Run 1861
Date 1/7/13
Hare Rectum
Venue Mount Tambourine
About 20 runners turned up with Miscarriage turning up during the run and then having the temerity to castigate all and sundry for having gone without him; notwithstanding the fact that he was late.
The night was not one for the faint hearted as we could no be criticised for thinking we were at Everest base camp. Rectum’s sail making skills saved the night. The hardy turn ups were rewarded with an on the house dinner, fine that it was, due entirely to the cohersive skills of Blackie and the Grand Masters’ benevolence.
Circle was called and all huddled around trying to keep out of view of Shat (prick carrier).
Grand Master thundered that the wet weather sooks would be brought to account at another time.
Truck Tyres rated the run as good for what he saw of it.
Two Dogs commented on the nice bush and having run 4 Kilometres in 32 minutes rated it an 8/10.
Prince leapt straight into his role as food critic stating the dessert as somewhere between a brick cake and a rock cake. Stuffed up though mistaking garlic bread for pizza; hope yet. Rated it close to 8.
Link, not to be outdone, rated the garlic bread the best he had ever had: first time probably. Rectum did the obligatory Down Down.
Croc gave the walk 10/10 and being so fit didn’t even raise a sweat. Red cheeks though at the start of Circle.
Two Dogs , resplendent in his Racoon hat, knocked up 900 runs. Just think, in four to five years he could be Sir Dog. Great effort considering the sabbatical.
Blackie was called out, looking not unlike Rasputin and did Two dogs effort over by 92 runs. Down Down’s for both.
Returning runner R.A. was called up admitting to cavorting around Cambodia and copped a Down Down.
Grand Master, in from the cold, stated that all the considerable powers of H.A.S.H (Harrow All Suspicious Happenings) ,would be employed to find who instigated the petition ,calling for the Hierarchy to be tossed out. Insurrection he growled Someone threatened to use a banana on Banana in a most uncomfortable way.
R A duly stepped forward and offered a lot of advice and musings.
Reference was made to US spy planes, prison brothers, before moving to Cambodia and family hotel rooms, young tour guides, accompanying hashers, Testicles, Slut and Flasher representing us admirably, Rabbit as roving Ambassador, the run being the worst in twenty years, plastic plates in fires.
DD’s to Rabbit, Prince, R.A., Show pony.
R.A. had to fess up to offering very generous hands to the young 42 GG maiden who Prince had been looking after. Very touching.
DD to Prince over dog bowl, a howling success.
Rug and Flasher exposed on TV despite Flashers efforts to go off tangent. 40 minute planned interview converted to 4 hours 76 minute actual interview to 13 seconds of coverage.
Prick of the week held over due to those being there, the chosen few loyal GM followers, not being big enough pricks to carry off the award.
Swindler lined up for kicking over his Moose hat brought very cheaply in Beijing.
Rectum quiet rightly lamented the girlish attitude on show and the pathetic excuses offered as reasons for non attendance.
.On On Hard On