Run 1810
Date : 9th July 2012
Hare : Mademoiselle Latrine
Venue : Len Fox park, Labrador
Runners 24

Weeks to Crocodiles birthday – 19
Weeks to Crocodile buying the crownies – 23

The start was questionable; instructions had been given which were akin to the food ordering at Helensvale the week before, who knew what was going to happen.

I am reliably informed by various hashers that the run commenced with a bus ride to Runaway Bay shopping centre, despite Latrine’s assertions that short cutting would be impossible, several hashers got off the bus early and proceeded direct to the drinks stop.

The rest continued on, disembarked and ran back to the drink stop using Translink signs instead of arrows. A healthy bar tab had been lodged and was utilized. All made their way home to Len Fox Park.

Unfortunately I was late due distraction by the ‘W’ word, no Flasher, not that ‘W’ word the one most of you have not been acquainted with for some time, I am of course referring to WORK.

I viewed the aperitif with some disbelief, a few walnuts scattered amongst various lettuce leaves. Apparently I had just missed the cheese and cold meat platter.

The starter arrived, what was it? Something in breadcrumbs, Cum Smoke suggested chicken bi-product but this had never even seen a chicken never mind originated at one.

Just when all appeared to be lost, the mains arrived; one for wine drinkers and one for the ale heads. These consisted of Texas slow cooked chilli con carne and rice or a German smorgasbord of kartoffel, sauerkraut and leg of pork. Topped off with a cinnamon laced fresh fruit salad. In the words of dumb and dumber, Latrine you totally redeemed yourself.

Again, I repeat, this is why we call ourselves the Gourmet Hash.

Circle was convened, the Hare invited out and the terminal food critic that is Ferret, was offered the opportunity to comment. Amid much agreement the food was lauded and scored 9.9/10. (A lot of effort and expense by the Hare)

Miscarriage gave the run report, stating it was well conducted, though no conductor on the bus, Ferret had led the breakaway movement (short cutting b@st*rds), the beer shouted at the grand was a nice touch before the long sprint home. 7.5/10 due to the variation factor. DD for the hare.

Returning runners – Sir Prince Valiant/Latrine/VD. Sir Prince presented a mask of Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth 11 (god bless her) to the GM as she was someone of his age. (and financial standing)

Visitors – Magician from Saigon, has been working on a project for two years without even turning a shovel, slowest DD in the history of mankind. Don’t ever award him POW, we’ll never get home.

The RA took to the floor, and despite strenuous protests by Sir Prince, issued a DD from new shoes. Ozzie was awarded a DD for bringing his own crownie, arriving late then nearly destroying the ugliest trophy ever made. Iceman ventured back out to finish the joke he c@ck%d up two weeks ago. (wasn’t really worth waiting for). DD Miscarriage for farting in circle, DD Latrine for putting sh*t on the GM and shaving cream on his face – better food and cabaret than the local RSL.

POW – Cum Smoke, relishing his place in the spotlight, proceeded to call out nearly everyone then sent them back, except for Veteran for his failure to use a complimentary voucher.

DD for Blackie, birthday boy, joined by Latrine who’s DD was emptied faster than Miscarriage’s bowels (read back a bit).

News – Flasher may be back from overseas early, as he has run out of porn money, sorry that should read prawn money.

Next weeks run – Two Dogs (no dessert warning) @ Paradise Point

Cum Smoke reports his trivia night was a resounding success, in 3rd place was Cum Smoke (we were expecting better as he set the questions) 2nd was Gary Davis the scout hall caretaker who came too early to lock up and 1st was Craig Jones who entered by mistake, thinking it was a soup kitchen.

On On

Rectum
On Sec
Some of the above may be untrue.