Recovering in Hospital.

 

It appears that Nasty was the victim of a malicious act by a person or persons unknown who placed a large rock on the road to slow down speeding cyclists.

 

Missing Link who rode passed the large rock at great speed in excess of 35Km /hr. failed to notify 2 Dogs who was following close in his tailwind at 34km/hr. and about to pass him.

 

It appears that 2 Dogs who was so busy concentrating on passing Missing Link who was hot on his back wheel at 40Km/hour and about to pass them both, that he failed to notify Nasty of the impending disaster as 2 Dogs swerved to miss a rock that has been strategically placed on the bikeway.

 

2 Dogs returned to scene of the crime after the ambulance conveyed the damaged and shocked Nasty to the Gold Cast hospital to collect the evidence. He proudly displayed the evidence at hash on Monday night after telling the police he would return it to them after the hash meeting as evidence.

 

The lead police investigator has several suspects including Sir Slab who some unknown person alleged had placed the rock on the bike trail when he set the trail. It was alleged that Sir Slab was concerned that the Warriors would catch him! However this claim has been rejected as hearsay by the police with no foundation whatsoever and was totally dismissed.

 

It appears that Warrior Nasty may be out of action for a few days with major shoulder reconstruction surgery. We hope he gets well soon and returns to join the Warriors.

 

It was reported by the reliable and honest 2 Dogs that as Nasty hit the ground he was heard to scream out  “Bellatores vivat “!!!! (or in English …Long Live the Warriors )

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                     ….the rock                                                                     …. the injury

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                 …… the victim

Magician Survives Earthquakes in Katmandu

Hi There y’all’

Both Down Under Wear and Magician are fine here in Nepal. Been here for 2 weeks now and just finished the Annapurna Base Camp trek. All our HASH training has been put to good use. Helping out where possible.

Pretty chaotic here at present but life moves on pretty quickly here in Asia. Choppers continuously overhead, Not a “Danger WET FLOOR” or any red and white tape or any signs “Beware of large crack in the Ground” or any OH&S personnel to be seen anywhere. Pot holes and cracks all over. Just deal with the situation in front of them. The earth moved yet again last night at 2 am-at first thought it was Magician’s guts which have been playing up lately.

On a lighter note Magician, and oh yes DUW, survived the night in the local “garden” with the farmyard animals and itinerant Trekkers (remarkably similar to a Hash circle) and has just made a meal of a whole boiled egg.

Upside is the kg’s are just falling off Magicians now athletic frame and Michelin man has now morphed into a prime Thai cage fighter.

83 kg down to 77 kg and still trending down.

Plan is to fly to Paro in Bhutan tomorrow but highly unlikely so plan B is another trek in the Annapurna region getting there on the 10 hour local bus again. Can’ t leave for 2 more weeks so “The journey continues”

All that HASH training has been put to good use. Oh yes the Gorka beer is warm.

ON ON   Magician & Down Under Wear

Editor Update:

The Magician has pulled it off again!!! It appears now Magician & Down Under Wear will be evacuated from Nepal by RAAF Hercules to Vietnam, There he will be able to make full claim on holiday expenses under insurance so he can return at a later time to resume his vacation.

Run 1956 by Iceman at Paradise Point

27 April 2015

[fvplayer src=”http://www.goldcoasthash.org/wp-content/uploads/run-1956.mov” width=”568″ height=”320″]

38 hashers including 2 visitors eagerly waited for the run information from Iceman. No one was really sure the complicated run information from Iceman but he was overheard to say as he had spent all day in the kitchen preparing gourmet food for the nosh instead of outsourcing the food so he had minimal time to set the run.

As you can see from the video the explanation is almost impossible to understand!! See if you can work it out how you can have 3 different runs?

Once again those excited words from Iceman as runners and walkers got instructions “to go that way for more detailed instructions??”..work that out!!.

The Run

The Runners with detailed instructions from Iceman then raced out in front of the walkers lead by Bent Banana and Botcho.

This may be for first time in recent Hash Run memory that Iceman’s plan may work as the runners and walkers grouped up under the bridge.

A slow amble across the road by the runners as they discussed what the arrows really meant .Then On On was called by 2 Dogs who seemed to know the trail.

Sir Black Stump reported it was a well-marked run with lots of chalk and a very good run even though it was short.

2 Dogs as always providing highly accurate information advised that the run was total of 4.84 Fu*#@ up and not the 9.6km promised by Iceman. He did note that most did not find the true trail so set and well hidden by Iceman.

He commented on the double arrows, false trail, check, false trail check, check back and here they were 4km later at the trailer.

For a change the detailed instructions and so called well-marked trail resulted in a total run Fu#%@ up.

Well done Iceman for unique run in the local area where many runs have occurred but no one could follow your trial.

The Run Finish

The tight finish with Ballpoint, Brewtus, Bent Banana, Josephine, 2 Dogs, Circumference, Rug, Fanny Charmer, Veteran, and Botcho in with the group of returning runners all at the same time.

Sir Black Stump maintained he did the whole run and that’s why he was back so late..he did note that he could not find any arrows so really not sure where he went !!!

