Run 2026
Date:22/08/2016
Location: Carrara
Hare: Aussie
Hashers: 27
Returning hare, Aussie, was welcomed back to the GC from his world tour by an enthusiastic group of hashers keen for some more joviality and cheap piss. Instructions about
locating a little girl’s pink ribboned treasure boxes in the surrounding bushland were given by the hare before several groups headed off from the AFL club on Nielsens Road. It wasn’t look before the pack baulked at a pipe crossing across a dry creek bed which was where the run went well and trully arse up early into the run. Flasher had a sudden urge to find a shitter and bolted off in search of one. A group headed into the bush and another towards Pappas Way, with neither actually sure of where the trail went. Manny/Fanny (call him what you like, but just make sure that it is not late for dessert)was given a map to lead the walkers but irrespective of him reading it upside or downside, couldn’t make out where the walk went. However the main thing was that all got back to the venue in good time for happy hour beers. This time it was $1 cans and again they proved to be popular with the cheese and crackers, olives and salami on offer.
A tasty stew nosh was served before dessert. Compared to all the noise during happy hour, it was now quite as hashers ate their fill until they could eat no more. It was noticed that returning runner, a bearded Lurch , had left early which was a shame as there was plenty of nosh still available if he had decided to do some gorging. The circle warning from the GM soon had all on their feet and to kick off proceedings the hare was called out. Aussie told of all the countries he had visited recently and Sir Two Dogs was asked for his run critique. Again the fucking pipe crossing got a mention as did Miscarriage’s map reading. Now Loved spoke on the walk and it went something like this – Sir Slab had a GPS, Fanny read the map upside, some local gave them wrong directions while pissing them off from his property, yet somehow they didn’t get lost. Resident social gourmet guru commentator, Weekly, summed up the meal with – The nosh was fucking good. There’s got to be a gastronomic judging career coming up soon for our
Weekly with those sorts of well rounded comments.Truck Tyres got the lollies for finding some of little Jocelyn’s pink bits(treasure) as Josephine remarked.
The returning and departing hashers line up included Aussie (whole world), Now Loved (UK), Fanny C (Spain) and Sacre Blue Card (France). The latter looking resplendent in his high vis bike jacket presented to him as a result of his latest stack at Lands End.
In the absence of Shat, stand-in RA Miscarriage in a reverse role got the chance to take the piss out of others instead of him wearing it all the time. Sir PV probably picked the right time to visit Pommie land as I am sure he would have figured in payback dispatches had he been present. Flasher was the first out for having a seniors moment on the run when he nearly got the runs down his legs. Next up was Fanny C who complained bitterly about missing out on the best dessert – the chocolate coated ice creams as he was distracted at the time because he was trying to get as much cheap piss into himself during happy hour as possible. Blue Card with his standout Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers groupie flashing cap was a lay down massere to get a down down. As bearded Lurch had bolted, a line up of his possible whose your bearded daddy love child sires of Fanny C, Weekly, Ferret and Fullershit all took one for him.
A hash news update from far east correspondent, Botcho, indicates that the love life of Showpony is again in a state of flux(yes flux, you dirty bastards) with possible wife number 6 not quite ready for tying the knot /the mounting yard just yet which could be a blessing in disguise as it at least avoids yet another possible marital breakdown.
Then came the absolute evening’s clanger from Truck Tyres in a HE SAID WHAT MOMENT. Apparently there has been some hash e mail chatter doing the rounds between Sydney hashers Stringbean and Jukebox about what goes on hash tour etc. So somewhere in the translation , it would appear that Truck Tyres found himself in Aspen during Gay Ski Week. As the accommodation was a bit tight, he shared a one bedroom place with another bloke who told Truckie that he could sleep on the couch. As this was uncomfortable, Truckie decided that he was going to share the big bed so Truck Tyres recounted how – I DROPPED MY DACKS and crawled into bed with his companion in a never leave your mates behind moment. The reaction of hashers reeling from this confession was well worth the price of the night’s admission. Here was another example of what seems to be some sort of on going bromance trend developing of late around possible Rule 1 infringements judging by photos and alcohol fuelled behaviour in recent months.
During the course of the circle, the current POW, Flasher, was showing the latest creation from Palm Beach Currumbin High, an App for pubescent teenagers. This innovative and entrepreneurial idea inspired by the Shark Tank was a collaborative effort of the IT class, the nude art classes and the school’s sex education course by the school’s Grade 9 students. However they now find themselves accused by their own school of running a school pornographic ring and have been given a 20 day school free holiday and find themselves enrolled in a cyber safety course. Quite a few hashers thought it would be much better viewing if on a larger screen and remarked during the circle that they wished this had been around while they were growing up. Just somehow, I can’t see these progressive hashers getting a guernsey on the PBC P&C committee.
Flasher called our a couple of nominees as decoys but Dicky Knee, who has blended in well for a couple of weeks as a wallflower, was the winner much to his surprise especially when Flasher told him there’s no reason for you getting it.
In a protocol oversight, Ferret was invited to close the circle of RPR10 much to the chagrin of circle-closer-in-waiting Josephine, an appointed disciple of that great closer, Moonbeams.However, Moonbeams is not ready to pass the baton over anytime soon.
Yours in hashing
n CIRCUMFERENCE