Run 1849
Date : 8th April 2013
Hare : Sir Rabbit, Sir Slab, Sir Prince and Sir AH
Venue : Sir Rabbit’s Bar and Grill, Chirn Park
Runners 29, that is not a typo

Weeks to the first State of Origin game – 8

Initially intended as a Rock Hard organized event, as no one could locate his whereabouts, the Sirs took over with little notice. Well, when I say the Sirs took over, I mean Sir Rabbit picked up the mantle and attempted to spread the workload, Sir Prince Valiant invented a last minute excuse to get on a plane, Sir AH had only a trifling involvement which meant that Sir Slab discovered that it is impossible to delegate when you are a team of one.

Unaware of this hashing game of Old Maid, a veritable multitude of eager hashers swarmed the venue on what, in the main, were great conditions to run in. Several returned to the fold after absences, noticeably Shat who appears to come back home weeks after everyone else has finished the group trips. Alzheimer’s a bitch.

Sir Slab sent us on our way on a trail which was remarkably similar to the run of Josephine’s a few weeks ago and who’s route I shall not bore you with. Mainly because I cant remember it and secondly as I got lost by Smith Street and ended up mistakenly following Veteran home on what appeared to be the walkers out trail? Despite my failings, several others (with torches) found the trail and were pleased with the overall duration and layout of the event.

As we awaited the nosh I was informed that Sir Prince had reneged on his agreement to purchase cheap sh#t mince from the pet food supplier (sorry that should read ‘Super butcher’) causing Sir Rabbit to over spend (heads will roll). Nor did he manage to prepare the vegetables. That’s what happens when you have already cooked about fifteen times so far this year.

The clock ticked over eight pm and all was not well, stomachs were audibly grumbling and the only aperitif seemed to be the hordes of flying insects committing ritual suicide onto the search light. That’s right, the starters were a nonstarter.

The main course was a self served Chilli con Carne containing ‘Bongo’ chillies (was that another reference to the drum theme which kept showing its head?) it couldn’t be a reference to some earth shattering heat factor as everyone demolished their portions and seconds were not available. That might have been the case if the meal had been padded out with carbs – rice, potatoes or bread but the recipe came from the Atkins Diet, so meat only, not even any greens (from the man who whinges whenever greens are not served).

My only complaint was the failure to serve the meal with a ‘possibility of follow through’ warning, as during the course of Tuesday morning I was tooting like a train, possibly a little too enthusiastically, when I had a near Shart experience. (that’s a half sh*t, half fart for those with sheltered upbringings).

Too monstrous sized bowls contained Sir AH’s self-made trifles, which had innovatingly used lamingtons for the sponge layer. The sun appears to be shining on our recent trifle offerings, quite a change from that dark day at Helensvale.

Circle called by the GM and Rock Hard lambasted for being soft and conveniently overseas whenever its his turn to host.

DD’s to Sir Rabbit, Sir Slab, Sir Prince and Sir AH for their team effort in tonight’s festivities, also to Show Pony but not sure why.

Miscarriage who was recently anointed as the king of superlatives, commented on the run – Very good, excellent, magnificent, great. I think he may have liked it 9/10
Pile Driver (good to see you back) proclaimed the walk as ‘good’ citing the fact he did not get lost. (easily pleased)
Flasher and Botcho tag-teamed the food with – very nice but no bread or salad and nice trifle, did enjoy it

DD and Hashy birthday to the coffin dodgers; Missing Link, Show Pony and Sir Prince who have all reached 70 years, congratulations. It’s all down hill from here.

Returners –

Hard On – far north Queensland
Now Loved – sick for a week, over achieving skier
VD – Tassy, Phuket
Shat – Head cold (though Phantom suggested it was a bad case of syphilis)
Missing Link – Philippines doing a recky for a new wife

Link brought the GM a traditional souvenir from the Philippines, a young boy whilst Shat offered some high roller gambling chits from Las Vegas. Don’t spend it all at once. Overcome by the generosity, the GM discarded rule one before launching into a French kiss with Shat. How much sherry was in that trifle?

Our RA entered the circle with the obligatory props and encouraged a drum roll from the energizer bunny. DD to Sir Prince for the mowing saga of three weeks ago (what ever happened to double jeopardy) and to Show Pony for a newspaper article. DD to miscarriage for something about Sir Prince (isn’t it always) and Two Dogs enlightened us on the anticipated aboriginal land grab by Sir Slab.
Not being one to drink alone, Sir Slab brought out Now Loved for attending a bike ride a month early. Phantom, who was unsure of his own name, was asked for a note.

Charges –
Miscarriage pulled out the filthy rich, those who have earned way too much and are being rightly taxed for it – BB, Slab, Princy and Blackie. DD’s to calls of “shoot the b&st&rds)

DD to Flasher for dropping his muslim patronage and becoming a Communist Sympathiser. You didn’t deserve that.

DD to Rectum, very unfairly, for following the Mudgeraba run web page directions to the letter but not finding the venue (which was somewhere else) and to those responsible – AH/Botcho/Blackie

POW Cum Smoke had several in his sights –

Hard On for never saying anything, Flasher and something about Caustic (not present tonight apparently gone fishing for the brown trout with his boyfriend) also Josephine for bagging the newly installed air horns on Cum Smoke’s Benz (they sound great but attract small children expecting to buy ice cream).
Finally the recipient was Now Loved, after he showed gratitude for a lift home by pulling off Cum Smoke. That should read Cum Smoke’s door handle.

From Shat there is a Goose Chase on the 20th of this month for anyone desperate for a harrierette.

From the news – a 74-year-old hasher is likely to get 20 years for under age sex, so enjoy the next 48 months Link. I can tell you the crumbed steak every Saturday night is horrible.

Nominations required for the upcoming Hierarchy change over.

Don’t forget the Bike ride re-scheduled for Anzac Day, which may be cancelled, without warning, in a Nano second.

The Nash Hash is coming so look out for a variety of events.

Next Weeks Run – Ferret so probably Miami then.

Rediscovering his funny bone, Iceman, a devout atheist, entertained all with a blonde/St Peter joke.

End of Circle duet with the dulcet tones of both Moonbeams and Josephine.

Thanks in varying degrees to the Sir’s for coming up with a winner at short notice, to the bats for f@cking off for once, to Croc for his excellent temporary coverage and to the ever-increasing percentage of hashers making the effort to run.

On On

Rectum
Hang On a Sec
Don’t believe a word of it.