Due to the short trail and good location no one was lost and within 28 minutes all runners were back to the trailer and to start finishing off the free red wine supplied by Sir Rabbit to celebrate his 1600 run. Great effort Sir Rabbit

The Long Walk

Shat reported that it was an excellent walk and for the first time in while that a walk had been actually well marked. Show Pony back on deck at last enjoyed the walk guided by Hard On, Slug, Rockhard, Sir AH and Swindler. Hard on immediately had a red wine as he viewed the missing Anaconda Sign.

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The Winners Circle

The RA quickly got the Nosh Chef & Hare Iceman into the circle for a detailed explanation of the run and nosh.

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The Losers Circle

“If only I could have run faster” commented Josephine “I would have beaten Botcho and 2 Dogs but I think I was the only one who did the full run.

The Great Aussie BBQ by Chef Iceman

At last a return to Gourmet Food as Iceman thought he looked set to take the pole position as Nosh of the Year.

Iceman advised that a large amount of pre hash food preparation was involved with top quality food, food quantity, presentation, time etc etc The Nosh had been produced as a result of his working all day in his kitchen.

Will this be the Nosh of the Year?

Grand Master Kitchen Bitch obviously very impressed at the quality and volume of the Nosh took over from Resident Food critic Rug and personally inspected each dish in great detail and gave the positive THUMBS UP!!

The Great Aussie BBQ Trailer Nosh Menu

  • Snacks from Aldi with dips to feed the immediate hungry ..great dips
  • Fresh Ham on Bone topped with mustard on French bread. delicious
  • BBQ meat patties & fresh bread rolls ..cooked to perfection
  • Fresh Chips & Fresh Salads .fresh and delicious
  • Pavlova, ice cream cones with sprinkles. ..sensational

6 7 8

The GM advised that Iceman well and truly produced the Nosh goods and produced a Gourmet Nosh. But for sure it was well over budget so thanks Iceman. Great to have back the Trailer Nosh Gourmet Food Quality.

Well planned and organised Iceman as the BBQ was excellent.

Josephine who has a the copyright on burgers did comment that “you should not have meat in the burgers”

The Circle

The group circled around the GM and Caustic in anticipation of another pending announcement with more freebies for the Hash members at the AGPU.

No such luck for RA Caustic once again immediately gave orders to the Booze Masters to prepare warm ice for any major or more particularly minor misdemeanour.

Icing Vengeance at its worst as RA Caustic goes into his final icing rage

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Iceman ,You did not deserve this after the efforts of great Trailer Nosh and good run.

 

GM gave recognition for 2500 runs. Sir Rabbitt 1600 runs and Ferrett 900 runs with a DD. Then followed more DD

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  • Visitors Opium and Blow Job
  • Returning runners Swindler & Crocodile
  • 2 Dogs for assisting Nasty after the fall into the ambulance
  • Iceman for telling a joke “ it was a Fuc#%*..ing good run”
  • Rug for poor behaviour at Splinter Lunch
  • Link for failing to warn 2 Dogs of the Rock

POW

Awarded by Fanny Charmer to Iceman after a great deal of deliberation and listing several deserving recipients who were not attendance the finally was left with only Iceman for giving a very short run. (Iceman, you did not deserve this !!!)

GM Report

  • Next week run by Sirs.another great run guaranteed. Need your GPS as in the bush
  • Bent Banana advised that Thirsty Thursday Weekend run soon as a …“Hash Weekend not to be missed “camping out at Canungra.
  • The GM advised that his missus attended her first hash function last weekend at the Anzac day bike ride. Thanks to Hard On advising Mrs KB of the Mankini episode it will also be her last Hash function.

At 9.20 after much laughter & frivolity it was the those familiar words of Ferrett that echoed over the assembled mob ……… End of CIRCLE

Link to Hash Pictures

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16Swindler

 

 

 

April Splinter Lunch

Run: April Splinter Lunch

Date: 24/04/2015

Location: BroadbeachIMG_2355

Hosts: Moonbeams & Kitchen Bitch

Attendees: 33

This months lunch we  Celebrated Moonbeam’s  birthday. What a fun day great food, better company.

Speeches were few. Red wine, we all had a few tooooooooo many !! But what a day.

Our Splinter Grand Master Sir Rabbit had a few words to say!

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Nasty helped out with a few words of his own. View video

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Moonbeams replied…

Today I turned 75.

(I think I heard him say, or was that 76)

My hearing’s still good. What’s that you say?

My body’s still working quite well thanks.

My hair’s not too grey, my wrinkles are few,

I can’t touch my toes with my knuckles any more.

But who bloody cares

I’m quite full of vigour, just getting ripe.

I feel really good.

But thanks for asking

I love a beer or two and a glass of red.

My eye sight is good

But they now print the phone book in much smaller type.

My hearing’s still good. What’s that you say?

Speak clearly, don’t mumble, your voice wafts away.

Inside this old body I’m still young, but then

If life starts at forty, I’m really just thirty five or is it thirty six.

Thanks for coming I hoped you enjoyed your day.

Now I have to say!!

Go home you bastards and enjoy another day.

Link to Hash Pictures

On On

Botchobotcho_logo

Run 1955

Run: 1955

Date: 20/04/2015

Location: Main Beach

Hares: Carefree

Runners: 30

Run Report

ANZAC SPIRIT…..HASH SPIRIT….AUSSIE SPIRIT

Hareline extraordinaire VD deserves much credit for having the game plan, the nouse, the big idea of making CareFree the ‘Hare’ for the ‘Anzac Centenary’ Hash run. What foresight, what creative genius! True, many on the Gourmet Hash had questioned the decision but it became crystal clear that this was VD wisdom par excellence. The “absolute bloody debacle” (thanks very much SPV) of WW1 beautifully re-enacted by a man who lived through its most torrid and terrifying moments….and survived, battered and bruised, to live and tell the tale.

It is no secret that CareFree has long held the desire to one day ‘pass on the experience’ of his time on the Front line fighting the enemy, fighting for freedom, fighting…. for Australia.

Last Monday, Run 1955, Carefree’s dream became a reality.

It’s fair to say that the Gods smiled on him that day as the heavens opened up and cat and dogs pissed down on the pack as it assembled, much like the allied forces at Gallipoli, on Main Beach.

-“This is what it was like when we hit the Anzac Cove shore fellas” explained an emotional, choked up CareFree. “It was dark and it was wet and we were bloody cold. The storm made it impossible to see ahead of us so we stumbled forward aimlessly until we got to the cliff face.” He continued: “For tonight’s run; head down the beach for about a ‘k’ then head inland towards the bridge and then try to find your way home.”

But this would prove too big an ask for even the most hardened hashers; Swollen Colon was first to hoist the white flag and retreat back along the beach.

-“Fuck that” he said, “I lost me way a bit up the beach and came across this sign ‘BEWARE THE BIG BOA’. That was it for me.”

Not Tonight (Josephine) and Circumference followed, wet and muddy and holding up a buggered Rabbit.

-“Rabbit’s fucked” said a circumspect Circumference, “he can’t go on. We’re takin’ him back to camp for a beer and a good lie down.”

The rest was a procession in ramble retreat. No one found the washed-out trail and only a few found the bridge. Fanny Charmer found nothing, wondering aimlessly in the dark but smiling nonetheless. Eventually, in dribs and drabs, they made their way back… hopelessly lost, miserable, knackered… but happy to be alive.

Asked to comment on the campaign, Two Dogs struggled for words:

-“Difficult……………to know what to say really. Me mum taught me to say nothing if it wasn’t something nice so perhaps ‘a fucking fiasco’ is the best I can think of. I mean, it was a mess: blokes running around like chooks with no heads. A bloody disaster, we got smashed.”

A non-repentant CareFree explained:

-“When Admiral Commander Churchill ordered us to prepare for the assault I could see it was a fucked idea so I told him to go jump in the lake. There was no fucking way I was scrambling up that ridge with the fucking Turks taking pot shots at me. Winnie got plenty mad, imploring us to do it “for the Queen” but I never budged. I told him to go fuck himself, and his Queen while he was at it.”

BlueCard was asked to comment on the tucker and he too was found wanting:

-“Interesting…………” he said pensively “grizzle and gravy…… CareFree deserves much credit for cooking an authentic war dish but for me there was a distinct lack of protein and nutrients. Even on the Front, you could rely on the odd rat and a few mice to throw in the pot. That would have helped I think.”

GM KB ordered the troops into Circle formation and promptly requested Sir Arsehole to account for his lengthy ‘leave of absence’.

-“Convalescing Grand Master” said SAH. “My war injuries are coming back to haunt me. Incidently, I was on that same ship when CareFree give Church that gob full. I remember thinking then that if I happened to survive this war then I’d go live in Australia, a place which questions authority and values freedom of speech. I owe a great debt to CareFree and his ilk.”

RA Caustic was passed the baton and immediately called Swollen Colon in on the heinous charge of ‘deserting his Aussie mates’. His excuse that “I’m shit scared of snakes” was howled down and he was given a ‘down’. Fanny Charmer was charged for having the audacity to ‘question’ the generosity of the Hierarchy. Having ‘won’ a bottle of the best Stellenbosch Shiraz for his impersonation of a Chinese sportsman the previous week, Fanny decided to impress his better half with a fabulous French feed. But upon charging their glasses in celebration, a dismayed FC found that it contained water instead.

His indiscretion was further rewarded with the Prick-of-the-Week.

A thoughtful but very sad Truck Tyres (veteran of both the Korean and Vietnam Wars) was invited to pass on the USELESS garb.

-“Nothing disappoints me more than blokes deserting their mates. It is the lowest of the lows, totally bloody un-Australian. Swollen Colon deserted his mates and for that he stands condemned….. And he’s useless to boot!

And on that sober note, Moonbeams ended proceedings.

 

On2

BallPoint

The Nosh

Carefree prepared something call snake hot pot

snake_1

snake_2

Link to Hash Pictures