Run 1832
Date : 10 December 2012
Hare : Head Job
Venue : The Spit
Runners 32
Weeks to the end of free birthday beers – 3.

A rather unexpected large group of 32 members gathered under the threat of showers at the far end of the Spit, with most anticipating a stuff up of a trail that could only go one way.

The psychology was to have the group believe that there was something of a surprise involved, having to pay during the run and receive an indelible mark to enable members to enter the “next place”.  Was it going to be a restaurant somewhere, a fish & chip maybe; maybe a boat cruise? It was of course a hoax to ensure that all went at least as far as the drink stop, some 5 -6 klms round trip. And it worked.

THE RUN: Head job introduced 6 logs to the group with the instructions that the 30 odd runners and walkers were to be divided into 6 groups, with each group managing one log which had to be delivered to the Drink Stop, where the $15 would be collected. A character “team building” exercise was the theory. Luckily the logs were riddled with borer holes and not too heavy.

The trail headed off to the beach and went under the sand-pumping jetty then back up to the gravel trail that snakes its way through the scrub between the ocean and asphalt road (Seaworld Dr.). The 4 -5 carriers of each log quickly broke down to 2 and in most cases one after Two Dogs decided to forego his weekly kung fu training and set a cracking pace. Some competition gathered between several groups. Pile Driver, Jigsaw, Caustic, Rockhard and others were actually jogging much of the way.

Blackie made the wise move and promptly dumped his log in the nearby dumpster, thinking that his team mates might collect it. They did not. After about 25 minutes of punishment the first group arrived at the  Pizza sponsored drink spot, where Flasher was smugly waiting with his usual claim of being first there. Ok Flasher, but where’s your fk’n log?

The smartest team arrived having completed the whole trail carrying their log with 2 slings below, sharing the weight among 4. A shat of an idea!  After 2 -3 beers the GM cancelled the remainder of the run (the long run) and all headed back, Caustic and BB along the gravel trail and the remainder straight down the asphalt road making the time away just oven one hour.

THE NOSH:  With wise use of the trailer the food was ready in record time.  The banquet was presented around a long collection of tables and hash chairs, set in the middle of the large car park. Just like the Sound of Silence dinners at Uluru.

Well it could have been silent if Pizza stayed at home! First there were nibblies followed by perfectly cooked white rice with a chilly seasoned concoction of beef mince and onions which some liked; some didn’t. The dessert was small fruit mince-meat tarts with cream and a raspberry on top – very tasty as long as you didn’t eat the alum. foil they came in.

THE CIRCLE:  Caustic was handed the first down down for talking and showing no respect for the GM, then the hare Head Job and the beer sponser Pizza were called out. Shat spoke convincingly in favour of the Run and suggested it become an annual event; score 10/10, but with a sly deceitful grin.

The nosh was considered very tasty and was liked by batchelor Truck Tyres and he scored it 7.5/10. A good effort for a first-time hare with little assistance. It was suggested to Pizza that maybe his next sponsored brew be the crowd favourite – his black beer.

Returners Platypus ex Darwin and Mother Brown, not too sure where he’s from or why he is here  were given DDs.

RA caught Pile Driver and VD having a chat and leaning on a truck and were accordingly punished. He also extracted a couple of jokes from the circle.

He called the POW several times and eventually Mohomad El Flash-Her appeared in full jihad regalia.  Mohamod was very loud and threatening and looked the part with his head cover, long black beard, white outfit and bombs around his waist.

However we realised that it was only Flasher when Mohamod set out his prayer mat in the wrong direction. As most know poor Mohamad damaged his thumb last week when Ferrett tried to pull his pants down and a schuffle commenced, however in his belignerent state for some reason Moh. thought it was our beloved RA and handed the prick, with suitable CDs on Islam and the holy Koran to secure his spiritual salvation, to Circumference.

The RA succumbed gracefully under Mohamod’s  loud screams of guilty, guilty, guilty, it was you infidel, you infidel. I will blow us all up!

 ANNOUNCEMENTS:

 Christmas Party next Monday. Arrive 1700 behind Broadbeach Convention Centre for 1730 start. Any visitors $100; otherwise $25 for regular runners.

No RUN Xmas eve.

An early start 1700 on New Years Eve somewhere in Broadbeach. Ladies welcome, with free glass of champagne.

Splinter Lunch Friday 28th December. Reserve your seat at the table

Just as at the beginning of the Circle, serial interjector Caustic was given a closing DD for trying to set up his 80 year old mother, who is about to visit the Coast, with any willing Hasher of whom he claimed there were many of similar age!

The Moonbeams imposter Josephine closed the Circle at 2055.

Thanks Head Job for a memorable evening and Pizza for the free piss.

All the above is the gospel truth, as remembered by Turpin Sorenob aka Bent Banana