PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

Run: 1759
Date: Monday 18th July 2011
Hare: Rectum
Venue: Pacific Pines
Runners: 23

Weeks to AGPU: 48
Our Driver for the night of the “Northern Alliance”, Sir Rabbit said “I know the way, just turn down Greenway then into whatever and we’re there, I’m sure it’s where we’ve had a run before”. Left, right, left, through 15 round abouts and still lost. At least we found McAully (or whatever it’s called) Drive and knew it was somewhere along here even though it seemed the length of the M1 and we turned the wrong way. However as with most Hash nights we eventually, along with many other lost souls, found the venue perched atop of the hill overlooking the Nerang State Forrest, Mumbles Country.
Instructions were simple, do the long, short or walk trails and you should be back in anywhere from 35 – 50 minutes according to Rectum, who said he ran it in 30 mins without doing the checks/on backs. What he didn’t mention was that he ran it in Olympic 1500 metre qualifying pace times. So the pack trundled off into the darkness heading down the hill towards the town centre. Facing on backs and checks a plenty the pack meandered its way along the roads and pathways until coming to the first bush section.

Here the markings diminished and scattered the pack somewhat, particularly at the next check, which saw runners disappear into various directions. Aussie finally found the trail heading back up along a fence line and again into the bush. Again we got somewhat lost before emerging back onto the streets for a short spell before running back into the final and in parts, sloppy, bush section. Some of the runners choosing the long run came home before the short run and walkers, with a few of these selecting the unmarked hill climb home through the scrub (ask Sir Prince about that section).

Back at home base the snacks were available as the Hare was busy preparing the nights feast of pasta and spicy 5 sausage (allegedly) sauce followed by pastries and gluhwein. A feast fit for a Gourmet Hash pack. Departing Hare, Dicky Knee, heading to the wet and chilly Melbourne was hopefully pleased at the effort put into his finale run/walk.
GM called the circle just after 8:00pm and asked Mumbles to give a run report, who commented that it was a good, but a bit muddy, run and giving a 7/10 mark. Cumsmoke gave the nosh report saying the Gourmet had come back into Hash and giving it a 756 mark (re deciphered to 7.5/10). Sir Prince Valiant also gave the story (as he does) of the run, many moons ago, sponsored by an eager Real Estate Agent.

Apparently many got lost only to return to an almost empty 10 gallon keg, reminiscent of the good old days. Mumbles was also asked to give a report on his recollection of his AGPU night to which he responded with “F.ck all” except the story of bruises, falling from the shower/bath and breaking two ribs and having part of the bath fittings collapse on him.

Thankfully this event only happens once a year. Swollen was absent, apparently resting from his recent Kokoda Challenge run and Moonbeams had Skyped Botulism from Magnetic Island showing off how tough his holiday was.

RA, Josephine, and coincidently last week’s Hash Cash sends greetings from his Pacific Cruise and looks forward to returning so this week’s Hash Cash, Botulism, can also go on leave (great gig this Hash Cash).

Miscarriage also had a whinge about having to clean up after last week’s fire remnants left at the beach side venue.
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Downs Downs;
Rectum; Hare
Mumbles, Dicky Knee, Truck Tyres (ex Sydney); Returning runners

Big O; Leaving Circle

Dicky Knee; Trying to dob in GM (exemptions apply) for holding drink in wrong hand

Bent Banana; Charged by caustic for derogatory remarks re resemblance to female rat

Bent Banana & Dicky Knee: For holding drinks in wrong hand during down down

Big O: POW for leaving circle (awarded by Rock Hard)

Miscarriage; Failing to know location of secret Hash foot in photos (was in photo of himself)

Dicky Knee; Farewell drink and touching speech
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Please also note that there will be family/partner invited Sunday Pizza Lunch at Botulism’s golf course estate at Chip in Court, Helensvale (next to Helensvale Golf Club House), commencing at noon on Sunday 21st August 2011. Hash will provide bases with guests bringing their preferred toppings. More details in coming weeks.
That is all,
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs